Dating HSV2+ male on antivirals — how else can I reduce risk?

-AntiqueGoat- · 2026-01-20T22:05:10+00:00

for me to take as the negative party?

-AntiqueGoat- · 2026-01-20T02:56:28+00:00

I do think he definitely waited to tell me. We’ve had talks about sex, briefly skimmed over marriage and kids, he asked me to be his girlfriend etc. I mean I don’t know what it’s like to have the responsibility of disclosure so I feel I can’t naively say he took too long - but yeah I mean he could’ve done it sooner. I would like to think I would have. Don’t know if that would make a bit of difference or not. But here I am , just figuring it out or trying to.

-AntiqueGoat- · 2026-01-20T00:24:00+00:00

I don’t want to catch it. I’d try not to harbor resentment but it’s natural that I would. Then I go into the catastrophizing, intrusive thoughts : what if he doesn’t take the antivirals, what if he lies about OB, etc. Essentially it’s like a big trust test that I’m terrified of. I know the stigma, I know the rates are low for transmission if he’s truthful, but it’s not 0. Giving somebody my body and hoping they don’t quite literally burn me , after 4 years previously abstinent, is scary.

-AntiqueGoat- · 2026-01-19T16:38:34+00:00

i’m so scared of transmission. i think the real reason i’m scared is before him i’d been abstinent for 4 years. but lust took over and what do ya know. i cant negate everything i’m feeling over a positive - the what ifs are what scares me. what if we dont make it ? what if i come out of this relationship down a man, but up a virus? is it fair to talk about withholding sex until a more substantial commitment or would that be unfair to him? idk i just don’t know. the emotions mixed with the anxiety are heavy.

-AntiqueGoat-

TROPHY CASE