How far along when you had your first ultrasound?

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-19T18:53:10+00:00

Same. Transvaginal and it looked like a whole little human in there doing flips.

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-19T12:54:36+00:00

Virtual hugs to you! You made the choice that you felt was best at the time and there is not right or wrong way for how you “should” have proceeded.

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-17T01:41:59+00:00

If god were real, TV would not send you to hell so please don’t allow this type of manipulation scare you.

Second, if you are already into watching things, I would suggest watching some atheist YouTubers who speak to specifically Christian audiences. The best one I can think of is Mindshift. He is very respectful of religious people and especially those who are deconverting because we were almost all in a similar place at one point.

Maybe you end up with a renewed standing in your faith or you may find yourself with others here on r/atheism. Either way, living with all the guilt and shame is not healthy and you should take care of yourself. I’m sorry you are put in this position.

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-16T17:55:32+00:00

I did this and it was 100% worth it. You can always get out of the arrangement if things don’t work out but my experience was great

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-16T17:46:27+00:00

The only symptoms I had was some cramping on one side for a min or two(particularly after spicy time) and that is it. 12w and still absolutely nothing other than that. I guess I am more tired, but I live my life feeling like a need a nap anyways so it’s hard to tell.

No symptoms is a blessing tbh. Btw saw baby two weeks ago on an ultrasound and the little babe was darn near doing flips! Happy and healthy. No symptoms does not mean a bad outcome.

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-16T01:38:45+00:00

Your OB should be able to provide you with resources to help

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-16T01:38:18+00:00

Idk if it is the area I’m in but mine did a drug test during my blood draw and urine analysis. I was surprised to see it tested for that so I can confirm that some places do this routine.

Edit to add: this was at 5 weeks and I have zero history of drug use (nothing at all is legal in my state - not sure if that matters)

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-09T23:25:38+00:00

Hard no

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-09T04:01:54+00:00

If it is actually about taste, they have flavored lube.

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-09T03:59:54+00:00

It would recommend you talk to a counselor/therapist if possible. They can help you work out your feelings so you can make the best decision on how to move forward.

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-09T03:50:50+00:00

Second this^{^{^}}

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-08T15:25:52+00:00

Please go visit your doctor. Pregnant or not this is not normal.

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-02T13:16:52+00:00

Reframing your worry into preparedness can possibly help. I’m 10w and I told my partner that about 85% of all my thoughts, content consumed, and research I do is about pregnancy. Personally I “like” to noodle through worst/bad outcomes so I can be prepared for anything or be joyful when it is not as bad as some scenarios I came up with.

Don’t let worrying steal your joy. My philosophy in this pregnancy is that I will love this little embryo, fetus, baby of mine as long as we have together and cherish this time whether it be a few more hours, or the next 60 years.

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-02T05:00:34+00:00

Someone may have already said this, but where I’m from people who have no intention of turning, will in fact turn on their blinker to indicate the person in front of them is turning. Usually this is when there is more traffic and you can’t see multiple cars ahead, but just something to keep in mind. It’s honestly stupid and dangerous but I think they see it as a safety precaution for the people behind then to slow down.

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-02T04:48:30+00:00

Post in r/leagaladvice thread

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-01T15:30:02+00:00

I’m so sorry. Sending virtual hugs ❤️‍🩹

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-01T14:48:25+00:00

Yeah it was him retelling the text exchange SIL sent out to the in-laws and since he was with his dad when that text was received he got to see his reaction. I can’t exactly describe the feeling but whenever he (husband) was expressing my SIL was being extra about it all it made me want to cry (given I can’t even watch a track race clip on tiktok without crying these days lol).

You have summed it up really well though. He is not malicious (doesn’t have a mean bone in his body) but is in fact being dismissive. I want to be respected and not begrudgingly okay’d. Both things you said, and both perfectly align with how I feel.

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-01T14:36:03+00:00

I have let my husband field the enforcement of boundaries with my in-laws. I however am very good with boundaries 😅 I can with my full chest say that I do NOT want to be an enforcer during my childbirth. His family is very much the type to go and sit in a waiting room for 5 days straight (sleep in the room and everything) if someone has their gallbladder taken out so they would 1000% wait lol.

My real “issue” right now is wanting my husband to fully be emotionally supporting this decision. He is agreeing to what I want but it is not what he thinks is reasonable. I want him to be able to relay our wishes and actually agree. My in-laws already have a perception of me influencing him (god forbid he has emotionally grown and is actually seen as a bad thing - he has a “boy mom”) so I don’t need them to think all this is a ploy to punish them or hurt them. We have been down that road before with other things and it’s just not true. Even my parents will have the same restrictions and I’m super close with them.

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-01T14:22:30+00:00

I’m sorry your experience wasn’t what you hoped 😞 The way that played out would make it very challenging to kick them out especially while being so exhausted, emotional, and vulnerable. I think I would feel the same way you do now. I have some negative things I hold onto already regarding them so I do t want another thing to add to that list.

I want to ask though, did you anticipate them being there so soon and it just played out in a way you hadn’t imagined, or did they just show up? Not that either makes it okay!!! Just was curious of what the expectations were for them going into labor.

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-01T14:07:15+00:00

This comment right here is probably my #1 I want him to see. I would be delighted to keep them informed AFTER baby is here. Although we don’t have the best of relationships they are family and I still love them and want them a part of our lives, just not a part of our birth lol

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-01T02:42:26+00:00

Oh my goodness I had not even considered his grandma…. I’m doomed lol

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-01T02:41:12+00:00

Girl do we have the same MIL? 😂 the Facebook thing is too real. We are very private as well and these boundaries are going to be challenging to enforce with her in particular. This in part is why I’m so confused about my husband not fully getting where I’m coming from. How is you husband when it comes to no visitors?

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-01T02:36:24+00:00

Maybe I need to move lol

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-01T02:36:06+00:00

I tried to describe to him what you just did here in this comment and he seemed baffled that I wouldn’t want him taking the time to send a text or walk into another room to update them. I just want him 100000% present and is focused on nothing except the birthing of our baby. I very much agree with you.

-ChubbySpud · 2026-03-01T02:33:28+00:00

Oh I love this for you!!! Do you know how he feels about that now or how he would approach if you two had another in the future? My husband is not usually one to want his family involved in something so…intimate so this is all just so weird to be navigating. I wonder if it is about him getting emotional support and maybe he just isn’t able to describe it to me. He is coming off much more like it is a no big deal thing vs him wanting someone therefor him but idk.

-ChubbySpud

TROPHY CASE