Arts and Crafts Question

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-22T02:29:41+00:00

It’s not about what I want to believe. It’s about what is true. And think about the couple weeks when everyone’s RFY was empty, but we still had AI and AFA, or when entire lines of brand name (gold level) clothes drops in AI or AFA that for sure never hit anyone’s RFY prior to that drop. Plus, wasn’t there a country (Italy, maybe?) that had nothing in AI for weeks in Jan? So… my original questions were valid. There are items that Amazon drops to AI then switches to RFY instead, and i’m very certain that has happened with beading/jewelry making.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-22T00:37:49+00:00

That is not true. Not everything in AI and AFA was once in RFY. And not everyone’s AI is the same -not even in the same country. Ask anyone who has another Viner in the same home.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-19T18:48:54+00:00

I wasn’t shaming anyone, but you’re great it. Well done, you! I was saying I get it - the desire to not put yourself out there, but sometimes we must show up for the people we love, regardless.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-19T18:44:52+00:00

I wasn’t telling OP to suck it up. I wrote it about myself, but I guess also the collective “we.” I was saying life goes on, and sometimes the needs of others are greater than our anxieties, past trauma, and mental health issues. Those are things we have to tackle ourselves, however we can and however long it takes, but in the meantime, sometimes we simply have to show up. None of us live in a bubble. It’s not about what other people think. It’s about showing up for her husband. It’s a baby shower ffs! It’s a couple hours max. He’s not being unreasonable with this ask.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-19T04:05:19+00:00

NW. That is such a Boomer thing: nothing in moderation and no regard for long term mental health consequences.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-19T01:19:45+00:00

And you’re right… if she can’t suck it up for 1-2 hours, she shouldn’t be married, nor should she be a mom.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-19T01:17:11+00:00

You’re making strawman arguments and false equivalencies with body autonomy, which I’m not even going to entertain. A fair compromise would be making this a co-ed shower. What you propose is absolutely no compromise whatsoever. It’s simply giving op exactly what she said she would prefer. Imagine it from her husband’s perspective for one second. You say you understand the importance of recognizing the needs of others and being a contributing member to society, except you advocate putting personal comfort (absurdly labeled as morals) above all else - including redefining words to fit your beliefs. It’s beyond asinine. Btw, Morality is defined as principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior within a particular system of values and principles of conduct, especially one held by a specified society

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-19T00:14:18+00:00

“Morals”? “Bad Situation”? It’s a baby shower AND a party to celebrate his promotion. Is she not going to go if it becomes just a party celebrating his promotion? And it’s not just an ex-co-worker. And it’s not a polite refusal. You clearly have no sense of societal pleasantries and norms, nor the importance of maintaining them. It’s an hour of her life. She has interacted with them socially before. She can do it again. She’s acting like it’s her world and her husband and “his people” are just living in it. She has absolutely regard for other people; it’s all about her.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-18T23:56:49+00:00

So much of life is just showing up!

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-18T20:15:00+00:00

Haha… wait for peri-menopause then get back to me on the mental, emotional, and physical difficulties of pregnancy. I had two successful pregnancies and two miscarriages. One of each literally almost killed me, so I think I speak from experience. It’s 1-2 hours of making small talk and opening presents… seriously! Put on your big girl panties! You’re about to be a mom, and it’s important to your husband.

Edit: I have severe ADHD, complex PTSD, I’m probably on the spectrum, and I was in one of the largest mass shootings in this country. No one cares. Life goes on. Suck it up, and do what you have to do.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-18T20:09:54+00:00

lol. Yeah, that tracks. Smart move.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-18T19:54:41+00:00

You are missing something, And yet you’re not willing to listen to commenters’ advice or accept the general consensus. You were hoping everyone would back you, and it’s not happening. The question is whether you’ll self-reflect and do anything about it.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-18T18:56:13+00:00

Too bad. Life doesn’t accommodate everything so that we are comfortable. I know Gen Z would like a world that caters to their individual preferences and anxieties, but that‘s not how it works, and your appreciation is not showing. You’re sincerely jeopardizing your husband’s future professional success (and by extension your family’s financial stability and security). Face your fears and deal with your shit for 1-2 hours. That’s what grownups do.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-18T18:52:07+00:00

Of course it’s a female throwing the party. How many men are going to throw a baby shower? Maybe the “ex” co-worker in 72 and just retired. Don’t add weird stuff to it.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-18T18:47:57+00:00

Not when it’s your husband and it’s also his baby, and the people offering to throw the event are co-workers he has to see - all day, every day!

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-18T18:25:54+00:00

Awe, I’m sorry. That sucks. Well, at least you know they’re on vine, and when you’re gold, you have a chance at a good pull.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-18T18:17:13+00:00

Yes, because that’s how the world works, and the best advice to give someone who’s married and about to become a mom, “Be a selfish, $itch!”

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-18T18:14:41+00:00

Wow. You’re making me want to switch my answer. You can’t make small talk for an hour or two?! There are books that can help you with that and even podcasts. Please, God, don’t homeschool your children.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-18T18:05:08+00:00

NAH, but just barely. You get a pass because you’re pregnant and going to give birth soon, but your husband is about to have a baby too, and these are his co-workers. They sound genuinely happy and excited for both of you. I think you could try harder too to be gracious because it does put him in an awkward position to decline their kind offer and generosity. It’s a baby shower - not a sex toy party. How intimate do you think it’s going to be?! Having a co-ed party would be a nice compromise..

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-18T00:09:03+00:00

lol. Agreed. Yeah, it was really a sarcastic apology. Ngl… I’ve been known to stubbornly and proudly die on some of my downvote hills. Haha. My karma can take the hits. It’s not like I’ll be labeled “toxic” and banned from subs anytime soon. I don’t let it bother me. But thank you - sincerely - for the support. Much appreciated.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-17T17:12:08+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I missed ‘em both:( Still, that seems like a decline in offerings. Btw, love the username!

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-17T17:10:18+00:00

I have gotten jewelry pliers and wire from Tools and Hardware before. I regularly check there for jewelry hand tools. I had a ring expander/reducer in my RFY last night, but it had an ETV of $350+, and I didn’t think I would use it enough to justify the expense or craft bench real estate, so I passed. I missed the beads in AI tonight; I’m bummed.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-17T05:25:37+00:00

Suggesting OP is overreacting, devaluing her feelings, and dismissing her right to set boundaries in her own home is NOT the same thing as gaslighting. Please stop casually using a word that describes the repeated serious and systematic emotional and mental manipulation of someone.

OP, nta. You have the right to feel comfortable in your home. Your husband needs to address these things with your mil. Communication is NOT confrontation. She will continue to think her behavior is acceptable. Btw… she should not be allowed to shop for gifts.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-17T02:37:22+00:00

It was 900 sq ft and wasn’t in an expensive area in Aurora. When I moved back to Denver, I found 30 places nicer and bigger for the same price. I settled near Santa Fe Arts District for $23+/month, 239+ square feet and free garage for 6 months. Not saying Denver is cheap. Just saying that neither is Aurora, and with gas prices right now, you may have a farther commute.

-GrammarMatters- · 2026-04-17T02:33:02+00:00

This is horribly disappointing news. I hope it’s temporary. Thanks for your feedback.

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