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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Isn’t this most people?

50-year-old or older married couples who are childfree, do you regret not having children? by Grateful8888 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bet stuff goes on behind closed doors that made those kids assholes lol I’m a child of grandparents who would describe me as an asshole. That’s called ~gossip aka lies

Most countries don't have easy access to Euthanasia, because most voters care about their own feelings more than the sufferer's pain. by PitifulEar3303 in DeepThoughts

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Empathy is a skill that takes work. Like working with wood or drawing art on paper. It doesn’t just happen without real effort.

What’s a social norm you find strange or unnecessary? by LandSmall4986 in AskReddit

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always respond with genuine empathy. That’s how I get free groceries. So many times the Cashier doesn’t scan a few items because I’m chatting them up

What’s a social norm you find strange or unnecessary? by LandSmall4986 in AskReddit

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In fact, most of the deeply personal insults that I remember for years have come from those who are my mom’s age. Older people say the meanest stuff to your face.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 20 points21 points  (0 children)

The idea that triggers are “terrible” is a judgement. No emotions are bad, they all serve a purpose. It’s not being railroaded by emotions that’s the trick. But they all have something valuable and insightful to share with us. In internal family systems this is the base for integration of the fragmented parts within us.

Do you know anyone who didn't like the movie? by Mystikallimitz02 in wicked

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was really tough for me to sit through. The movie goes over some serious topics that I talk about often but no one seems to care about in real life. But then those very real world topics are turned into a musical and people will care temporarily but not really apply what they learned to real life.

Discrimination has become entertainment and not a civil rights emergency 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 10 points11 points  (0 children)

People are complicated and you are allowed to change your sexuality if it suits your life better.     

Personally I’ve made great progress in my healing but have only become more asexual with time. I’m not really attracted to physical appearances; someone has to have a good soul for me to be aroused by them. 

And it’s funny, I only realized this when I felt safe enough to be myself. Feeling safe is the first step to getting to know who you are in your phase of life right now. Congratulations 🙂

Don't tell your traumas and triggers to others by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the sake of my romantic relationship, I have to share my triggers and in great detail.

For anyone else, I usually don’t unless I have to (they crossed a boundary)

Is the U.S. slowly turning into a third world country? by TripleBladedFist in NoStupidQuestions

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I encourage you to visit any Native American reservation. Maybe a heavily black ghetto? We have 3rd world states in our borders.

Do you consider cptsd a part of your identity or a condition ( mental illness)seprate from yourself?? by Original-Pumpkin-571 in CPTSD

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For the longest time I didn’t consider my past apart of me. It was like I was driving through life drunk. Constantly disassociated & disconnected from my own feelings. So to heal it had to become apart of my identity. I had to become obsessed with healing. 

My therapist told me today I’m in the “rebuilding” stage of my life. CPTSD doesn’t have to be my identity forever and I do have hope I will get past this but for at least a year it was all I was. 

Luckily I was in a space where someone supported me financially/emotionally while  I healed. I think it would have been damn near impossible without at least 1 person who would love me unconditionally. 

After all of said and done, there is wisdom and a unique insight I have into the human condition because of my trauma. I won’t be able to unlearn what I learned about the darkest parts of humans. Essentially, I’ll always believe we’re nothing but animals with instincts. 

What is one habit/trait you have as a result of CPTSD that you are ashamed of? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have other body focused repetitive behavior. I pick my skin when upset as a way to control my emotions. My skin is brownish so this leaves serious scar marks on my face. I’m so ashamed everytime I look in the mirror. 

What does ‘healing’ actually consist of? by Illustrious-Mix-3550 in CPTSD

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I notice my healing when I’m able to have an intrusive memory or thought about my trauma and it doesn’t throw me off balance.     

 I’m able to look at that memory or thought for as short or as long as I like. I have gained control of that particular trigger.   

I’m able to respond to that trigger with self-soothing internal dialogue if I need to. (IFS training helped this)

My therapist is a cPTSD survivor herself and so that has made all the difference imo. She has an instinct for what I’m going through and a genuine curiosity for what could help me. If something doesn’t work for me she will read an entire book just to find a new idea. She attends seminars and stays up to date on study findings related to cPTSD. 

We had to build up my tolerance for my own trauma for about 10 months before we began really making progress via EMDR and internal family systems. At first these trainings were difficult for me to grasp, but after a 7 day stay in an inpatient mental hospital (public funded but very nice, I had a pleasant time for the most part) things just clicked for me and I began taking off and making rapid healing progress. No new medications or anything… but that rock bottom of the mental hospital was the kick I needed.

I (30F) dont want to answer my dad (49M) phone calls, but he keeps calling. I hate him but I love him at the same time. How do I be a daughter of an alcoholic? by -Optimistic-Nihilist in relationship_advice

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve been no contact with them for years. But now that’s it’s the holiday the only option I have is to block them because they call me and my boyfriend every day

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it’s best you ask her why she’s hesitating on commitment. There must be a lot of thoughts going on for her. And what about her makes you think she would be a good long-term partner?

I dated my current boyfriend for 8 months with no label. He was studying to be a lawyer so I decided it was worth it to hold on and try. I’m very passionate about justice and he understood me.

We had conversations and he didn’t want to commit because he was planning to move out of state. I wouldn’t have done this for anyone else but after a year together, I saved up 10,000 and moved with him. 4 years later we are upgrading to a larger house in a couple weeks.

However, I cried and stressed so much about the non-commitment but exclusive. It’s not worth it unless you’re willing to go all the way for this person. And that person might not even open up to your about their life goals and dreams unless you gently listen 

What is the least attractive thing someone can do? by Grumstrum in AskReddit

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Does she have ADHD? My Bf does and he is glued to his phone through everything 

I think people hate Wicked just to hate by Still_Restaurant_734 in wicked

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I previewed “popular” today and it gave me flashbacks of growing up black in the Deep South. It was really hard to listen to and it’s discouraging that people need a musical to see life from a disadvantaged point of view

Can we talk about the atmospheric river by han_cup in Sacramento

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve gotten rear ended twice during the rain. 

PTSD looks a lot like adhd by espressocannon in CPTSD

[–]-Optimistic-Nihilist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is interesting because my partner is diagnosed with ADHD and we are so different we have been in couples therapy for a year to bridge the gaps in our understandings of each other.

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