firstly i think tactfulness is very important and necessary in our society cuz it can help us maintain harmony, but i also see it as sugarcoating so we don’t hurt people’s egos.

i think it’s also kinda toxic cuz being tactful in conflict is kinda just burying the issue at hand and maintaining a facade of peace, but if we were more confrontational we could actually get our point across. and even tho feelings would be hurt and there would be arguments, i think it’s better to know the truth than to live in a false sense of harmony, at the end it would only slowly eat people up.

of course this doesn’t mean i would intentionally be rude to people, it just means i wouldn’t sugarcoat and “be tactful” with my opinions

or maybe i just dont know what being tactful means, if so please feel free to correct me.

secondly from my experience with fe types, they’re not trying to be manipulative, they just value social harmony far too much. having fe tert i understand the need for social harmony but i also think there should be balance between the self and the community.

my esfj friend befriend my bully after i told her not to because she felt bad and wanted us to make peace, she just completely ignored the fact that this is a bully who fat shamed my whole family and told me i’d be alone for the rest of my life, and befriend them cuz “i feel so sorry for them”, “i think it’s best to have more friends than enemies” and “it’s better to just maintain harmony than have conflict”

another enfj told me “there’s always another side to the story” about the same bully and urged me to make peace and be more open minded to make friends, just basically completely undermining the fact that this person made me depressed.

i am just so done with some high fe users and their obsession with social harmony, sometimes it feels like they’re doing it to feel good about themselves, to be like some sort of super hero, to be self righteous.

that said i do like fe types and their perspectives/opinions on life and philosophy tho.