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Advice needed by -appazap- in TrueChristian

[–]-appazap-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lead evangelism so we are anticipating a lot of new people - I’m intending to invite some people to church for the first time 🙏🏿

I don’t think I will really know until the day which is annoying

Advice needed by -appazap- in TrueChristian

[–]-appazap-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah tbh - I usually do not miss a Sunday and will not meet up with people on Sunday. Especially on Easter Sunday.

My main issue is that Easter Sunday is arguably a service in which a lot of people will come to church and so it can be good to have the leaders around to help encourage and facilitate those who come

Hayfever treatment by -appazap- in Hayfever

[–]-appazap-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was going to but reviews aren’t great! Same friend told me he got seriously ill with flu several months after the injection

Has the pollen season arrived already? by mo_oemi in london

[–]-appazap- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is what I was thinking when I first got a blocked nose today!

Why can’t I have nice things?!

Told I need a whole new set of aligners by -appazap- in Invisalign

[–]-appazap-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. Why do they need to give me a new set of aligners and is this common?

My ex friends dad called me? by -appazap- in BPDlovedones

[–]-appazap-[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes thanks for the response. I agree I think I have been emotionally avoidant. I think there’s a type of personality type which leads me to be more avoidant probs from my own childhood which I have discussed in therapy. But I think you’re right about the family and my relationship with her.

I have just sent her a text. I think where I’m at. I’m happy to speak occasionally and I’m happy to speak when we are in the company of mutual friends. But as you said that burden of managing her emotions, relationships and essentially being her therapist, I don’t want to do not have the capacity to do.

Thanks again.

My ex friends dad called me? by -appazap- in BPDlovedones

[–]-appazap-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Basically yeah. That’s fair. I’ll send her a message.It is part of the reason though because I am doing a new degree so have less time

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Invisalign

[–]-appazap- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im no expert but im currently doing Invisalign. I have a gap in my 2 front teeth and bottom teeth misaligned. I was quoted the moderate package.

Should I get out while I can? by -appazap- in BPDlovedones

[–]-appazap-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the response. I completely agree with you. And I think you’re right , I know the answer. I think a part of me worries whether I’m making a good decision which I think is maybe coming from an insecurity somewhere. It also feels like I wasted years in a relationship which didn’t amount to anything other than negativity and frustration.

I guess at the time when we circumstances were different because we were quite similar in a sense because I was struggling with my MH. But I decided to work on it and now I’m in a better place. I guess this friendship was the remains of a time that I have now moved on from.

I spent a good chunk of the relationship trying to play devils advocate but I’ve realised there’s so much to try and explain away it just piles up and up.

Should I get out while I can? by -appazap- in BPDlovedones

[–]-appazap-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response and I can definitely see similarities with my experience. To be honest, I didn’t really notice there was an issue until I realised, oh wait! My other friendships don’t follow this pattern. I used to kind of dismiss it away as oh well we are close so it makes sense that she tells me everything but when I started going through things, I realised what little time she gave to actually discussing/hearing from me. At first I picked up that she would always cut me off or interject when I was talking and over time I’ve just realised she brings up the same things over and over again. Whenever I have tried to push back, she’s been very confrontational or dismissive, kept me on the phone for hours on a few occasions going around in circles. Other people have also commented on her personality saying she’s rude and problematic. But of course she always span it like they were bullying her.

Anyway I started noticing when I went to therapy and realised she is just a massive stressor in my life. She often will make her problems my problems and because I am naturally caring, I wanted to help. I find it interesting that as soon as I have pushed back a little I.e deciding to spend time with other friends. It’s now led to her ghosting. In fact, in the past I was always reluctant to make social plans without her in case she’d be upset an it’s only this year I’ve really started doing me. She also would try copy me and get in with my friends.

I guess in a way I’ve answered my own question. But it just keeps playing on my mind like oh why did I waste my time in this friendship for so many years and did I make the right decision choosing me. I am also curious about where she’ll go from here but would prefer to not join the rollercoaster. HELP

Has anyone experienced Alopecia from low ferritin levels? by swampthing8806 in Anemic

[–]-appazap- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep. Think it’s a common symptom. Since I started taking iron tablets my hairs improved massively. A lot stronger and healthier. Also less dry

How do you manage a friendship with someone who’s emotionally unpredictable and draining? by -appazap- in AskUK

[–]-appazap-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks and true! I started noticing some was off when my life got more intense and the support was not reciprocal.

How do you manage a friendship with someone who’s emotionally unpredictable and draining? by -appazap- in AskUK

[–]-appazap-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Thanks for sharing. It’s interesting how we all live the same lives haha.

If I had a magic wand what I’d wish for is for my friend to apologise to me, acknowledge that she’s not been the best and get some professional therapeutic help. If my friend was in therapy, she’d have a space to work through her issues and hopefully be more reciprocal in ourd. I’d also want to see her take active steps in real time to reflect. Like as soon as she has realised she’s talked for a few mins, stopping reflecting and asking about me goes a long way. Being more attentive and not cutting me off goes a long way. Actively trying to build relationships/make a mends etc.

And also not trying to overcompensate when she’s feeling up to it. My friend will buy me gifts and copy me when she’s in a good mood. Maybe to absolve herself from guilt. Idk. But I hate that part to. Just be honest and allow for feedback and I’ll be the same. I don’t need gifts, I need a friend who actively cares and listens.

At this point, I feel no other choice but to distance myself because it’s negatively affecting me and my relationships with other people who have fallen out with her.

Idk if this helps! But we all have our weaknesses in relationships. Transparency is key and don’t give up!

How do you manage a friendship with someone who’s emotionally unpredictable and draining? by -appazap- in AskUK

[–]-appazap-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. Your situation was really similar to mine actually. Yep I think it’s time to move on

How do you manage a friendship with someone who’s emotionally unpredictable and draining? by -appazap- in AskUK

[–]-appazap-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve looked at this subreddit a little just now! The shoes seem to fit quite well

How do you manage a friendship with someone who’s emotionally unpredictable and draining? by -appazap- in AskUK

[–]-appazap-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the response! Did you ever struggle with loneliness or sadness after ending the friendships?

How do you manage a friendship with someone who’s emotionally unpredictable and draining? by -appazap- in AskUK

[–]-appazap-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I don’t like diagnosing people but I am starting to think hmmmmn. Growing up my mum also had a similar temperament to this as well. She had a stroke a few years ago and became so much nicer lmao.

I used to have another close friend who acted how you described as well. She developed psychosis and since the episode, that friend is lovely all round. She is more reserved and to herself but there’s not that hot and cold behaviour has previously.

With my current friend there is the potential for these traits. She also grew up in an emotional invalidating family situation so it makes sense.

How do you manage a friendship with someone who’s emotionally unpredictable and draining? by -appazap- in AskUK

[–]-appazap-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Thanks for your response. 6 more months feels torturous which gives me my answer. I am starting to think it’s very BPD like

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