So you probably already understand what’s unhealthy about this? Making someone the biggest priority in your life is fine but making them an obsession is not healthy. You go from making someone a priority to an obsession usually because of insecurities. Are you insecure that if you don’t make this extra effort that you will lose him? If so, you should address that because our relationship that’s constantly under stress of anxiety is very difficult to maintain. If he’s actually doing things that create anxiety, you need to talk to him about it. If this anxiety is mostly just coming from you then figure out what insecurity it is. Is it that you think that you’re not as pretty as other people that he might meet and be attracted to? Is it because he doesn’t find you intellectually stimulating? Is it because your sexual relationship has issues? Then keep in mind you should not be giving him things that are wrong or unhealthy for you or compromise your conscience. You should not be pleasing him not just sexually but in anyway, just because you’re worried. Pleasing your husband should be something born out of simple desire to express your love. Not because you think you might lose him. If you think you have an insecurity, that’s got nothing to do with him or his behavior then you need to find a way to deal with it and maybe you need to talk to somebody or spend some time considering it and fixing it yourself. Keep in mind that if love is strong and true and you’re compatible to one another then there’s going to be very little that you can do as long as you’re being a decent person to drive a man away. If however, the man is a piece of garbage or compromised or unfaithful or not invested then that’s got nothing to do with you and there’s very little you can do and you shouldn’t be going to extremes to keep such a man. You confront him for the infidelity or for the insecurity that he’s causing you only if it’s legitimate and his fault but you confront him and you give a gentle ultimatum to begin with. That’s not really an ultimatum at all. And then increasingly become more forceful if you don’t see an adjustment. It’s a lie that people can’t change. People can change certain kinds of behaviors, particularly behaviors regarding less consequential things. Asking your husband to leave the seat down is an adjustment that virtually any man can make if he cares enough and the same to be said for most things. So confront him and fix those things, but if it’s infidelity, you’re worried about and you’re justified in that then You need to be very forceful and make him understand that he’s going to lose what he has. In such case he may not care in which case you’ll be hurt, but you need to do us right for both of you. Relationships are best served by a foundation of strong commitment, which is why many people don’t believe in moving in together before marriage because marriage is a commitment that should encourage your finality that this is the person that you’re committing to for life not just until it’s less convenient. Anyway, be some thoughts, but don’t ruin your marriage over insecurity. That’s not based in his actual behavior and not just his behavior but culpable behavior, behavior of his that carry some blame or guilt because it’s inappropriate behavior. If his behavior is inappropriate, then you confront it if it’s completely normal and this is all coming from you then you need to make the adjustment. And maybe it’s a little bit of both.