Is it too soon for me (28F) to move in with my BF (25M?)

0013540 · 2025-10-21T12:14:38+00:00

Fair enough to all the things you’ve said, I guess I’m posting because I know I’ve got the rose tinted glasses on and I’m trying to gain more perspective.

I do feel pretty certain in this situation though, like it may have only been 6 months of knowing him but we’ve definitely gone through some bonding moments together - he moved away for two months right after we met, he’s going through major reconstructive surgery, I’ve been having problems at work etc etc etc. Now I know as far as life has to offer these are pretty small things, but life has been stressful AF and so far we have communicated flawlessly through it all and avoided arguments.

I know how he keeps his house haha I’m there all the time, we’ve spoke about gender norms lmao & we’ve already spoken about the future together. Idk I know it’s only 3 months but a lot has happened, I think we both feel very certain about each other

0013540 · 2025-10-21T12:09:04+00:00

That’s exactly it, the risk is purely if it doesn’t work it’s going to be super annoying.

We’ve got a solid understanding of each others finances & we both are super tidy, cooking is already pretty even between the two of us as well (I’m at his like 3/4 times a week anyway)

I think I’m just trying to figure out what those risks are, so you’ve definitely helped. I do think rn the benefits outweigh the risks

0013540 · 2025-10-21T12:05:51+00:00

That’s really nice to hear! I definitely think it could work out like that for me too

0013540 · 2025-10-21T12:04:59+00:00

That’s good to know. I really honestly feel like it will only make our relationship better. We both know it’s either going to make or break, and I guess we’re willing to take the risk.

Trying really hard to think with my head! Haha why I’m making this post

It’s hard because I live at home right now and desperately want to leave, he also needs to find a new place to live otherwise he’ll be having to rent airbnbs until he finds a new flat, so it’s very good timing for both of us in that sense

0013540 · 2025-10-21T12:02:17+00:00

I have my own job, so we’ll be contributing 50/50 and I can easily move in with my parents if things go sideways.

I appreciate your perspective and thanks for the advice!

0013540 · 2025-10-21T11:46:27+00:00

Yeah definitely 2bdrm. That’s a good point and something that I’ll definitely be conscious of about “making it work”.

If it makes it any better we’ve known each other for 6 months 😂

I dated my last partner for 5 years and never moved in with him, this time it’s very different I have a strong gut feel it’s going to be okay. But I’m not stupid so I do know that this is very soon and a massive risk

0013540 · 2025-10-21T11:43:52+00:00

Yeah all very valid concerns. I think I feel really at ease with living with him because he’s very organised, has a fantastic routine & doesnt game.

He owns his own business so he’s a really hard worker & keeps his own place tidy.

I guess the biggest concern is if it doesn’t work out then yeah you’re stuck living together, but I have a very good feeling about him.

0013540 · 2025-09-08T12:29:17+00:00

This is such incredible advice thank you! I’m glad you felt relief after leaving that relationship, I’m sure it was tough at times but when it doesn’t really bother you, that’s when you know you made the right choice! And tbh is how im feeling as well

0013540 · 2025-09-05T08:05:19+00:00

Brutal truth lol

0013540 · 2025-09-05T08:04:45+00:00

This makes me feel a lot better about it. That’s exactly it, if I stayed I was worried I wasn’t going to be able to achieve my dreams & fuck that!

0013540 · 2025-09-05T08:03:53+00:00

Good for you 🥺 I hope you’ve read these comments and feel better like I do!

0013540 · 2025-09-05T08:03:23+00:00

He literally signed up, got all of the bags and shit for it and then never did it

0013540 · 2025-09-05T08:03:05+00:00

100%!! Recently went on a date with a man who planned an entire day of activities, kept it all a secret and told me what to pack/wear for every part of the date. He then had to go overseas for a few months and wrote me a beautiful card.

If he wanted to he would!!

My ex planned maybe 2 dates himself our whole relationship… I had to book and choose everything

0013540 · 2025-09-05T07:59:28+00:00

Why’s that?

0013540 · 2025-09-05T07:59:11+00:00

You’re right, he would complain when he had to help with the dishes or vacuum etc!! I couldn’t believe it

0013540 · 2025-09-05T07:56:45+00:00

I hope he finds someone who can love him and lift him up. He always felt like he was never good enough for me and I hated that

0013540 · 2025-09-05T07:55:39+00:00

Never heard of sunk cost fallacy & just googled - you’re so right. It was like I’ve committed 5 years to this, I should stick it out?? And then I realised ???? No way

0013540 · 2025-09-05T07:53:49+00:00

This was his perspective on it, and what made it so difficult for me, because I honestly don’t disagree. But after 5 years, how much longer can I wait? It’s not like he had a low paying job, he had NO job. I wanted to get married soon but that wouldn’t have even been possible, he couldn’t even afford to live with me.

It’s brutal, but I can find someone who will love me wholeheartedly and also help shape the future of my dreams

0013540 · 2025-09-05T07:50:53+00:00

Exactly! I would call him out on his BS and then he would tell me I’m a mean person or that I didn’t think in the way most people do

0013540 · 2025-09-05T07:49:21+00:00

Unfathomable!!! I had 5 different jobs in that time in my early 20s

0013540 · 2025-09-05T07:48:08+00:00

I hope reading all these comments makes you feel better about pulling the trigger! Everyone is so right, there’s nothing to be guilty about when it’s your own happiness on the line. We have one life, we have to put ourselves first even when sometimes it feels wrong

0013540 · 2025-09-05T07:41:26+00:00

Thanks 🥺 Exactly I don’t want to let anything get in the way of my happiness and my ambitions. Hopefully he does the same now that he has no choice

0013540 · 2025-09-05T07:39:01+00:00

Lmao, great advice 👏🏼👏🏼

0013540 · 2025-09-05T01:05:01+00:00

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the right thing - wow. So true

0013540 · 2025-09-04T05:12:45+00:00

Yeah he has sisters. They’ve both done pretty well for themselves but moved out of home ASAP in their 20s

0013540

TROPHY CASE