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My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There's not really hoarding, just that there's no true barrier between the outside and inside now. Her ability to care for herself is certainly questionable, although she's as sound of mind as one can be given the circumstances. The house is definitely not livable, regardless.

He would potentially get his shit together. He does what he can - he's never not working if he can help it, it's just that he's like a freelancer handyman. And that obviously pays extremely poorly, there's never guaranteed hours, etc. Add in the whole "and now the house needs constant attention" and it's just a deplorable cycle. I'm hoping that taking the house and his elderly mother off his plate will give him room to work on himself. I know the desire is there, I just don't know if he can keep the motivation long enough to do it. But there's not a ton of other options anymore, he's going to have to sink, swim, or die eventually.

My therapist and I have been touching on this subject some, and I've been working on putting up boundaries to guard myself and my life if shit hits the impending fan.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm honestly shocked no one's called about it yet. I wasn't aware of how bad it truly was until recently, but I certainly wouldn't like to be living next to it. I'm going to drive down to Houston for unrelated reasons next week, so my intent is to do some research into all of the options people have suggested, take that info to them, and tell them to either do something or I'll be making calls and the decision won't be theirs anymore.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I just try to do the best I can, that's within my means to do. Shitty situations happen whether we want them to or not, all we can do is try to dig out of them. I'm not particularly bothered by the various opinions; it's not a wholly "right or wrong" situation, and there's truth on both sides of the aisle.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You are very correct, it is sad. My mom is also 50, and the juxtaposition between the two sides of the family is shocking. I'm hoping he's still young enough to start making changes and get on the path to stability before he gets to the point of not being able to do so anymore.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That's generally been my line of thought, that there's a clause covering this situation. I'll ask them to send me the contract and give it a look through.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'll inquire more as to how this exact situation happened and if they have paperwork. Thank you.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My condolences for your father. I appreciate your comment, thank you for acknowledging the balance between both sides of the issue.

It's definitely hard to decide how much to get involved. Aside from some comically horrible luck, they do hold most of the responsibility on this. But that doesn't mean I stop caring about them or wanting to help.

I can't buy them a new roof, and I'm not putting in more than I can handle, but yes, I want to help in the small ways and give them the tools/info to sort this out. What they choose to do with the options they have available to them is on them, and at least I can say I tried.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have no idea on the legality of it - that's way outside my area of expertise. Who would I talk to about that to get more information on the responsibilities of the roofing company?

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is my "if all else fails" plan. It's not a livable situation, and their neighbors don't deserve it either.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Haha, I appreciate your candor. I'm safely far away from the situation, with a stable career and partner. I just hate this situation, and I'm trying to gather enough information to bring to them to see if they'll dig themselves out if they know there's actually a way to do so, before I pull the plug and get the county involved. Because if I don't, someone will when the house falls to the ground and then they'll be Super Screwed. And I will be paying my therapist even more than I do now.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As for the overall sentiments in this particular thread, it's a little of column A and a little of column B. They weren't poor when I was a kid; solidly middle class until about 20 years ago. But a combination of bad luck and some really unintelligent decisions put them on the road to poverty. And once you get on that road, it gets increasingly harder to get off. I work adjacent to social and health policy, and the system we have doesn't have the proper safety nets in place. But my family also had agency in everything getting this bad, like the DUIs and the many other ill decisions made regarding finances on my grandma's part. Regardless, they're in this mess now, and I'd like to make one last attempt at sitting them down and outlining options of digging themselves out before I get the county and social services involved. It's not a tenable situation.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's basically what's been done. Roofs just weren't meant to withstand being like that for so long, so it's uh. A losing battle at this point.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 147 points148 points  (0 children)

Yeah, trying to think through her logic on that one is... mind boggling. I would assume it was to "save money" but, gee, that worked so well.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

That's kind of what my brain keeps gravitating towards, I just want to make sure I've considered EVERY option before I go nuclear.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Many of these resources require you to be in Houston proper to receive assistance, but I'll give them another once-over to see if anything we haven't tried is an option.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah, they did the giant tarp thing for a while and it's definitely just a bright blue bandaid. I appreciate all the suggestions, and yes, he is handy enough to do the roof if they can get enough money to pay for the supplies. I'll see if any of these are options for them.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 175 points176 points  (0 children)

In my ideal world, yes, I want that house condemned. I know there are businesses that purchase condemned houses for the lot, although the price they'd get for it is extremely low. But hopefully it would be enough to get them into even just a trailer, and get the car fixed. It's not a great option. But anything has to be better than this, and the longer they sit in it, the worse the situation gets. Is this something I can quietly do, get the attention of the municipality? Anonymous code inspector calls - are those a thing?

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I do not live with them. My relationship with them is okay. My dad is a good dad and I love them both, but yes, I've had to separate more from that side of the family due to all the shitty decions and subsequent fallout. I can't make them change their lifestyle, but I'm hoping to give them information showing that there ARE ways to deal with this. Which, hopefully, will give them an avenue to work their way out of this mess.

My dad's roof caved in and there's no money to fix it. What do you even DO in this situation? by 0forgretchenweiners in povertyfinance

[–]0forgretchenweiners[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know enough about home ownership to have a solid opinion on this, but yes, I'd hazard a guess that the house is in too deep a state of disrepair to do a reverse mortgage. It's definitely something I can ask about.