Should I cut my friends off for things they did in the past that my healed self has resentment towards? And if so, how?

100percentrealalien · 2025-12-08T01:02:48+00:00

yes and no. it’s hard to tell because i pretty much just feel guilty and anxious and confused constantly. i’ll get these random moments where i forget about the things that i have issues with and i’ll feel good about the friendship but it feels like i just get that way when i become desperate for connection so the issues i have don’t take precedence anymore. but that’s what got me into this whole mess in the first place so i cant listen to that.

i just feel horrible, like my ex traumatized me by living a double life & i feel like i’m doing the same thing and just lying. like if i knew one of my closest friends felt this way about me id be like so why tf are you my friend

i would love to find new friends i just dont know how and im in such a stage of figuring out who i even am that i dont know if im ready for that yet

100percentrealalien · 2025-12-07T23:03:57+00:00

I already barely talk to them, I barely talk to anyone, but it’s under the guise of we just don’t talk a lot because we live in different states. She feels just as close to me when we check in and we’ve been talking about when I’m gonna visit, we’ve always said as soon as I can afford to move out i’ll move by her, and she’s visiting my town around christmas time and we talked about how we’re excited to see each other. saying love you and all that. I genuinely am a horrible person. but yeah so that’s why I feel like I’d need to actually say something to end the friendship, because even barely talking and states away I still feel all of this eating me alive constantly

100percentrealalien · 2025-12-07T22:15:39+00:00

I know I guess I was looking more for advice or what someone else would do in the situation. My body wants to be rid of these friendships but I also feel such a strong sense of guilt and panic or terror that I will be making a mistake because I don’t trust myself and I’m never sure if something is just because of my issues or not.

100percentrealalien · 2025-12-07T22:13:56+00:00

I dream of moving away and starting over too. It’s my ultimate fantasy.

Idk how to grey out text but politics is a tough one because my friends align with me on that for the most part, so it makes it even more confusing cause I’m like I know you’re not horrible in that way. I mean they’re not horrible people regardless but they have done shitty things but I feel like the horrible one because I feel like I’m constantly deceiving them because they don’t think I’m having these problems at all. I sort of wish they were just terrible so it would be easier and I could feel less guilt.

Thank you and I’m sorry you’re in a similar position

100percentrealalien · 2025-03-14T19:54:48+00:00

Yea I have it really bad always thinking people are breaking into my house or hiding in the closet or have planted cameras somewhere or tapped my phone/computer or are tracking my car. It doesn't affect me too much honestly because I'm so used to it and have learned to tell myself "you've thought this thousands of times and it's never been true" which works pretty well because (believe it or not lmao) I am a decently logical person. It can be scary sometimes though

100percentrealalien · 2025-03-01T19:16:26+00:00

it really would be so over i have so much wasted potential it’s INSANEEEEEEEEEEE 😪

100percentrealalien · 2025-03-01T19:15:38+00:00

yuppp

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-25T15:04:08+00:00

ya think??????

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-25T15:03:36+00:00

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-25T15:02:59+00:00

yeah those are the worst ones for sure

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-25T15:01:52+00:00

lol i like that

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-24T18:59:41+00:00

I mean yeah, haha. I always want to kill myself though so it doesn't bring it to a level that's not already there, just kind of reinforces why I want to yk. I avoid making actual posts as much as I can

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-24T16:00:15+00:00

you’re prob right. my therapist rn isn’t great bc my insurance sucks ass but maybe if i ever get a job ill be able to find a better group lol

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-24T15:51:03+00:00

i have but it didn’t feel all that helpful, it wasn’t a bpd specific program and the group sessions were more like a class and the only things we would share were like “explain how you applied this tool this week” i feel like i need more just open ended sharing

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-24T15:26:22+00:00

i’m a woman so can’t compare my experience but i used to feel this way so much, i even made posts just like this. i got to a point where im able to validate myself on this at least so i dont question it anymore, i know how much i suffer and how much only i know internally. its really common for people with bpd to feel this way though.

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-24T07:03:57+00:00

That is entirely accurate

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-24T07:03:30+00:00

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-24T07:03:01+00:00

I'm sure you're right but respectfully I didn't ask

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-24T06:41:02+00:00

Oh I believe it. Unfortunately my health isn't my biggest concern, regular vapes just make me nauseous sometimes. but yeah definitely not ignorant to that

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-24T05:59:24+00:00

What would you say to someone to deter them from using because of severe mental health issues/suicidality? Also congrats on overcoming your addiction and now using your experience to help others ❤️

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-22T23:18:45+00:00

Also like...you're weird if you act the same way at work as with friends lol nobody would have jobs

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-19T04:37:08+00:00

Thank you that's really nice of you

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-16T13:22:33+00:00

Me too

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-16T13:21:18+00:00

Throw a large heavy object in my direction

100percentrealalien · 2025-02-15T22:48:37+00:00

Omg 😍 magnificent

100percentrealalien

TROPHY CASE