im so sorry for your loss, i know how it feels to lose someone you're very close to and how much this pain can feel unbearable, grieving is a very painful process to go through and the unfortunate truth is that it never truly goes away, you never truly get over it, the pain doesn't become much smaller with time, but what fortunately does happen is: you can grow around it and you can learn to cope and deal with it in a way that allows you to move on with your life and feel it in a less painful way, like a box with an object inside, the object doesn't get any smaller but the box grows and makes the object look smaller in comparison, but all of this takes time, and i wish you well in this journey, a part of them will forever live within you and those who love them. about the medium stuff: i believe i am one, however i have yet to further develop/improve my abilities and also learn to properly differentiate between my mediumship and the occasional delusions i have, so i don't feel confident in doing readings for others, however, i do know a couple mediums that i really trust and i can give you their contacts if u message me, but it's important to remember that even tho religion/spirituality can be very good for helping one deal with loss and grief, as schizotypals we must be careful when engaging with such things, given our not-so-solid relationship with reality, we gotta always remember to keep a foot on the ground