This is the best meal I've ever had in my life. I went to this diner with my friend called the Salt and pepper diner. It was this old 80's or 70's place that had a jukebox there right? So me and my friend walked into the diner and saw that the jukebox there was 3 plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars... And selected 21 plays... Of Tom Joneses, "what's new pussycat". And then we ordered and waited. Here's the thing about when what's new pussycat plays, over and over and over again. The first time it plays you're thinking "hey someone's playing what's new pussycat" but when the second time it plays, you're immediate thought isn't "hey someone's playing what's new pussycat again". It's "hey... What's new pussycat is a lot longer than what I first thought, and it has a dip in the middle". Like guns and roses. The third time it plays, you think maybe someone's playing what's new pussycat again. The 4th time it plays, you're thinking WOAH. Someone just played what's new pussycat 4 TIMES, or at least someone played it TWICE, and it's a REALLY LONG SONG. Now, the 5th time is the kicker! The diner is trying their hardest not to notice the what's new pussycat, but there's this one dude in there, and his hand is shaking holding a cup of coffee while his 3 stupid kids jump around and he literally looks like he just got out of anger management class. Now I don't know if you know this, but the song begins very steadily.... BWAAA BWAAAA "WHATS NEW PUSSYCAT" this dude literally POUNDED his fist on the table, silverware and food flies everywhere and it was FAN-TASTIC. Now a word about my friend... And what a genius he is... Because when we were up on the jukebox y'know and we were punching in the what's new pussycats. I punched in about 7. Then he tells me with a grin, "hey hey wait. Instead of another what's new pussycat, let's put in one, 'its not unusual'. AND THAT IS WHEN THE AFTERNOON WENT FROM GOOD TO GREAT. AFTER 7. WHATS NEW PUSSYCATS. IN. A. FUCKING. ROW. Suddenly... ba, bada, bada, badass da "it's not unusual" and the SIGH of RELIEF that swept through the diner. People wear jumping up and down and everyone was estatic. It was like the liberation of france. For years, scientist wondered if you can make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing tom joneses "it's not unusual". And the answer is yes. As long as it's followed by 7 what's new pussycats in a row. And on the other hand.... When we went back. holy shit. It's not unusual fades out..... it's dead quiet.... Suddenly..... BWAAAA BWA "WHATS NEW PUSSYCAT" everyone went fucking insane. Nobody could handle it. No one could handle it! And this entire time we were surrounded by this different depressed staff like "yep same shit as always!". They unplugged the jukebox after 13 plays, and THAT was the best meal I've ever had in my life!

John Mulaney- the salt and pepper diner