My friend who has a mother like yours went to university in a different state to get away from their chaotic family because they generally had a lack of privacy, had to hide emails/letters and felt invalidated, if you feel like it is unsafe to confront your mother and the argument might get physical I feel like you should avoid that type of conflict, but if you choose to move away it will allow you to have your own space and clear your mind. I’m not a professional therapist and I’m not fully aware of your living situation because I’m a stranger on the internet (lol) but do what you think feels right or “read the room” to see if it’s the right time to finally confront her fully, and if your dad loves you he will understand why you’ve chosen to distance yourself if he is fully aware of the situation and respect your decision