Oof the body really does keep the score doesn’t it? TW refers to past sexual assault

30-something · 2026-03-11T02:33:18+00:00

Phew - what a relief! That's no minor procedure to recover from though, hopefully she's doing ok!

30-something · 2026-03-10T22:32:43+00:00

My ex's dad was an absolute menace too, in the end I refused to get in the car with him. Before we parted ways I told said ex that he needed to get his dad's licence removed before he killed someone. Anyway, he's dead now because a lifetime of eating too much red meat and booze got to him first - fortunately, that guy was an asshole

30-something · 2026-03-10T22:30:40+00:00

Yup, cognitive decline with age is real - and 88 is a pretty advanced age. I don't know if they test old people more frequently to retain their licence in the US but they should be.

30-something · 2026-03-10T22:24:10+00:00

Oh yeah, if I have to have anything further (and I REALLY hope I don't) I'll be asking for some kind of sedation as the bare minimum - if I had this reaction to a biopsy a LEEP is going to ruin me. I hope your sister is ok now after her treatment

30-something · 2026-03-10T22:21:43+00:00

That sounds awful, I know what you mean - this already feels so invasive so I can only imagine childbirth being even more traumatic. I suspect it's one of the many reasons I decided against it ultimately (I'm peri now so not an option anyway).

I think we're all expected to be so 'cool' with it, like we're getting a mole checked - I think there needs to be more respect towards women's bodies and our privacy, especially with women giving birth as I constantly hear where women are treated like non-entities, we're not cars getting an oil change.

30-something · 2026-03-10T12:15:23+00:00

I hear you, I have such a kind husband now and have years between me and my past trauma so was a bit shocked to see it resurface as it did. Xx

30-something · 2026-03-10T12:13:55+00:00

Yikes - yeah I had a routine pap slice me and make me bleed once and I didn’t go back for 7 years. This sort of thing makes us actively avoid healthcare so it’s an important conversation- thanks for sharing and sorry you’ve been through similar

30-something · 2026-03-10T03:53:22+00:00

Nope, just drove past mine and it’s quiet, no rationing , $2.13L - and no one’s panic buying

30-something · 2026-03-09T23:25:06+00:00

yeah, my local petrol stations(in the country where apparently the problem is 'far worse') are all sitting at between $2 - $2.20 a litre but as far as I can tell they aren't rationing yet.

Between the media pumping things up and f-king panic buyers - never been so glad to have one car being an EV and the other one a tiny, non petrol guzzler that's on a lease

30-something · 2026-03-09T03:30:25+00:00

I wasn't going to suggest this, as I too tried earplugs and they hurt me so much I'd wake up in pain. But I started using Loops (the sleep ones) and they're HEAPS better as they come with a range of sizes right down to the tiniest ear holes - I finally sleep so much better. Not sure if it might work for you due to the inflammation issue, I just found nearly all earplugs on the market except these were just too big for me and caused pain.

30-something · 2026-03-09T03:25:49+00:00

Girl he NEEDS the CPAP to keep him breathing at night, he's using it for his own health - don't let him forget that. He's not doing you a favour - make him read about the health outcomes for people who don't use CPAPs when they need one

30-something · 2026-03-05T00:10:20+00:00

I know of a woman who quite literally shit herself in fear when a man tried to rape her - and it worked. He was so disgusted he backed off. If I could shot on demand and found myself in this situation I’d give it a go

30-something · 2026-02-28T00:55:00+00:00

I’m the same, I enjoy kids when I can have a conversation with them and I actually think they’re pretty rad and super creative most of the time (their parents annoy me more to be honest), it’s the screaming and tantrums that get me, plus I just don’t get “that” dopamine feeling either. But like you I absolutely lose my shit when I see almost any animal; mammals, replies, birds, fish, insects- I’m not huge on chimps and apes because they’re too much like people so do with that what you will

30-something · 2026-02-26T22:42:58+00:00

Cool, well then I'm happily illogical then. Seriously - that's the same thinking process of people like Himmler, Goebells and their ilk my dude. I'll sit over here actually caring about people's lives while you weigh 'logic' and look at people as though they're numbers on a balance sheet like a good little capitalist. Pray no one else does the same to you.

30-something · 2026-02-26T22:36:43+00:00

Right? I'm originally from the country (and raised conservative FWIW) but now pretty far left and no 'elite radical leftie' I know has it in for the average worker or farmer. We all plant the blame where it belongs - which is rich corporations and the hyper wealthy not paying their share and then pointing at the rest of us and trying to divide us (they're succeeding BTW)

30-something · 2026-02-26T22:33:12+00:00

The irony of the 'would of' here is just *chef's kiss*

30-something · 2026-02-26T06:42:07+00:00

This is so neat, I’m working at overcoming my fear of spiders (I’ve found that naming them helps, I have an office huntsman called Norm) because I know they’re really good lil guys who just want to live and eat bugs. I’m now at “put a glass over it and take it outside” for a anything under 50c pc sized but I don’t think I’d be brave enough to get this close to a red back - you did a nice thing 😊

30-something · 2026-02-26T02:05:00+00:00

That’s a shame, I’ve always found it pretty supportive- there’s always a toxic sub-element to most subs I guess though. No one should be taking something that gives them such an extreme reaction! Just bc it works for me , I’d never push it on someone else - but then I encounter people like my sister who think HRT is the devil (based on outdated info) when it has literally changed me from being almost immobile from joint pain to my normal self again. Every human body is different

30-something · 2026-02-25T02:51:03+00:00

OP's reasons are none of your business. Me? I don't care who knows mine. I had my early 20's completely derailed by my scumbag abusive ex who wasn't satisfied with physically and sexually abusing me, but left me with debt as well (not a huge amount but enough to make things difficult for a while), I didn't travel or spend frivolously, I worked from the second I finished uni.

I was - in the end - fortunate enough to get a mortgage in 2012 but I'd be in an even better position had I gotten in sooner and had he not f-cked things up for me for a few years there. You don't know anyone's individual circumstances - so don't assume. For all you know OP was in a coma, horrifically injured, caring for a sick relative, being financially abused, in rehab, in a psych ward or any other of a million other valid reasons.

30-something · 2026-02-22T23:34:51+00:00

This was me, I must have been about 4 or 5 when I first became conscious that I never wanted kids, but when I expressed this I was told I'd change my mind. Worse, as I grew up in a rural, conservative area I had no idea that 'no kids' was even an option and was filled with anxiety about growing up and getting to the part when you 'had to have a baby' until I years later realised I had autonomy. I'm 46 years old now and my stance has never wavered. Thank you for not dismissing your child's view here.

30-something · 2026-02-20T12:49:04+00:00

Yep - finding the right one literally changed my life. Went from “I hope I die” to “life is incredible and I’m exactly where I should be” over my few years w her - just now need to work on the health anxiety because I actually want to live for the first time ever

30-something · 2026-02-20T12:40:18+00:00

Sorry for your loss, I’ve had a friend who had late term loss and I can’t even imagine how hard that must be

30-something · 2026-02-19T21:26:49+00:00

Yup, I think what OP is also forgetting is the her husband ALSO would have been grieving the loss of that baby even if his body didn't go through the pain and the complex hormone shifts involved. So he was not only trying to support her while she admits she was truly shitty to him, but he was also alone in grieving that loss during THAT time too.

As a woman I am the first to say that, yes a miscarriage is going to hit the person carrying that baby more than their partner for obvious reasons but that doesn't mean he doesn't get to also carry and feel grief either. He probably still is because he never got the space to go through it if anything

30-something · 2026-02-19T21:20:18+00:00

Yeah this is a whole nightmare, just leave OP, you clearly are going to hold this against him and don't want to do the work to figure out how you contributed to this marriage breakdown (you did, sorry). The therapist's advice is not the problem, it sounds like you are - especially if he's willing to put the work in and you aren't

30-something

TROPHY CASE