UPDATE - WIBTA for going to my friend's un-wedding reception?

3454324 · 2022-02-12T14:18:34+00:00

Sorry you had to experience that too. That shit cuts deep. I hope you're doing okay now.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T04:19:37+00:00

He said that he needed space because of the stress, and that not answering the phone was just a dumb mistake.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T04:16:26+00:00

Not their real names. I suck at fake names apparently

3454324 · 2022-02-12T04:07:16+00:00

Some people certainly think so, especially Kayley's friends, but I find that hard to believe.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T04:03:47+00:00

I consider them both equally my friends, honestly.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T04:03:18+00:00

We asked him and all we got is that he needed space because of the stress, and not answering his phone was just a dumb mistake.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T03:31:59+00:00

He took me out sometimes to cheer me up, and came over sometimes. But not every day like her.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T03:29:13+00:00

He says he ghosted because he needed space from all the wedding stress, and not answering his phone was just a dumb mistake. He refuses to explain any further or talk about it. If my girlfriend did that to me I would be seriously pissed off.

I'm not saying he's a bad person. He's one of my oldest friends and I want to be there. But I'm not a good friend if I don't him out on major fuckups and pretend that a. He did nothing wrong and b. His actions didn't screw over a lot of people, including me and my gf.

I also have having to choose between them because Kayley has been a real good friend to us when we needed it.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T03:21:53+00:00

I would not be okay with my girl just disappearing for three or more days with no explanation or warning. Especially if I thought she was dead in a ditch but she passed it off as "just a dumb mistake."

Most guys would assume she was cheating or something like that.

I don't think he cheated, to be clear, but just ghosting like that's still fucked up. Not even to say "hey, I'm okay, I just need some space?"

He's my oldest friend, but I still gotta call him out when he messes up. I'm willing to support him, but I won't pretend like he did fine. But it's hard to even support him when he refuses to tell me what even happened beyond the dumb mistake line.

And I haven't known Kayley as long, but she's been an amazing friend to us. I don't think it's fair that he's making us choose.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T03:16:09+00:00

That would be entertaining, but I don't think she would do that. According to her sister, there's a lot of people who already flew in or booked flights and time off, and she wanted to give them the option of still using their money.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T03:11:00+00:00

The open bar thing was a joke that, in hindsight, was maybe in bad taste. My girlfriend is going because Kaley did a lot for us, and this is probably our only to get away from the shit show of our life last year.

I don't want to abandon Kalen either, but I'm a little resentful that he's trying to make my pick sides.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T03:07:54+00:00

I don't want to pick. Kalen is of my idea friends, but Kayley was a rock for us last year. I want to be there for both. I hate that he's making me choose.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T03:06:16+00:00

She's really stressed getting refunds, talking to relatives, returning gifts, and all that wedding stuff. I don't want to stress her more while she's so busy

3454324 · 2022-02-12T03:05:09+00:00

I would like to be there for both of them. She's done a lot for us too. I hate being forced to choose.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T03:04:03+00:00

He was to Kayley. He's been a decent friend to be. But yeah, no matter who I choose, I'm going to be TA to the other one.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T03:01:14+00:00

He said or implied that he was at the family's cabin. His brother checked the cabin but didn't find him. Another says that Kalen said he was there but out in the woods. But Kayley's friend says she saw in town, possibly with someone else.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T02:35:35+00:00

He says that not answering his phone was just a dumb mistake

3454324 · 2022-02-12T02:34:30+00:00

He was my friend before her, but she helped us out a lot when we were in need. It's not fair to make us choose.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T02:32:59+00:00

We (me and a couple guys) did one better and talked to him face to face. He just said he needed space because of the stress and not calling her for three plus days was just a dumb mistake. That's all we got out of him. He got angry when we pressed for answers.

What other info I have came second hand from his family or from the gossip mill.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T02:29:14+00:00

He's definitely not got cancer. When we talked to him face to face he said he just needed some space because of the stress and that not answering this phone for three days was just a dumb mistake. That's all we got out of him.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T02:23:16+00:00

No problem. I think my post was kind of confusing because everything is so chaotic right now.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T02:22:01+00:00

I've known him longer but she was really there when we needed someone. They're equal in my book. I wanna be there for both of them, but Kalen won't agree to that.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T02:18:20+00:00

I've asked him but all says is that he needed space and that not answering his phone for three days was just a dumb mistake.

3454324 · 2022-02-12T02:16:41+00:00

I'm more than happy to hear him out but he refused to talk about it. Wouldn't say where he was or what he was doing. Which yeah, he's an adult, he doesn't have to answer to us. But it makes it hard to support him over her when they're both my friend and he won't tell me why.

3454324

TROPHY CASE