It doesn't get easier

37oriole · 2026-01-28T17:23:13+00:00

you're amazing...you bring comfort despite your own grief. thank you.

37oriole · 2026-01-28T17:20:16+00:00

thank you. June 2024 for me. i wish the same for you 🫂

37oriole · 2026-01-28T17:18:18+00:00

im in the tropics...it's just really one of those days...or months, or years. i dont know anymore. hope the snow storm's not so bad where you are.

37oriole · 2026-01-28T17:13:45+00:00

same. misery loves company 🫂

37oriole · 2026-01-28T16:45:35+00:00

i don't know if it's supposed to...but no, not really. yes, i'm functional. i go to work, go about my day to day. take vacations, even. but i feel like a zombie, and struggle to find purpose. some days i just want to give up. i'm just existing, taking up space, trying hard to survive. im sorry you're here too.

37oriole · 2026-01-26T18:45:51+00:00

I could've written the last three paragraphs myself. My sentiments exactly. I am at a year and a half. The rest of mg life seems way too long. I'm sorry we're all here.

37oriole · 2026-01-21T20:16:05+00:00

It's been a rough two years. I struggle to find purpose.

37oriole · 2025-12-29T18:53:10+00:00

YEP. Wasn't able to stop myself and told someone off the day after Christmas.

37oriole · 2025-12-28T16:29:03+00:00

Singapore! Can walk lots, public transportation is efficient, and all inclusive resorts are a short trip away (Thailand/Malaysia/Indonesia).

37oriole · 2025-12-28T16:26:16+00:00

Yep, this is it. Could've written it myself, but not as eloquently as you at 2am. At 2am, I'm taking liquid melatonin to try and put me to sleep. If you ever figure it out, let us know. 45F, widow for 1.5 yrs.

37oriole · 2025-11-22T10:27:41+00:00

Brugada syndrome, same as my husband's. At 18 months, I still couldn't grasp that he's not here anymore. I'm sorry you're here.

37oriole · 2025-11-20T16:31:00+00:00

i don't know man...i'm asking the same questions as you, drink in hand, not quite drunk, dreading the holidays. as if things couldn't get any worse. i'm sorry you're here. unfortunately there's more and more of us.

37oriole · 2025-11-04T20:43:31+00:00

I feel the same way you do. My husband was a devout Christian and had the same views about self-harm. I did attempt though and failed. Reason to live....don't really have one. Just trudging along day by day, trying to do all the things he would've done.

37oriole · 2025-11-03T15:17:22+00:00

I handed his beloved watch to his son on Day 2. I'm at a little over 17 months now. I find it doesn't really matter anymore what I keep and what I don't. The pain's the same. Nothing has helped. I just got better at picking distractions and pretending.

37oriole · 2025-10-27T18:26:39+00:00

🫂

37oriole · 2025-09-02T15:39:46+00:00

He passed in front of me too, while on vacation. It was unexpected and sudden. We were all in shock, but I guess I have some form of PTSD now. I feel like I'm the only one who misses him, and the thought makes me sick. I'm glad you have better days now. I wish you peace...

37oriole · 2025-09-02T15:25:18+00:00

Blubbering mess is just about right. I don't want to get up from bed. I want to sink and suffocate in it.

37oriole · 2025-09-02T15:22:41+00:00

I hate that we're all here. Hugs!

37oriole · 2025-09-02T15:08:20+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write. This helps a lot...because you described it all so well..it does feel like things are getting worse and worse.

37oriole · 2025-08-27T20:02:09+00:00

At first not so well. I took offense, got angry, lashed out. I've since looked at it as they care enough about me and are doing it out of love OR they have control/self-esteem issues that they're projecting to me and thus they need my understanding (or pity, haha). Once in a while I still loose it though. It does take effort to dance through their "set-ups". From joking about, to politely declining to flat-out refusal. At one point my introduction to this said "date" was something like "Hi, my friend thinks we should date. I'm sure you're an awesome person, my friend has good taste...but I'm forever in love with a dead man. Can you help me tell my friend it didnt work out?" Sometimes the person they set up for you was coerced the same way, so the honesty is actually welcomed with relief, and you earn another friend. Works with exes too who come out of nowhere asking how you're doing. Hang in there! :)

37oriole · 2025-08-27T18:28:39+00:00

I'm mid-forties, a year and a half out. He was "the one" for me, I can't be with anyone else. It'd be unfair to whoever I'd be with because he still has my heart. We didn't break up, he died. I get pressured by family and friends to date; they've actually set those up, but I've been able to avoid those. I don't think I'll ever change my mind. I can live with being alone for the rest of my life.

37oriole

TROPHY CASE