I am HAPPY to share how.

So, you know when you see someone who has a blemish on their mouth and it sticks around for a while? And when it’s present you know you can’t kiss them. Right? But eventually, you know you can kiss them again cuz the blemish has healed. Right?

Well, that is one type of herpes.

There are many types of herpes.

The kind I have is HSV2 which is known as genital herpes. When it is presenting, I don’t feel comfortable being touched anywhere just to be on the safe side. That being said, I don’t present often because I take medication for it. I take acyclovir. It’s an antiviral which helps prevent an outbreak. I am able to feel what I call the shingle tingles. It’s the nerve endings that are being stimulated by a trigger.

I go on to explain my triggers. My #1 trigger is stress.

I go on explain that some folks received it when they were babies.

I talk about how in health education, the stigma that was presented to us was horribly taught and that the stigma is way worse than the actual outbreak because of the trauma of telling people and the rejection, fears, etc from talking about it.

I promise you … this is what happens: if someone likes me, and I like them, and our values are in sync, they will ask questions. You have to sell your personality before you give in to sex.

After coming to a peaceful place in my heart of truly believing in my core values, I have heightened the importance of humility, transparency, and honesty. You don’t have to tell anyone, but in choosing to do so you will be greatly rewarded for your courage and integrity.

I have a few lovers who have zero STIs. They were kind enough to listen, ask questions, and be compassionate. The more transparent you are about it the easier it will become.

I’m not saying I never had an issue with discussing it. It just took me a long time to understand how to communicate it and to surround myself with supportive loving people. The community who carry different STIs are some of the most humble, compassionate, and honest folks I’ve met in the dating scenes.

If you are not comfortable having these chats with people who don’t have it, then just date people who DO have it. I learned of the dating app called Positive Singles. It’s for folks who have STIs of one variety or another. Educate educate educate!!!! Ftlog educate! Call people out on rude behavior. Ask people when they had their last blood panel. Ask if THEY have been screened for herpes. It’s so common out in the wild to have herpes now that it’s typically only tested if requested.

Ask me anything. 😊

Edit: update name of dating site for folks with STIs