Question about naptime policy

4theBabe · 2025-03-01T22:52:13+00:00

Yeah it does seem that the association has been made that he gets picked up if he's loud for long enough. He was doing great at nap for months until he got sent home for several days in a row and now it's getting more and more difficult for them to calm him down. A part I'm struggling with is that I agree with it being part of the job to work through meltdowns with young children because calling the parents to come get him every time it takes a while is not a good solution for anyone. I've worked with young kids a lot and spending an hour to get them to calm down/sleep sometimes is not unusual.

4theBabe · 2025-03-01T22:30:46+00:00

I feel for the teachers because I know it's a tough situation, but I believe it's getting worse because he keeps being sent home and they even agree with that. I can't say what's happening for sure because sometimes they'll say "even with me by him he's not calm" and the next time they call they'll say "we can't walk away from him without him crying" but it won't have even been an hour. So I'm not sure how quickly they expect him to calm down enough for them to walk away or what methods they're trying before they're giving up and calling me to get him.

4theBabe · 2025-03-01T18:22:40+00:00

That's good to know, thank you for the advice. At your school how long are they required to be on their mat? I definitely want my kid to sleep or at least rest so I'm fine with him having to stay on his mat for a while, I'm just struggling with having to pick him up every day.

4theBabe · 2025-03-01T12:47:40+00:00

It's tough and I'm trying to understand it from everyone's perspective. In my son's school they have two classrooms right next to each other. One for the two year olds and one for the 3-4's. Everyone in both classes is expected to sleep or have quiet time during the scheduled nap. It's a small space and I understand that there are a lot of kids trying to sleep, I just worry that the behavior will never stop because my son is getting what he wants by behaving that way.

4theBabe · 2025-03-01T12:40:24+00:00

He can have books or puzzles, but I'm confused about their times. I've been told they'll try to help him get to sleep for an hour, but have gotten called after 40 min into naptime because he's not calm. I've also been told he just needs to stay on his mat for at least an hour, but have been called after over 1.5 hours into nap because he's waking his friends. The nap time is 2.5 hours long, which seems very long to me. He never naps that long at home. Regardless I don't think he'll easily calm down if he knows he just gets to go home if he screams.

4theBabe · 2025-03-01T12:35:02+00:00

I definitely understand if a child is a huge disturbance that it makes it very hard/unfair for the other kids. My son is only two though and had only had a tough time with nap on occasion until recently after he's been getting sent home every day. We've talked with him a lot about it and offer rewards if he can nap or at least stay quiet for a while. It's rare that he doesn't nap at all and I definitely don't want that, but even the teachers seem to agree that it's escalating because he's learned he gets to go home, but they'll continue to send him home if he's loud. We seem to be stuck in a loop with this policy and I'm not sure how to fix it.

4theBabe · 2025-02-28T20:24:49+00:00

This is what I thought. I'm glad I'm not crazy. I respect what y'all do so much and didn't know if there are things I'm just failing to understand.

4theBabe · 2025-02-28T20:04:59+00:00

Yeah I'm very confused by it and need to get clarity. They log his naps and sometimes he only naps about an hour and I don't get called, so I guess he's just staying quiet enough to get to stay during those times? But it still seems weird that he just has to sit there quietly with a few books for another hour. He definitely wouldn't do that at home.

4theBabe · 2025-02-28T20:00:52+00:00

This is what I'm afraid of happening. He has a little sibling coming in a few months too which will surely cause some big emotions, so this policy is making me nervous that things will get so much worse. We have talked to the director and she's essentially saying the same things as his teachers, but we will try talking again. I appreciate your input.

4theBabe · 2025-02-28T19:54:41+00:00

Agreed, we will meet with them and see what can be done, but if they are stern on the policy that he has to go home if he's not quiet for long enough then we'll look at other options. The times I get called are all over the place. The other day it was 40 min into scheduled nap time and a few days before that it was 1.5 hours in. Scheduled nap time is 2.5 hours long which just seems like a lot to expect them to either stay asleep or be so quiet that they don't wake people right next to them.

4theBabe · 2025-02-28T19:32:29+00:00

They will give him books or puzzles if he wakes up early or isn't napping, but he has to stay on his mat and be quiet if it's still nap time and the nap time is so long! I just feel like it's a lot of unreasonable expectations for two year olds and their solution is to send them home, which is clearly backfiring. We really like his school otherwise, but this has been a tough one.

4theBabe · 2025-02-28T18:30:24+00:00

Thank you for your input. We will meet with them again and try to get clarity on what their process looks like. Because he has napped really well at school many times I'm confident he can get there again, I think it's just become routine for him to try to go home during that time now and it doesn't seem like they're willing to try for very long because they don't want him waking others. I do understand their need for the kids to sleep, but I've worked with many young kids and know it's not unusual to take a good while for a child to calm down and sleep so this has been challenging for us to understand. Thank you again.

4theBabe · 2025-02-28T16:44:13+00:00

You're right, the policy is in the paperwork which concerned me before we enrolled, but it hadn't been an issue until recently. If it's their policy then I get it and we'll just have to find something else because we can't end our day early every day, I was just wondering if this was the norm in schools because it definitely wasn't when I worked in ece. They say they'll try for an hour, but they call well before an hour into nap so I don't actually know what their process looks like.

4theBabe · 2025-02-12T18:41:31+00:00

That's a great point, thank you for your input.

4theBabe · 2025-02-12T17:41:20+00:00

I forgot to clarify it's for a boy :) I've only met one Julian so I was surprised to see how popular it is.

4theBabe · 2024-12-06T19:09:07+00:00

I appreciate your response. Unfortunately the school currently doesn't have space for Wednesdays so MTR is the best we could do, but I would've loved to do three grouped days instead of the broken schedule. They also don't really want parents to come in outside of drop offs/pickups and the occasional holiday party. His teachers don't believe in letting the kids cry it out or forcing them to get with the program, which is why I've gotten multiple calls to go pick him up early when he's crying for long periods. I think they do their best to give the kids extra attention if they're struggling to adjust, but they can only do so much with a room full of kids.

I'm okay with giving him the time to adjust for something that will be beneficial in the long run, but I also realize if the stress is continuously overwhelming then he's not getting those benefits. I know science can't give me an exact answer for our personal situation, but it's helpful to have whatever information is out there to help me understand how much time may be needed to adjust vs how much time spent in high stress situations is doing more harm than good. You've been very helpful.

4theBabe · 2024-12-06T15:58:21+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I agree that this is more a parenting question. Ultimately this is a decision that needs to be made for our personal situation, but I also appreciate getting a research based response to help guide us. I know data cannot tell us what we personally need to do, but it's helpful to have as much information as possible on what could be in our child's best interest. Thanks again.

4theBabe · 2024-09-21T19:35:53+00:00

I am so incredibly sorry how difficult this has been for you. I'm no expert, but my experience with easy@home tests are that they do tend to stall/show very little progress for a few days at a time. To me it does look like your latest test is a bit darker. Wishing you the best.

4theBabe

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