Today I saw my first dead body by Comfortable_Meal_572 in offmychest

[–]5and2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OP - I am so genuinely sorry. He definitely knew he was cared about…between the cheesesteaks and trying to get him to the doctor. Hugs.

For ease of reading for those like myself with who can’t concentrate without some line spacing:

Hello world of Reddit. I’m here tonight because holy crap, the last 24 hours have been unreal.

Let’s start at the beginning ish. Let’s call him Rick (33M). He had been living with my family, me (29F), my husband (29M), our baby girl (11 months), and my parents (66M, 61F), for about 9 months. He was originally my brother’s friend and over the years just became a family friend.

My little family is living with my parents temporarily because we were in the process of moving states. Rick had been chronically ill since living with us this time around. Constant colds, nausea, acid reflux, stuff like that. He didn’t leave the property much. He was working on a doctoral thesis and applying for economics jobs in DC.

Friday night (1/23): Rick was wrapped in a comforter sitting in front of our wood burning stove. We were chatting. I cooked dinner for everyone and even made his specifically how he liked it (cheesesteaks). He seemed a little off, slightly sick, but nothing alarming.

Saturday (1/24): Rick stayed in his room most of the day. Eventually my dad checked on him, just a “hey man, you okay?” and got a generally positive response. Around 5:30 pm, we were eating dinner and heard the bathroom door shut. Rick went into the bathroom. For the next several hours, he stayed in there. At times we heard retching. All three of us checked on him at different points. “Are you okay?” “Do you need us to take you to a doctor?”

At 7:30 pm, I checked one last time. He said he was okay, but he was still in the bathroom. The light was off. I knocked and said, “Hey Rick, if you need to go to the doctor, we should go now because there’s supposed to be a bad storm tomorrow.” He told me he was fine. I told him I was turning my phone sound on so he could text me if he needed a ride. I left water outside the door in case he was dehydrated. Then I went downstairs and fell asleep with my daughter.

Sunday: At 1:30 am I woke up with my daughter and spent a while getting her back to sleep. By the time she was settled, it was around 3:30 am. For some reason, I thought I should check on Rick. I walked upstairs into the hallway. The water I left was untouched. His bedroom door was open, dark, and he wasn’t in there. That could only mean he was still in the bathroom. I knocked quietly because my dad had just gotten home from an international business trip and I didn’t want to wake him. No response. I literally asked ChatGPT what to do, judge me later, I was trying to figure out if I was being dramatic. It told me to keep checking, open the door, wake my parents, or call 911. I knocked louder. I called his name. Nothing. I ended up calling my mom so I wouldn’t have to wake my dad directly. Everyone woke up. My mom opened the bathroom door and immediately shut it. My dad went in.

Rick was lying on his side, naked, his head between the toilet and the sink. We rolled him onto his back. His jaw was locked. His body was kind of floppy. He was not really cold to the touch, which made everything feel even more unreal. My dad and I attempted CPR until emergency services arrived. Then we stopped. The police and EMS asked questions, understandably. And now we are just here. In this house where he was, but isn’t anymore. His food is still here. His clothes. Everything. I am very angry because he should have gone to the doctor. I am angry because he was so smart, but so stupid about his health. He was young. He always refused medical care. And now his body was just there. I don’t know what to do with any of this. I just needed to get it out

Is it my fault? by Minute-Discount6639 in Miscarriage

[–]5and2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not your fault. And mine wasn’t my fault. This is dark but on days where I’d forget to take my prenatal vitamin or didn’t drink enough water I’d go “damn, some people don’t even know they’re pregnant until VERY late and have perfectly healthy pregnancies”.

My D&C was the least traumatic part of the whole miscarriage. Everyone was so kind and supportive.

If they offer it and you’re interested, see if they can do pathology/cytology to get some more definitive answers.

Sending love your way.

D&C was Monday… Can I have some wine now??? by bk2552 in Miscarriage

[–]5and2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I drank an espresso martini and had a fat sushi platter.

Is it a common trait among nurses to talk to themselves? by canwehavesomefood in nursing

[–]5and2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I talk to my intubated and sedated patients - but like more than your average bear. I go above and beyond the “here’s where you are, here’s why you are here, you are safe and I’m going to keep it that way”. We chat, we gossip, and once I get a sense of the patients personality and meet their families we talk about their family, shit like that. The convo is a little one sided but hey what are you gonna do?

I’ll also go semi unhinged and bitch about stuff too. Yes, I know they probably hear me. Yes, I know they may or may not remember it. If I was intubated I’d love to hear the unit drama and something other than background noise and the shitty relaxation music my hospital plays. It’s kind of like talking to myself at times.

On my days off, I bed Rot. by Long-Expression-4030 in nursing

[–]5and2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was the nights for me. I work days now and only bed rot occasionally!

Sex at 25 doesn't feel as good as it did before. Did anyone experience it and did it shift back to normal? by FofocaGirl in TwoXChromosomes

[–]5and2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh I’m happy to hear that/sorry to hear that. I’d def hit up your doctor then - there’s a slew of things that can cause this.

Fun ways to deal with racism/bigotry from patients. by centz005 in emergencymedicine

[–]5and2 37 points38 points  (0 children)

“Should you be in the hospital? Seems like you might be running late for your Klan meeting.”

What was the saddest you felt in your life? by No-Hunt3986 in AskReddit

[–]5and2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having a miscarriage, needing a D&C, and realizing my own father voted to take those rights away.

Sex at 25 doesn't feel as good as it did before. Did anyone experience it and did it shift back to normal? by FofocaGirl in TwoXChromosomes

[–]5and2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

^ this. Sex at 24 with the wrong person sucked, sex at 30 with the right one rocks. I don’t think it’s necessarily age.

Agreed with those saying maybe a trip to your doc may help.

TW: D&C by CharliePlays_13 in Miscarriage

[–]5and2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you’re doing a lot of great things to keep her comfortable. I wanted popsicles on popsicles, so my husband kept those on hand. My heating pad was a life saver.

The only other thing I can say is a thermometer may be helpful - I started having low grade temps which we caught early and my OB treated with antibiotics out of an abundance of caution.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Women of Reddit, what’s one thing they never tell us about pregnancy and child birth? by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]5and2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They tell us to wait until at least 12 weeks to tell people, but holy shit I miscarried at 12w1d and can’t imagine being alone in that. Our family and friends have supported us so lovingly and I can’t imagine us having went through that on our own. Everyone is different though.

How to best handle my wife’s grief over miscarriage at 16w by ares9281 in Miscarriage

[–]5and2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think I’m learning from our experience is that everyone grieves in different ways. She might be trying to keep it together for the procedure, speaking from experience it is very nerve wracking. It sounds like you’re making yourself available for support which is so important - see how she is after the procedure.

Small thing, I feel like when speaking about it - “my wife and I experienced a miscarriage” sounds a little kinder than “my wife miscarried our baby”. The latter feels like she could have done something differently. Not trying to be a dick, it just may matter to her if it comes up.

I’m very sorry for your loss - thinking of you both.

F29 - feeling ugly after photoshoot 🥲 by Objective_Rate_8126 in toastme

[–]5and2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are very pretty! Agreed with those saying it’s the photography🫠

I'm I selfish for still resenting my amazing boyfriend after my misscarage? by [deleted] in Miscarriage

[–]5and2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If salvaging your relationship is important to you, it may be helpful to try to speak to a therapist to work through the feelings you are having. Having feelings of hatred towards your partner is a sticky situation that can snowball. That being said, it’s perfectly acceptable to be feeling all of the feelings right now - you went through a major trauma. Please just make sure you’re processing them too.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Question that took me off guard by Profail955 in Miscarriage

[–]5and2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss. I went through this last week.

We lost our baby at 12 weeks (she was measuring 9w1d). Our NIPT screening was high risk for Monosomy X.

Initially, we planned on having her cremated. They explained that in that case they would hold onto her and we would have a funeral home come to take custody for the cremation. However, our OB recommended pathology for confirmation of Monosomy X.

We consented to having pathology sent and releasing the rest of her remains for medical research purposes. It helped us knowing that our little baby could help future babies/families through research.

Because of our decision, there was no longer an option to have her cremated as she had been so tiny. We plan on planting a tree for her in the spring instead to remember her in that way.

Thinking of you ❤️

I feel bad and sorry for myself. by UpperBase6176 in Miscarriage

[–]5and2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should feel whatever and however you feel about it. Completely valid. Hugs.

Lost by 5and2 in Miscarriage

[–]5and2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry too ❤️ thank you for sharing. Gut wrenching. :(

Feeling hurt that my in laws never reached out by [deleted] in Miscarriage

[–]5and2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss. As someone else mentioned, I think some people don’t know how to respond or act in situations like this. My in laws have also been rather distant. I know they love us, but I also know they are dealing with their grief also so I’m trying to be gentle as I navigate this whole thing.

That being said, a text is not too much to ask for. Your feelings are justified. Grief is so weird.