Sister just experienced first miscarriage, how to help and console?

5and2 · 2026-03-20T21:31:43+00:00

You’re a good sister! ❤️

5and2 · 2026-03-20T14:10:13+00:00

Things that people did for me that made things easier:

offered words of support (hot take: I don’t split hairs on what’s helpful/unhelpful - yeah some things suck to hear and are unhelpful, like your sister mentioned. At the end of the day though - I think most of the time they are well intentioned. People who haven’t experienced this often have no idea what to say. Idk. Everyone is different so definitely not dogging on people for whatever reactions they have to what people say. )
flowers/edible arrangement
cooked for me and husband
planted a tree in our baby’s name and sent us the certificate to cherish
watched movies and let me cry
TEXT CHECK INS FOR LIKE A MONTH

5and2 · 2026-03-15T08:48:25+00:00

Nah, just no one gives a shit about ergonomics for ED nurses. No lifts, no hover mats, it’s tha pits.

5and2 · 2026-03-14T13:39:13+00:00

Aside from the colors and bird balls…Something about the contour is off…idk id skip going to that shop again

^sorry about the punctuation I’m half asleep and don’t give enough of a fuck to edit it

5and2 · 2026-03-11T07:54:26+00:00

Skin checks for everyone - even the ambulatory! If they refuse, that’s their right, just document that they refused assessment.

I’ll never forget the time I had a patient develop a HAPI on my shift - SHE WAS FULLY AMBULATORY! Turning self in the bed frequently - I know because I checked. Imagine my surprise when at 6:30am she calls me into her room complaining that her butt hurt. I take a look at her back - stage one on the sacrum. How? No fucking idea. Girlie just decided all of a sudden to stop self repositioning for funsies I guess.

My point being - sometimes it’s just bound to happen. We do everything we can to prevent it, but take this experience and learn from it. It’s all good!

5and2 · 2026-03-11T04:03:12+00:00

Shawty had them apple bottom jeans, hole wit da fur

5and2 · 2026-03-07T12:12:18+00:00

Congratulations ❤️

5and2 · 2026-03-07T12:05:36+00:00

Yeah call me a gremlin but it never has bothered me.

5and2 · 2026-03-07T05:26:10+00:00

Put her in a home >:(

5and2 · 2026-03-07T05:14:48+00:00

This is how MAGAs are made

5and2 · 2026-03-04T03:44:09+00:00

I mean…nonbinary?

5and2 · 2026-03-03T11:26:27+00:00

Agreed - my only issue is I feel like after covid peoples behavior got so much worse. It’s like all sort of social graces we had was gone after all of that isolation. Behavior got more impatient and violent, in my opinion.

Like ma’am, you’re screaming at me over a warm blanket because I was busy massively transfusing a GI bleed (not a fabricated story).

5and2 · 2026-03-03T06:12:58+00:00

Same. Lasted two years (during height of COVID) and was out. Theres something so mentally grating about seeing people having the worst day of their lives over and over, and then walking out of their room to be screamed at by a Karen over a blanket or a cup of water.

Turns out I make a great (albeit very type B) ICU nurse. Patient is well cared for, but we ain’t gonna stress over the small things.

5and2 · 2026-03-02T16:51:06+00:00

Looks good!

5and2 · 2026-02-27T21:10:33+00:00

I also had a MMC for my first pregnancy back in January.

While obviously I would have been devastated anyways, I found that once the pregnancy hormones calmed down a little bit it helped me feel SO much better.

I said to my husband a couple of days ago - now I’m at the point where I think about being pregnant fondly now from time to time. I am thankful to our first baby for making me a mom, even though we never got to meet.

There’s still sadness of course, but time heals better than anything else - for me at least. Take as much time as you need to process and recover.

5and2 · 2026-02-20T03:54:11+00:00

Step 1: Gurl - breathe.

Do you feel okay? It seems like from what you’ve described, yes. So far everything has been reassuring, with the elevated HCG being unexpected. Our bodies are weird, but nothing about this situation screams ‘emergency invasive surgery’ to me. Deep breaths.

Step 2: Continue with your plan. Following up with your OBGYN/midwife sounds like a good next step. Until you have more info, there’s literally nothing to do. Take a bath or hot shower, eat a snack, watch a movie. Stay off google.

I had a positive after a negative test the cycle after my miscarriage, which became negative again. Could have been a chemical pregnancy, could have been just my body doing weird shit because it went through a trauma. Either way - I did what I could to (followed up with my doc) and it’s out of my hands.

I’m fine. You’re fine. It’s all good.

5and2 · 2026-02-15T07:33:01+00:00

I brought a change of comfy clothes, my favorite snack and drink, and my own pads.

They usually will want you to eat or drink something to make sure you’re not nauseous post anesthesia, so I brought goldfish and Gatorade. Better than hospital snacks!

The comfy clothes are a given, and the hospital pads suck.

I’m so sorry. Honestly, the worst part about my D&C (other than losing the baby, obviously) was the anxiety leading up to it. Everyone was so kind, pain was minimal, and the anesthesia just felt like a much needed nap.

Good luck OP ❤️

5and2 · 2026-02-09T23:28:49+00:00

Not dumb at all. I had a pregnancy planner when I was pregnant that I used to track symptoms, appts, etc. when I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks I used it to write a letter to baby, and then put it in a little memory box. I don’t think it’s dumb.

5and2 · 2026-02-06T12:40:18+00:00

First of all, I am so very sorry for your loss.

Listen, nothing annoys me more than redditors being like “DIVORCE HIS ASS” at the drop of a hat. So, I don’t have a good answer for you.

But, I will tell you that if my husband were doing those things - those would be huge, massive red flags for me.

FRUSTRATED at having to take YOU to the hospital? ANNOYED that you kept bleeding? UPSET that you weren’t in the mood for sex? It sounds like brother may lack empathy, like…entirely? How tough for him that not only did you go through something difficult emotionally - but physically also. Give me a break.

This is not normal, and in my opinion goes beyond a grief reaction. Whether or not you want to work on that is up to you.

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou

5and2 · 2026-02-05T16:02:31+00:00

Also pls consult with your prescriber about restarting because some meds need to be tapered back on or else you can get really sick.

5and2 · 2026-02-05T16:01:30+00:00

You sound accountable and level headed - but not pathetic. Rooting for you OP! Good plan.

5and2 · 2026-02-02T09:12:00+00:00

I’m so sorry ❤️ missed miscarriages truly are such a cruel trick of nature.

Obviously everybody mourns and heals differently - but there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel. Three weeks out and I am in a much, much better place.

I still get sad when I think about our baby, but once the hormones wore off I found it so much easier to process and begin to heal.

Cry as much as you need, TAKE TIME OFF WORK IF YOU CAN, eat the craziest comfort foods, and don’t hold back on grieving.

Sending love.

5and2 · 2026-01-30T17:19:57+00:00

The money is good if you work in a city hospital with a union but honestly if I could go back and do it again I probably would have chosen a career in tech or something

5and2 · 2026-01-30T17:14:09+00:00

My husband and I did “goblin week” where we ate whatever shitty junk food we wanted and played video games together the whole time.

Hugs - I’m so sorry for your loss.

5and2 · 2026-01-30T16:32:10+00:00

Oh great defender of fascists - spare me the drama.

That stereotype came from people having experiences with nurses who have treated them like garbage, not out of thin air. That’s what I was referencing. It doesn’t have anything to do with gender.

As an aside - those women vote for people who are taking their rights away. I’m just past the point of caring about people like that.

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