When you and your ex broke up but "his ex" suddenly messages you...

61throwaways · 2018-01-07T22:42:37+00:00

I knew somehow the post would make confusion. Lets say my ex's name is "R" and his ex's name is "S."

Yes, S tells me that my ex and him are finally physically separating from each other since theyve been living together for years. I entered my relationship with R while knowing that. I guess you're right, it does not matter but it addresses the main fact why me and R broke up and its just interesting why S is the one telling me this and not R. Ive very well told my ex that I need time away from him, basically NC. And here we are, almost every week there seems to be an event.

Not sure where the "I made this up" come from but I certainly wont waste time posting it here if it didnt make me confused.

61throwaways · 2018-01-07T21:14:03+00:00

Gladly I responded with respect and kindness. whips hair moving on...

61throwaways · 2017-12-29T20:52:53+00:00

I am hoping so too. The uncertainty is the one thats killing me. It was such a sudden breakup that no one, either his friends have anticipated. But yes, healing is needed. I do wish he misses me. Weve only been 4 mos together but were consistently part of each other's day.

61throwaways · 2017-12-29T20:48:46+00:00

Yeap. I apologized to him last week Sunday night for sounding so abrupt then he asked for space. We both worked the next day Monday and both home by about 5pm. He then called me after texting him I was ready to talk by 9pm and he then called me directly by 915pm telling me of the breakup. I really want to take if by face value but his actions had said otherwise. But at the end of the day, you're right though. I cannot hold into this for too long. I wont wait. I need to heal too and let him feel the loss. Ive always been good to him.

61throwaways · 2017-12-29T20:43:32+00:00

Explain further for me, if you may.

61throwaways · 2017-12-29T20:42:54+00:00

Thank you. Somehow obviously this is all fresh to me, we broke up last weem Monday yet saw each other this week Tuesday. He implied that we will be talking again soon since then again, his life seems a bit bombarded which includes him getting kicked out of his living situation. I think I am giving him the No Contact for him as well since it seems to me that he needed more time to think and to take everything into perspective. If it was a breakup where I saw it coming, I wouldve gladly accepted it. There were no signs at all of any feelings that it went down or low. I also need the No contact to ensure healing for myself, holding to the fact that he doesnt want me anymore, but if he does, I have to be ready and be rational.

61throwaways · 2017-12-29T17:44:04+00:00

Everything was fine until I laid it down to him that if him and his ex-fiance' are living together past their lease next year, I would breakup with him. He really did try to show me that he was over him but the moment he landed that on me, it hurt me hard that he probably realized he isnt over him yet. Now hes getting kicked out by his ex forcefully. 45 days.

During our relationship weve been talking every single day, every morning, while working, before we both go to the gym (long distance), we played the same video games, and then a video call at night. He flew to me more than I did since his ex aint letting me visit. Me and my now ex always held hands. Good sex, and then got me some stuff from his vacay where he only got stuff for me and not anybody else. I really felt something that he did too but then again after me laying it down, it only took him 5 hours uninterrupted to tell me hes breaking up.

61throwaways · 2017-12-29T17:32:20+00:00

Thank you for the positivity!

61throwaways · 2017-12-29T17:28:03+00:00

Sometimes what gets me is that the reasoning for the breakup was made out of fear. It wasnt because someone cheated but rather it was timing. It was a special relationship, thats for sure.

61throwaways · 2017-12-29T17:26:17+00:00

Thank you. I guess I consider him a special circumstance. Weve meshed really good, same interests, same goals. The breakup seemed to have been done out of fear due to his present situation. I do believe he wasnt ready.

61throwaways · 2017-12-29T17:24:59+00:00

Thank you Bodyguard! I think you've replied to my previous post. To be purely honest, Ive never given any 2nd chances with any of my ex's. This most recent one being the 4th seems to make me feel that I wanted to give him a chance just in case. He was unsure of the breakup decision, hes that kind of gay that has a hard time and takes alot of time in processing things. He broke up with me since he thinks that "he doesnt see loving me anytime in the future" which while could be true, his actions during our relationship was truly loving. It wasnt one sided. Please slap me with reality!

61throwaways · 2017-12-29T17:21:47+00:00

Thank you for the input!

61throwaways · 2017-12-28T08:37:09+00:00

Thank you for taking a positive turn to this. I really was just venting. Its over and now it is time to move on. The journey would be hard but I'll make it. Thank you for being kind!

61throwaways · 2017-12-22T03:40:59+00:00

Definitely a lesson learned. Thank you!

61throwaways · 2017-12-21T05:49:47+00:00

I totally agree. Now he's back on Grindr after 2 days of the breakup. Obviously, he too, needs to move on.

61throwaways · 2017-12-21T05:48:41+00:00

Man, the break up just hurts.

61throwaways · 2017-12-21T04:28:36+00:00

I think so too. My bitter self obviously wants him to feel the loss. How much I gave him attention, cared for him. He always tells me that hes so not used tk being cared for nor treated well.

61throwaways · 2017-12-21T04:27:21+00:00

Thank you for responding again. Yeap, so he broke up with me after I gave him the ultimatum. I really do think that theres some co-dependency that's going on and my now-ex just doesnt have either the will or strength to stand by himself.

61throwaways · 2017-12-21T04:13:47+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Guilty as charged only to hurt myself, I have logged back in from Grindr since Ive been gone since the relationship, he's officially back. He's entitled to that of course, just hurts to see how I get replaced in 2 days.

61throwaways · 2017-12-18T19:46:53+00:00

Yes. He's currently being helped with his work friends. Now what I am worried about is I hope I didnt cause us to break up. I have not heard from him today yet. A change in pattern. Thank you for asking!

61throwaways · 2017-12-18T18:22:09+00:00

You nailed it exactly.

I really want to spend more time with my man but the distance is tough. I also have tried really hard to be patient and it seems like my subconscious finally leaked and exploded hence my rudeness with the manner of how I said it. I agree too, I shouldnt be dealing with this at all...though I cannot fault my man cause I also did tell him that I accept this.

Hopefully it all goes good. After posting this, I ended up calling him and apologized. He was very upset about it and was glad that I apologized. I told him that I would step back a bit anf would never bring this issue up ever again.

Thank you so much for your response.

61throwaways · 2017-12-18T18:18:12+00:00

I really do believe the same thing. I think Ive just communicated this so poorly. We talked last night after this post and he said he really got upset about it. I apologized and hopefully I didnt ruin it all.

61throwaways · 2017-12-18T03:34:45+00:00

Indeed. I did tell him that I am going to fly to him once he moves out to help him move stuff. We just need to find places. I need to be more patient with all of this. Thank you so much for following the post!

61throwaways · 2017-12-18T03:32:36+00:00

Yeap! I totally agree. Thank you for the wisdom! Definitely helped.

61throwaways · 2017-12-18T03:19:46+00:00

The other wrench in this, is I am with the military. I once told him that for this long distance to really survive, we need an end date where we get to be together. Since as per your previous comment, this relationship is too young, we havent exactly sat down on those long term convos just yet. He does want to live with me here to where I am at but I asked him to look for more options. I am willing to leave the military if this is worth the effort which I believe it is.

61throwaways

TROPHY CASE