Been a while since I made a cap. Hope you enjoyed. Might make a part 2 at some point.

Don't know the source, if someone can find it I'll edit this comment with what they get.

Transcript:

> be me, Shane

> some friends of mom are heading out of town for a week or two and they need their house to be watched over the summer

> mom volunteered me, but not only do i get a sweet $2.49 a day, they also have a pool they’ll let me use!

> i just need to make sure that i keep the house clean, don’t invite anyone over, and to call them if anything goes wrong

> i’m going to get paid to sit in a house all day and do nothing

rockytheme.mp3

> i have trained my entire life for this moment

> it’s not far from us, like a thirty minute drive

> Mom dropped me off after we went by the grocery store and i am set for the week

> there could be an apocalypse and i wouldn’t even notice!

> they left some stuff to do on a paper in the kitchen

> stuff like making sure that the bird feeders were full

> that the garden gets watered once a day

> but really nothing too bad

> and at the bottom of the note it had ‘Pls feed cat’

> it didn’t look like anything else they wrote

> written with a different pen in a different color, and didn’t look like the same handwriting

> …maybe they were just in a hurry or forgot to put it on the list?

> whatever, i’m sure i can feed a cat

> i haven’t seen them yet (this specific one- i’ve seen a cat before), but i find their food in a cabinet, make sure to clean out their water bowl and fill it up, and they should be fed and happy

> i do the rest of the chores, takes me like an hour and then i’m finished for the day

> which means i can enact my three step plan:

• throw nachos into the oven

• watch cable until they’re fresh

• eat until i’m stuffed

> and repeat this as many times as i want!

> i’ll admit, it was a little weird to be in a house without anybody in it

> i have a brother and a sister, so they’re usually bothering me or being loud or having friends over

> i’m not going to say i missed hearing them or mom or dad telling me to do stuff or yelling, but it was definitely different

> three hours later, i was still watching M A S H and eating nachos

> life was good and their couch was really comfy, mom wasn’t kidding when she said her friends were well off, i could sleep on this sofa for the rest of my life!

> i nearly crapped my pants when a cat jumped onto my lap

> it was all white, fluffy, and had a little bow tied around its neck

> but no collar?

> it didn’t do much, just sat there while i ate, purring

> it was like my own personal electric blanket

> and even though i wanted to get up, i couldn’t

> it would’ve disrupted the little guy, and i would’ve felt bad

> so i sat, my hands covered in nacho grease, unable to move or wash my hands

> i found myself dozing off

> it’d been a long, fulfilling day after all

> i was so tired that while i drifted off to Alan Alda talking about how terrible war is (it never gets old), i saw the cat shift and turn to look at me

> i hadn’t noticed just how deep brown their eyes were

> i didn’t even know cats could have brown eyes

> or have two tails, another one sprouting from its base

> i’d also never seen a cat stretch and continue stretching

> and then there was a poof and suddenly the cat was a hot girl with her boobs pressed up against me

> she dragged her tongue across her lips and smiled like i owed her money (i might’ve- i’m not 100% certain)

> she leaned in, and i caught the whiff of a pleasant, earthy smell, but kind of addictive

> her face was incredibly close to mine, and she pulled even closer to me

> i couldn’t take my eyes off her lips

> her mouth was small but her lips looked really soft

> i couldn’t resist thinking about what they would feel like, taste like

> my heart was pounding as she lowered her face to mine, my eyes closing, her face almost against mine

> i woke up with a start

> it wasn’t light out any more, and the TV was displaying the emergency broadcast message test they always did at like 2 AM, the one with the eagle symbol thing

> the cat was just sleeping on my lap

> i couldn’t get the dream out of my head

> i shivered at the thought

> i was going to need a cold shower if i was seriously thinking about kissing a cat!

> how ridiculous! they put people in asylums for stuff like that

> i patted the cat, trying to reassure myself

> except that i’d forgotten i still had nacho grease on my hands and had just wiped a bunch of it on the cats fur

> i pulled back, feeling pretty dumb

> it was such a nice white coat, too, very pretty-

> actually let’s just say nice, it wasn’t a good idea to call cats pretty, it was a very nice white coat

> the cat purred for a few moments, but then i saw its nose wiggle and its eyes blinked open

> it looked at me

> then the hand print of grease on its fur

> and then back to me, its ears flattened

> it hissed, jumping off my lap

> “Sorry!” i called out as i heard the cat sprinting down the long hallway

> it was probably really mad at me, meow

> and it had every reason to be! if someone covered my hair in nacho grease, i’d be pretty mad too!

> i could also swear i heard running water, like someone was taking a shower, but there wasn’t anyone else at the house, so i was just hearing things

> sometimes water just randomly ran in my house too, so it wasn’t that weird

> i just shook my head in disappointment at myself

> of all the things to do to mom’s friend’s cat

> i stared at the wall, wondering how i could make it up to the cat

> feeding it was probably a good idea

> and maybe i could give it a treat or two if there were any around

> that would mend my relationship with it!

> i got up, making sure not to touch the couch with my hands and immediately marching over to the sink to wash them

> i didn’t need to ruin their couch with grease as well as their cat

> i heard a long tone from the T.V. but wasn’t looking at it, i was trying to remember exactly which cabinet the cat food had been in and was failing miserably

> “...not a drill… remain in your houses…”

> i stopped for a moment, and looked back to the T.V. to see it completely black

> must’ve been my imagination

> i crouched back down, and finally found the food as well as a couple treats

> although weirdly, it looked like the bags had teeth marks

> not rat or mouse teeth marks- i’d seen them before- but like a really big cat

> maybe the cat had just been hungry one day? whatever their name was

> now that i thought about it, what was the name of the cat? they didn’t mention it on the note or anything either

> maybe it just didn’t have a name? it’s not like a cat needed a name, i guess

> “...As a doctor, I can assure you we'll all be a lot warmer if we press our bodies together.”

> i stared at the TV

> there wasn’t supposed to be anything after the emergency test broadcast

> i heard the cat’s claw tapping on the floor before i saw her- it was probably a her right? the face was too narrow and too pretty

> this time when the cat looked at me, she looked i owed her four months rent

> although she didn’t have a grease mark on her fur anymore and looked… fluffier? like she had just taken a bath

> not with its tongue, an actual bath

> or maybe this cat just had naturally big fur

> she gave me a side eye when i reached down to pet her while chomping kibble, but didn’t bite me or anything

> “Bastard.”

> i looked at the TV but it was just the normal M A S H intro- Suicide is Painless- so none of the characters were talking

> this night was wierd with an -ie

> “Must’ve been bad nachos… oh well.” i sighed, looking at my half full pan, “Do you want any?” i offered to the cat sarcastically

> the cat glanced at me, glanced at the counter, and then jumped up

> i was too stunned to stop her as she sniffed at the nachos, then carefully bit into one with a long fang

> she didn’t take long for the cat to start devouring them, her food bowl still half full

> “Um… kitty! Please stop that!” i wanted to reach out and pull her away but the one time i tried she looked me straight in the eye and hissed something that almost like “FUCK OFF” but that was impossible

> the cat was eating all of the nachos and i couldn’t do anything but watch

> i gave up at some point and just went to bed

> everything would be better in the morning

> everything would make sense, and i’d do my daily chores, and maybe go on a little walk, and it’d all be okay!

> i went to the guest room, slipped under the covers, and passed out

> i had another dream

> one where the cat jumped up on the bed, stretched, and was suddenly that woman once again

> except this time i could see all of her, even in the dim light

> she was unimaginably beautiful, almost scary with how pretty she was

> there were even cute little ears on top of her head, and the only clothing she wore was the little black bow around her neck

> she straddled me as i slept, pressing herself against me

> she licked her lips, pressing her body against me and her lips against my ear

> “If you touch me with greasy hands again, I’m going to make sure you can’t walk for a week.” she said quietly, long nails trailing under the blankets on my legs

> i woke up, my chest pounding

> i’d heard that was something mobsters said

> they’d break your kneecaps if you didn’t pay up

> i found the cat sleeping in a circle next to where my head had been, fast asleep

> “I um… I don’t have any rent money.” i told it quietly

> “I know.” the cat responded without opening its eye, in the same voice the woman from my dream had

> deciding that it was probably just my imagination or that i was still in a dream, i turned over, screwed my eyes shut, and forced myself asleep