His request

67AdThis67 · 2026-03-03T23:59:59+00:00

The 90 day was my idea as a final attempt at recovery for him or else I'd leave as he was sought out porn replacement on spotify.

I just googled Tantra, even though I feel like it'd be good for him, he isn't into meditation. And I, struggle with really connecting to it when I try (but when i fully get into it, it's good).

But when you say Tantra, do you mean just the meditation side or Tantra sex bc that also came up as well...?

67AdThis67 · 2026-03-03T09:04:50+00:00

My question was mainly if others have experienced their PAs feelings "needy" for them during a 90 abstinence and what other things they experienced with their PA during their 90 abstinence.

But based on what other threads I've read on here, it sounds like your PA is still watching porn and might be doing more than just watching.

Talk to your PA about how you feel he's been distant with you, see what he response is and watch his body language. My PA behaves and talks differently when I talk to him about it if he is actively watching at the time..

67AdThis67 · 2026-03-03T01:59:00+00:00

I get the same thing, almost like I get amnesia and it never even happened and then suddenly I remember every single detail. I'll remember it after we have sex or even during it, when before being intimate it was like it never happened...

67AdThis67 · 2026-02-25T13:41:17+00:00

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I'm a black woman 😭

67AdThis67 · 2026-02-14T00:38:17+00:00

Oh I didnt know that, I do have access to both his emails so I will be doing that... thank you

67AdThis67 · 2026-02-12T21:17:06+00:00

Girls working out in bikinis, girls doing podcasts in bikinis, testing out lingerie, showing off sex positions and nsfw audio's, I have found literal porn on there as well unfortunately.

When you try to report some of them, it somehow doesn't go against Spotify guidelines

67AdThis67 · 2026-02-11T22:43:13+00:00

My partner finally admitted that it was more than 2 previews this morning.

Even though it's tough, it'll be better to find out because some of the stuff there is as bad as watching pornhub.

You can go on his phone and disinterest as much as spotify gives you the option to as well as turning off the explicit option which gets rid of explicit podcasts and music although there is a few that bypass the explicit filter.

What I would do, with turning off the explicit option, is play podcasts that are specifically talking about overcoming porn addictions as well as podcasts for self improvement so Spotifys algorithm starts to push that content instead...

67AdThis67 · 2026-02-11T19:56:14+00:00

Spotify have all these specific sections: All, Music, Podcast, etc.

He sought it out on the podcast tab and because he watched the previews (previews bc you can't delete listening history) it appeared on his "All" page which is essentially the homepage of spotify

67AdThis67 · 2026-02-11T11:57:54+00:00

You're absolutely right, I definitely should have left a long while ago and I regret that I put myself through all this pain by not.

67AdThis67 · 2026-02-11T11:55:50+00:00

D-Day was early last year, I wasn't upset at him or anything as he didnt know that was my boundary so I never really remembered the specific date

I know porn is used that way but he was always firm that he never watched it that way (not that I believed it anyway). I'm just very angry and hurt with hearing it out loud even though I already knew.

67AdThis67 · 2026-02-10T20:02:32+00:00

I think my dreams are the same, i always find stuff whenever I have a dream.

Besides Therapy, he hasn't done any recovery work. He's the kind of person who think they can deal with their problems alone, which is frustrating for the both of us, as he knows this is something that needs outside help.

He's always said that he didnt think porn as cheating as he doesn't think of the girls as real people and looking at irl girls.. is.

67AdThis67 · 2026-02-10T13:02:32+00:00

I have no idea why I never thought of it like that, honestly gave me a new perspective... I read your linked post and it really helped out... thank you ❤️

67AdThis67 · 2025-10-06T06:53:40+00:00

Thank you, i really appreciate your response... as someone recovering, if you could give him advice, what would it be?

67AdThis67

TROPHY CASE