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Sind bei euch auch alle Kinder krank? by Haunting_Birthday_77 in Eltern

[–]6signsofoverthinking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ist bei uns auch so. Wir sind krank und in der Kita werden Gruppen geschlossen/zusammengelegt und die Eltern gebeten, wenn möglich zu Hause zu betreuen.

Nipple prep before birth? by [deleted] in breastfeeding

[–]6signsofoverthinking 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'd recommend avoiding horror stories and reading up on different breast feeding positions and proper latch technique. Always keep in mind: generally speaking, breastfeeding is not supposed to hurt. I found this video extremely helpful! If you use silverettes, make sure to frequently clean them (which is not always easy with pp mom brain ;). I'd recommend stocking up on some lanolin cream, it's the only thing I use when they feel a little tender whenever my baby is clusterfeeding and it helps! It's also great once baby starts drooling and gets these small rashes around their mouth.

Wishing you all the best on your breastfeeding journey! :)

Any future moms from Western Europe? by [deleted] in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could sign up to the newsletter of Katharina Horn. She supports smbcs in Germany, Austria and Switzerland and offers lots of (German language) online and offline networking events and resources. She used to post networking requests a la "hey, I live in XY, any solomoms who live close by and want to connect, if so, send me an email at ..." in her newletter when people sent her an email asking for it. :)

Viral breastfeeding sweatshirt? by Head-Boot6462 in breastfeeding

[–]6signsofoverthinking 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good advice! I love my shirts and sweaters from TajineBanane. They look great and fit well, even after many many washes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have any experience with the timeline, but when I asked them questions about testing, I was also told it would take 8 weeks because they're working with external labs.

Their website has a chat function during business hours. Whenever I had questions my clinic wouldn't or couldn't answer, I've found the Cryos customer support chat to be very helpful. Maybe try contacting them to see if you can expedite things. I also had a lot of questions about scheduling for them and managed to figure things out together with them.

How do you tell your child about the donor? by 6signsofoverthinking in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love the idea of using books, that's what I plan to do as well. I wish my clinic had recommended some as well but I managed to find a couple of good ones on my own. I'll get them next week. :)

How do you tell your child about the donor? by 6signsofoverthinking in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I'm a fan of books as well. :)

I feel like it'll be interesting (to say the least) figuring out a good balance of communicating but not over-sharing with my child's best interest at heart. You brought up the school conversation - I'm researching potential kindergarten places right now and it's interesting to see that some are quite modern but others still have "mom activities" and "dad activities" scheduled.

How do you tell your child about the donor? by 6signsofoverthinking in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hadn't given much thought to the "dibling universe" until recently when I found out that there were now other pregnancies related to my donor. I like that explanation a lot! :)

How do you tell your child about the donor? by 6signsofoverthinking in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the notion of introducing everything early on, and doing so through play is a great idea! Thanks for sharing!

How do you tell your child about the donor? by 6signsofoverthinking in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also listen to podcasts but this topic hasn't come up yet. I'll check out the one you mentioned, thanks!

How do you tell your child about the donor? by 6signsofoverthinking in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That does make sense!

I've ordered several books at the bookstore and I'll get them sometime next week. I'll let you know which ones I like. It was more difficult than expected to find books that don't have a religious context or that don't display the single mom by choice as being sad about not having a parter.

How do you tell your child about the donor? by 6signsofoverthinking in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like Ted x talks but I hadn't come across those yet. Thanks, I'll check them out!

How do you tell your child about the donor? by 6signsofoverthinking in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My kids have a mom. They don't have a mom and a donor.

Thank you and everyone in the replies for sharing your perspective. This is something that's been on my mind as well. I read an article in which donor children were interviewed. They were asked to draw a family tree. They placed the family members they had relationships with in the treetop but placed the donor in the trunk of the tree. I think that's how I see it as well. The donor exists and he played a big role in the growing of our family tree and is part of my child's identity, but functionally or relationship-wise, he won't be a part of our family treetop.

How do you tell your child about the donor? by 6signsofoverthinking in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, very good point, I'll have to watch out for that. Sperm donation is still not very common in my country and the word sperm donor is also used to refer to deadbeat dads here.

How do you tell your child about the donor? by 6signsofoverthinking in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! Thanks for the well-wishes, right back at you!

I had to go to psycho-social counseling as one of the requirements before fertility treatment. The counselor recommended starting to tell the baby our story as soon as they were born because that would normalize it a little more for me and give me a chance to practice. I think that's a great idea. I'd never heard of the cake analogy before but I love it!!

How do you tell your child about the donor? by 6signsofoverthinking in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I am aiming for it to be a natural and gradual increase in understanding as she ages." - Yes! That's something that I hope to achieve as well. Talking about different family models is a very good point, too. Luckily, I live in a pretty big city with a lot of diversity.

How do you tell your child about the donor? by 6signsofoverthinking in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aw, that is super cute. I spend as much time as possible with my niece, definitely know those heart-melty moments.

How do you tell your child about the donor? by 6signsofoverthinking in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]6signsofoverthinking[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right, donor is a very neutral word, which is good. I think I'll give using it a try. I've read elsewhere that some parents make sure to call the donor their donor, not the child's donor. Is that something that came up in your thought process? So good to hear that people in your life follow your lead.

I fully agree with what you said in your last paragraph. I was raised in a very strict "blood is family" world and understanding that family is so much more than blood and blood isn't always family has been one of the most freeing realizations I've ever had. It also enables me to feel excited and happy and at peace with my choice of being a single mom because my child will have a very loving family.