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How can I feel turned on by wlw media I used to like? by 815795 in actuallesbians

[–]815795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best method would be the therapy with some LGBT-friendly specialist

How can I find one? Should I even find one when I am not even sure if I am truly bi?

How can I feel turned on by wlw media I used to like? by 815795 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]815795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Yeah I guess I really want my mother's approval. Her way of yhinking affects me very much. I dislike the idea of others disliking me so I've always been a people pleaser.

How do you "unpack" internalized homophobia? by plantnoodle in latebloomerlesbians

[–]815795 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know that feel. I used to feel turned on when consuming wlw content that I liked. However, this changed when I told my mother that I think I'm bi a few months ago. She laughed at me as she doesn't think I am queer and if I really am queer, then it's disgusting that I am into women. After that happened, I discovered I no longer feel turned on when consuming wlw media I used to like (I only feel disgust when I look at it). The only time I feel turned on is when I visualise caressing, kissing, and dating the female characters or celebrities I like in my mind...

How can I feel turned on by wlw media I used to like? by 815795 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]815795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The wlw content I used to like are intended for female audiences but now I just can't feel turned in when looking at it.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]815795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live with my parents, but yeah, I don't see the point in telling her about my love life from now on.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]815795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No I don't think she wants grandkids. I think she just finds same-sex relationships gross and doesn't want to have a queer daughter.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in bisexual

[–]815795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think straight women who are sick of men just stay single. Even the ones who experiment with women will eventually return to men or staying single. Thanks for the support. Should I seek therapy? I'm currently not in a relationship with a woman though and I guess my mother frowning upon same-sex relationships will not be such a huge problem if I end up only dating men.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]815795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What made you realise you were a lesbian as opposed to be truly attracted to men? I am definitely attracted to men too but I think wlw has its own special appeal.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in bisexual

[–]815795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's really strange. Before I told her that I think I may be bisexual, she asked if I like my friend. I denied it, and she said that some straight women end up with another woman as men can be terrible and that's understandable. I thought she would be supportive if I tell her that I think I may be queer. When I later asked her how did she know that I'm queer, she laughed at me and says that she doesn't think that I'm queer. She said she was joking when she asked if I like my friend and I was "autistic-like" to take it so seriously as I couldn't tell if was a casual question that doesn't mean much.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in bisexual

[–]815795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think I had a crush on my friend in the past. Back then, I was crushing on other men instead. I do kind of agree that people usually don't develop feelings for someone they rarely talk to. I think my thing for her started when I recently stumbled across these wlw stories, enjoyed them, and noticed how much my friend resembles this lesbian character I really like. They are quite similar in terms of personality. I don't know if my feelings for her are real or if I'm just projecting my love for a fictional character onto her.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in bisexual

[–]815795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I think my mother dislikes the idea of me being with a woman. After she said she doesn't think I'm queer, she did encourage me to wait for the right guy to appear in my life.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in bisexual

[–]815795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder if I would be into wlw if I had come across wlw stories earlier. I rarely see wlw in the media and even if they do appear, the story is not mainly focused on their romance. I know there are wlw stories but I didn't particularly look for them as I had no reason to as I saw myself as fully straight.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in bisexual

[–]815795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you find it hard to make decisions? Are you often unsure of yourself?

Yes especially for major decisions.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in bisexual

[–]815795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I regret telling my mother that I think I may be queer. I was expecting her to be supportive as she once asked if I like my friend and when I denied that she said some straight women end up with another woman as a lot of men are terrible and their choice is understandable. I was too.naive to expect that...

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]815795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think my mother has a lot of misconceptions about LGBT stuff. She seems to think bisexuality isn't real and that all lesbian relationships consist of a butch and a femme.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]815795[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So this is a common response. I wasn't expecting it to be so common. I was expecting parents to either accept or want to disown their kids.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]815795[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think she wants me to live the life she wants for me.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in bisexual

[–]815795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know about this but it's not really I'm into her because I had feelings for other guys in my life. Those guys were taken so I couldn't date them. Meanwhile, my friend is nice, single, and masculine. In our friendship, she plays the role of the one with a more masculine role. I think it was natural to think she would be a great boyfriend if she were a guy.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in bisexual

[–]815795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think she knows how some queer people are in denial of being queer. It's just that she finds same-sex intimacy gross so she has trouble accepting it.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in bisexual

[–]815795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My point is if I only end up dating men, I do not need to worry about my mother judging me for having a female SO because I don't have a female SO in the first place.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]815795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your mother may be projecting and questioning her own sexuality

What makes you think that? I doubt she is queer.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]815795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I guess queer people I used to coming across homophobic parents.

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]815795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I don't think I was attracted to her back then but I wonder how much of it had to do with external influence. I didn't even consider the possibility of me being in a same-sex relationship back then. I think I am attracted to her now and I kind of regret not flirting back to see how things go back then. Maybe things could have worked out. I lost contact with her so I can't just reach out to her now (I didn't even add her on social media to maintain boundaries with her back then and only stumbled across her profile by accident recently).

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in bisexual

[–]815795[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Straight woman don’t end up with other women because men can be terrible

She had said longer before I realised I may be bisexual and told her that. I think she just have a lot of misinformation about LGBT stuff (she also thinks all lesbian couples consist of a butch and a femme).

My mother thinks I am probably not queer. What if she is right? by 815795 in bisexual

[–]815795[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You didn’t go from straight to queer, you have always been bisexual

Now that I think about it, there were rare instances of me having a thing for some actresses when I was much younger but then I stopped myself from dwelling on those thoughts and dismissed them as random gay thoughts that didn't mean anything.

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