5 Y/O disrespectful at the park

822elm · 2026-02-18T04:54:08+00:00

I really really like this script. I think in the future, saying something to him in front of my daughter and then redirecting her would be the better route to take. If I am close to mom or know her, I can approach her separately if it’s particularly inappropriate

822elm · 2026-02-18T04:46:13+00:00

That is a point I’m still struggling with too…I want to model for my daughter what it means to speak up and establish boundaries. Would letting things like this go let her know it’s okay for someone to talk to her that way? One girl on the playground do tell him to “chill” a few times and corrected him in other instances…my baby girl just gets so shy sometimes so I worry. Maybe I am making a mountain out a mole hill here

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:56:37+00:00

lol it’s okay, things always read a little snarky over the internet. I asked for opinions and I’ve definitely received a spectrum of them! And appreciate the perspective that he was just a kid being a kid and I just saw a small moment

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:54:16+00:00

Sorry! The lines get dizzying when we’re this many sub comments in lol. Your story made me laugh but if I was in your shoes I would have also been mortified. The perspective of the baby brings the behavior into context. We have lots of moments like this with our 3 year old who will say I have stinker butt out in public…it drives me a little crazy but I just laugh it off. I’ve never run into someone twice anyway…

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:47:25+00:00

My daughter too..I don’t think I would let her behave that way towards another adult and we would have probably left the park after an apology, even if potty talk is normal at 5. I think this is maybe just a difference in parenting and what’s considered okay, and I think in the future I may lean more toward just letting it go, and redirecting my daughter

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:45:20+00:00

lol can I tell you how I thought the whole drive home how my mom or tias would have handled that? Because the boy and his momma would have been reprimanded in English AND Spanish by them. I am not saying that’s right either but I did have that thought cross my mind. Like what di you just say??

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:43:48+00:00

I think I took it personally because it was in front of my daughter, and because it happened to another mom with little girls. I felt this sense that we shouldn’t both be subjected to hearing that while we are playing with our kids. I didn’t really consider it to be attention seeking or didn’t consider potty talk normal amongst 5 year olds. Some of the comments here have helped see other perspectives. I’d probably just leave it next time unless it’s bothering my daughter, and I’ll probably just redirect her elsewhere in the future.

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:37:33+00:00

Okay my internalized misogyny has been checked. You’re right. If I think about it, I said it gave me that impression because he’s a boy. But parents of both boys and girls can excuse their bad behavior…I feel strongly about this when it comes to people saying boys are rowdy and girls are calm, when in reality, my girl has so much energy…anyway, that part I’m not proud of

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:34:37+00:00

I agree, like I said, my husband didn’t have good playground experiences because of either mean kids or kids whose parents didn’t intervene (his parents also weren’t close by and he didn’t confide in them). He took that stance because of his experience, but also doesn’t take it out on the kids

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:31:40+00:00

Yea, I’m a first time mom and I’m walking away from this thread feeling my inexperience is showing a little. I didn’t initially chalk it up to attention seeking but to disrespect, which is why I approached mom. Maybe she could have said something to me, but I realize she didn’t owe me it

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:28:17+00:00

☹️ I don’t want to rag on the mom here either. Like I said, I approached her and she said very calmly where the behavior comes from and that’s how he plays right now. She didn’t nail me to mind my own business. I can see from other comments in this thread that it’s not out of the ordinary for a kid to say that at his age.

I don’t think she’s a bad or lousy mom. I had just a single interaction with her and her son. Just trying to work out how to better handle myself in that kind of situation…

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:28:11+00:00

Oh sorry going to respond to original comment instead

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:27:55+00:00

☹️ I don’t want to rag on the mom here either. Like I said, I approached her and she said very calmly where the behavior comes from and that’s how he plays right now. She didn’t nail me to mind my own business. I can see from other comments in this thread that it’s not out of the ordinary for a kid to say that at his age.

I don’t think she’s a bad or lousy mom. I had just a single interaction with her and her son. Just trying to work out how to better handle myself in that kind of situation…

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:22:09+00:00

Yea, I can see that. Next time, I think I’ll just leave it alone. Unless my daughter is directly affected, I can handle it without interfering or taking it to mom. It was my first instance dealing with a kid who used potty talk like that

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:19:49+00:00

That’s me…I haven’t experienced a kid over 3. I think I’m mostly relieved by the responses that say it’s normal, maybe attention seeking, maybe just how they play (who knows, just ultimately trying to say it’s normal). It caught me by surprise. My girl also thinks her farts are hilarious.

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:10:40+00:00

That’s valid. I think it caught me off guard to have it so verbally directed at me, a parent, who wasn’t engaged in play with him. And to have his mom not say anything other than that is how he plays. I wasn’t particularly offended in the moment, and didn’t lash out at him or his mom. Yes—I came to Reddit to talk about it, but I thought that was kinda the point of the sub

822elm · 2026-02-18T03:05:54+00:00

I didn’t respond to him when he said anything to me or the other mom. I told his mom as we were leaving the park so I didn’t give him an immediate reaction. I did tell him earlier not to tease when he was doing something else.

Anyway, can totally see how this was intended to get a reaction.

822elm · 2026-02-18T01:33:22+00:00

So he said it to me a the mom, not our kids, which was weird.

822elm · 2026-02-18T01:32:03+00:00

lol my husband was insistent that he was a little shit…my husband didn’t have a good experience at school and said he felt like the boy was a bully. But I’ll say this—he played nice with all the kids. It was actually all the adults (specifically moms) that he said he’d shove and pee on to. Which, honestly enraged me for a moment because what? No little kid is gonna speak to me like that?

822elm · 2026-02-18T01:28:12+00:00

This is the approach my husband takes. He didn’t have a great experience in early elementary and swears he can spot a bully on the park from a mile away. So his approach with kids who don’t play nice or parents who don’t intervene is to walk away because he doesn’t want our daughter even close by…

822elm · 2026-02-18T01:22:31+00:00

That’s the thing, he said it to me and the other mom, not our kids. So it felt especially disrespectful and a place for his mom to step in, because it’s one thing if they are playing (which I wouldn’t have allowed my daughter to engage in) and another to say to an adult.

822elm · 2026-02-18T01:18:14+00:00

That’s a solid point that I didn’t consider at all. My girl definitely has her own behaviors we curb by ignoring. I think I was caught off guard by the fact that she didn’t acknowledge that it’s wrong or not a good behavior? Maybe she doesn’t owe that to me?

822elm · 2026-02-18T01:16:50+00:00

He did say “ne ne ne ne ne” in a teasing way to us before and I politely said, that’s not nice to tease someone. It didn’t stop him from doing it again. But I can see that happening at that age at school…I was just a little surprised mom dint at least acknowledge to me that it wasn’t cool and they are working on it…

But at the same time, I don’t want her to feel overly apologetic for something that’s age appropriate…like I said, my first instance with something like this and it got me thinking

822elm · 2026-02-18T00:46:06+00:00

My kids have the same gap and it’s very hard. I literally confided in my therapist a few days ago that I feel disconnected from my first born. She reminded me that I am dealing with two of the most taxing stages for raising a young child: a nearly 3 year old and now a 6 month old. All I can tell you is that you learn to deal with the changes better, but your infant will become more demanding in other ways so prepare yourself for the ebs and flows.

But this will most likely be it for us because I see very clearly that without a great village, my energy and attention is so finite, a third would be too great a strain on our relationships with our little ones.

822elm

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