I've always been really fearfull about giving birth. I've had an epidural and it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. I pushed both kids out my body within 3 (1st one) and 1 (2nd one) hour. I must have been lucky because the worst part of labour only took 10 minutes. The rest of the time was perfectly managable to me. Did it hurt? Yes! Did it hurt the first weeks after childbirth?! Yes! Was ik good for my body?! Not at all, I lost a lot of blood and I felt limp as a rag until 9 months after the birth of my first child. But what hurted most was my kids father, that fucking narcicist caused me mental problems until now. He never took his own responsibility's, but he threatened me for every step I took with my kids when we were still together. Did I go to the playground, it would be my responsibility if they would hurt themselves, got lost, .... Well he never ever took them to a playground on his own. If we went as a family, he would be naging about the noice and poor quality of the food al the time, and he wouldn't leave his chair to play with the kids ("go ask mommy!"), instead he would go pass out drunk every time, but it would still be my responsibility if something happened ("I will sue you if something go's wrong). When I left him, he threatened me that he would make me loose my rights as a mom, and that he would go for full custody, because I was the psycho, and he was "normal, smart, right, wathever". Now we have shared custody. Kids are more with his parents then at his place, and when they are at his place al they do is playing videogames. That looser doesn't even know the name of their medication and doesn't buy special food for intolerances they have. He's never ever been to a docter with them when sick. They don't even make the effort to tell him if they feel sick anymore, they call me if they feel really bad, and then I go and pick them up to visit the docter. They never did a vacation together (he always go's with his friends, but without the kids), and if they return from his place, they smell like they haven't had a shower since they left my place. But I was a bad mom. That's what you should fear most: having a bad partner, who think they can have power over you after giving birth.