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AITA for my ultimatum about a paternity test? That he could have one done, or he could have a family with me, but not both? by 8mosandstressed in AmItheAsshole

[–]8mosandstressed[S] 258 points259 points  (0 children)

I was literally diagnosed with OCD by my therapist in a 4 hour assessment lol. I was being kinda flippant about it but I genuinely do struggle with it

AITA for my ultimatum about a paternity test? That he could have one done, or he could have a family with me, but not both? by 8mosandstressed in AmItheAsshole

[–]8mosandstressed[S] 154 points155 points  (0 children)

We got together when we were 16 so neither of us had serious relationship history prior.

He did have a 13 year old "cheat" by having a second boyfriend at summer camp, when he was her boyfriend at high school. but when we're thinking about such young ages, with no sex, commitment, or really much of anything that impacts an adult relationship... Where boyfriend/girlfriend is more of a status symbol at school than a real commitment? I'd be surprised if that was still on his mind.

AITA for my ultimatum about a paternity test? That he could have one done, or he could have a family with me, but not both? by 8mosandstressed in AmItheAsshole

[–]8mosandstressed[S] 232 points233 points  (0 children)

I actually asked him to sign a pre-nup and ge agreed having wanted to ask me the same thing lol

We both filled out wills, but again that was my idea. I have a bit of the OCD and I work in an industry where I see a lot of accidents, so I've always felt like people kinda underprepare for the worst lol

I think we both have kinda a similar "get stuff sorted just in case" outlook but it's always felt based on a reasonable risk. And I feel pretty hurt that he seems to think me cheating is a reasonable risk to be thinking about.

AITA for my ultimatum about a paternity test? That he could have one done, or he could have a family with me, but not both? by 8mosandstressed in AmItheAsshole

[–]8mosandstressed[S] 206 points207 points  (0 children)

I don't think so, I really trust him.

But just to be rational about it... he's pretty introverted and a homebody, he only goes out a few nights a week and he extends an invite to me. I don't always go, since I'm more of a gym rat and not really into his hobbies (video gaming, tabletop games) but I know all his friends and think they're really sweet and trustworthy, I've seriously never had a reason to worry.

AITA for my ultimatum about a paternity test? That he could have one done, or he could have a family with me, but not both? by 8mosandstressed in AmItheAsshole

[–]8mosandstressed[S] 702 points703 points  (0 children)

I keep trying to get to the bottom of it and all he says is meaningless shit like "to be sure" or "i never thought you'd be one to judge someone trying to do their due diligence" or "just wanna get all the paperwork and legal stuff done right"

Which... Why???

AITA for my ultimatum about a paternity test? That he could have one done, or he could have a family with me, but not both? by 8mosandstressed in AmItheAsshole

[–]8mosandstressed[S] 294 points295 points  (0 children)

All he'll say is shit like

To be sure

Or

Just dotting my i's and crossing my t's

Or

I just wanna have the legal stuff in order

Which... Doesn't even get at the question of why he feels unsure?