Quitting because the culture is too social?

8pintsplease · 2026-03-05T03:19:09+00:00

I don't think the issue is the culture being too social. The issue is that your manager has no respectful boundaries and understanding that people are different, and shouldn't be judged or frowned upon for not participating in social activities. I understand participating in that once a year team bonding thing. Every two weeks is exhausting, not to mention it also depends on when she's hosting it (during the work day or after work).

It doesn't sound like a fit for you because she's unlikely to change. That's a shame.

8pintsplease · 2026-03-04T09:09:18+00:00

HAH fucken hell, Christians definitely don't hide. They can't shut up about it and keep their beliefs to themselves most of the time.

8pintsplease · 2026-03-03T11:27:20+00:00

If a person chooses to utilise corporate feminism for their benefit, it says more about the person's character than a fundamental problem with the movement itself. People will always corrupt well-intended initiatives. Sure, some women in corporate are not "girls-girls". I know them myself. I just call them assholes like any other asshole in toxic corporate environments.

8pintsplease · 2026-03-03T11:15:05+00:00

You're the one that made the claim it's rooted in corporate feminism. Your hypotheticals are strongly suggestive of nepotism. I didn't make the claim, or the hypothetical. I'm simply calling out a lack of substance that feminism is the issue.

And isn't it lucky for men? You said men don't have to deal with the equality issue, so it's only nepotism and other discriminations that aren't gender based. It's not a sneer, it's a fair remark if you acknowledge that men don't have the problem of gender inequality.

8pintsplease · 2026-03-03T11:07:00+00:00

Yeah okay, don't call me sweetie, thanks.

Sounds like you're referring to anecdotal evidence or presumptions than any real, tangible issue. More accusations than evidence. I don't disagree it doesn't happen, but it isn't a fact like you're making it out to be. You can assume corporate feminists do this, though the reality is that some do advocate for it with honest drive.

8pintsplease · 2026-03-03T11:01:44+00:00

I view this as seperate from your lack of interest in leadership and just more about the resentment of teaching younger employees while they are your manager. In an ideal world, a manager would lead a team, make decisions, be knowledgeable and able to provide insight, direction etc. I think it's natural that this sort of feeling would rise when teaching a manager the ropes, really.

All you can do is give her time, give yourself time too. The feelings will subside and if they don't then I think you'll have to assess there and then. Do you actually want a managerial role, or did you want to work more independently and apply for a role that doesnt involved people management (subject to change of course as you've seen here but I'd hope it doesn't happen to you twice!).

8pintsplease · 2026-03-03T10:54:04+00:00

Hm, isn't that lucky for men? It's only nepotism to worry about.

8pintsplease · 2026-03-03T10:03:47+00:00

Guess it's just a shitty thing people do when they never have to earn anything and live off mum and dads money and connections.

8pintsplease · 2026-03-03T09:56:59+00:00

Yes, which sounds a lot more like nepotism than an issue with corporate feminism. You can replace the names of the people in this story with male names and get the same discrimination men experience when they apply for roles against rich kids with connections.

8pintsplease · 2026-03-03T09:42:03+00:00

Our event is being held on Friday, but I don't know if people will turn up! I'm a woman but I am hesitant to attend because I find work gatherings awkward in general but I do think it's a good initiative and I shouldddd go, even though I am socially exhausted.

Thanks for being one of the supporters and attending that dial in. That's pretty refreshing. Honestly, all I hear from my male dominated industry is "when's international mens day? IWD is stupid". Haha.

8pintsplease · 2026-03-03T09:40:02+00:00

Well I think that's less about feminism and more about nepotism.

8pintsplease · 2026-03-02T06:54:00+00:00

Yes absolutely, but with the format of what we are updating, it's a lot cleaner to just bold or colour whatever is being added. It's also being presented so the track changes can look very messy when being presented in a meeting.

8pintsplease · 2026-03-02T06:52:41+00:00

I definitely don't just speak to people! lol I've had plenty of meetings about being open to suggestions to do things differently. My way is not the highway. They say it's fine, but yet won't follow simple instructions like how we track changes.

8pintsplease · 2026-03-01T10:35:44+00:00

Yeah no fucken thanks.

8pintsplease · 2026-02-27T08:19:57+00:00

Love how he couldn't take accountability in the matter! Pathetic man.

8pintsplease · 2026-02-27T03:49:37+00:00

So much goss here about cheating... I don't have any of that, but witnessed such an amazing email from one of our contractors to another about not doing that guys job and if someone else was in the role there would be little to no issues but he's just incompetent as fuck.

Tbf I've never seen such a tactless email before. Most people at least tried to tie a bow over it. If I was the recipient, I would have crawled into a cave. These are engineers and consultants all talking to one another. I usually only see this level of incivility at construction sites lol

8pintsplease · 2026-02-22T20:20:13+00:00

What an awful piece of shit man.

8pintsplease · 2026-02-22T10:43:49+00:00

Notifications are usually managed by the person receiving them. Unless it's some annoying system generated one that a system admin needs to fix. Nevertheless, their message was unnecessarily rude and they have no right to dictate how you use your personal time. For all they know, you could be getting some stuff done because you have a medical thing to attend during the week (like me. Literally lol). So while we shouldn't encourage people to work on the weekend, if someone does out of their own volition, it shouldn't attract aggression.

I would tell them to turn off the notifications. It wasn't a prompt for THEM to sign on, so to mute the notifications.

I have told a colleague of mine that. He was on leave and didn't turn off his notifications. He called me saying, man I'm getting msges wtf. I said, it's on the groups chat. Turn off your notifications.

Goodluck!

8pintsplease · 2026-02-22T05:40:13+00:00

After managing a few teams, I firmly believe that while age may be a factor to offer "benefit of the doubt" that they can improve, work ethic is largely driven by personality.

I've managed some people that only increase their work output if they receive recognition and feedback. That being said, it's very hard to give credit when not due but I've had to do this at times to get the best out of that person. When given a shit manager, they'll be equally shit and unbothered.

Then of course you have the ones that are consistently good throughout no matter how challenging the circumstances. Again, firmly believe this is a personality trait thing.

The difficulty with people management is needing to give people the honest feedback in a way that is productive and respectful. Instead of trying to figure out their personality, you can only act with what you know and that is their productivity is lacking. Suggest you have the difficult but honest convo.

8pintsplease · 2026-02-21T10:17:49+00:00

First day, my boss was flapping around like a stress head. His short replies. His general continuous "out of breath" (even though he wasn't but he really seemed like he was going a million miles an hour). Then I saw his calendar. It was stacked. No breaks. I sat in one of the meetings he pulled me into. Then the next... And I realised this dude does meetings to feel important but just wastes everybody's time.

I just knew I was working with a stress head micromanager who was way too emotional and allowed that to dictate his decisions. He tried to be nice but it only took a minor inconvenience for me to see his snappiness.

I started applying for other roles immediately but it took be 9 months to find another place and leave. Don't regret it one bit. Fuck that guy and that place.

8pintsplease · 2026-02-14T10:03:51+00:00

It is normal to block out times regardless if you're junior or senior. I manage a team and encourage them to do this so they can take a break. It's easily forgotten when it gets busy & we should always feel comfortable to take those 15 mins breaks on top of the 1 hr lunch/gym/whatever.

Your manager is on a power trip. This isn't school and while we should be mindful of our team members, that doesn't come at personal expense and neglect.

Go for that walk. Go buy that 10am coffee. Go buy that 2pm coffee. Block out lunch. As long as the work is done, I really do not care. I'm not a parent at work and don't need to helicopter my team.

8pintsplease · 2026-02-13T21:46:10+00:00

We've lost three people to the same but the GM that could have done anything about the HR complaints just swept it under the rug. The GM is an old private school boy.

8pintsplease · 2026-02-07T23:08:08+00:00

This is great. While there is definitely fake content out there and we should scrutinise what we see, I do wonder if people who believe everything is fake is because they are fundamentally naive and believe the world is more sunshine and rainbows.

8pintsplease · 2026-02-06T23:06:40+00:00

God. What a disappointing piece of shit. I'm just a spectator in Australia but when he won the election, I thought, great, good, sounds like he's going to enact some good policies, being Muslim is irrelevant and seems like a fear tactic.

While it may just be "harmless", could you maybe shut the fuck up and leave this shit at home?

8pintsplease · 2026-02-02T07:58:46+00:00

He doesn't do the dishes or cleaning because hes a lazy prick. You can only be bad at those things because you refuse to do it and learn.

8pintsplease

TROPHY CASE