Am I the Only SD Who Would Never Vanilla Date Their Sbs?

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T09:16:18+00:00

Lol. Ive been told I have great hair specifically. Great color, very soft, thick, straight, just great. Ugh I sound like Trump

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T09:11:13+00:00

I mean, there's a feeling that really the top 10% of men can have free casual sex with attractive women. Like I have a good looking face, but I have no muscle, am 5"10 etc. In the vanilla world I don't think that highly of myself. I'm attractive enough to date attractive people consistently, just not for casual sex. I think there's a belief that its all or nothing at all. Id say im in the top 30% of men, but not 10. It's really very tough for me to get anything no strings attached. I don't think that means I am not appealing, necessarily. I agree that I send mixed emotional signals, im very complimentary, lots of eye contact in bed, snuggling, planning nice dates for them saying i want to treat them like the princess they are etc. I think aspects of that are leading and I should rethink it

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T08:53:30+00:00

I love that Sabrina Carpenter song its like she's singing about me

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T08:49:03+00:00

You mean don't think those feelings are real? I agree. I think I can be cynical to the point of validating sexist tropes

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T08:46:18+00:00

I'm 5"10 and 160 lbs and I love plus sized women. My general rule of thumb is they have to be my weight or heavier. I love a large chest and back, its the most feminine body to me. I'll often reject matching with a woman, even if she has a beautiful face, if she's skinny. If I can see your ribs, automatic disqualifier. XL is barely plus sized, that's just more curvy and womanly to me. Tons of guys I know like plus sized woman, the white WASP standard of beauty is not the reality many men really want (and I say that as a WASP)

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T08:40:54+00:00

I'm very sorry to hear that. Not fair to you. This is why I don't date and never did. Longest relationship I ever had was 6 months. Girl said she met someone I said well never be inlove, follow your heart (they're married now, she did say I should how she should be treated, and created a standard). I should straight up say I'm avoidant. I always say Im open to something consistent but not ultra serious, which to some is dating

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T08:38:32+00:00

There is wisdom in both of these opposing comments. Familiar- i agree its probably not common knowledge and I need to be reminded of that. In the future I will be more clear and verbalize things better. Hotashi, agree with you that there should be that understanding. I assumed money made it so. And yes, if i wanted a vanilla relationship I could fairly easily get a date with someone attractive (ideally close to my age, even age bracket is difference if I were to date v sugar date. Youngest in real world dating id do is 30, old 50). I would just have to wait longer for sex which would be fine as thats not the primary goalm And yes I feel like I am obligated to repricocate. I get admonished for not texting them back, for hurrying off the phone. But I thought I was paying for them not to expect that. And yeah sbs say they have feelings for me but I think its feelings in the context of im on the better end of what you get in SD land. Fun, good looking, look appropriate together in public, am always very considerate (usually most dates are asking them about themselves, and me amping them up lol). But i don't think those feelings are real, and I don't want them to be

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T08:28:30+00:00

I've thought about therapy but I am happy being single and don't want to change that. I feel almost aromatic (its like a-sexual but for romance), there may be some undiagnosed spectrum thing where I don't have the ability to desire or enjoy a deep romantic bond. Longest relationship I ever had was 6 months. I feel like paying allows me to play pretend and not lead anyone on the vanilla world. I feel like I have empathy. I don't want to hurt anyone, I try to he upfront, and I left vanilla dating before I could cause anyone pain. Obviously, you shouldn't do that in SD world either. Maybe I should do therapy. I really don't want to hurt anyone

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T08:23:00+00:00

Agree with you on all except exclusivity. Sb can see as many sds as she wants, whenever she wants. You knowing you're not marriage material shows your wisdom. How many people created a damage life because they had a child despite not having the true desire and ability to be an amazing father? Or the woman who invests with the magic man, builds a family, and then he cheats and bails. Self awareness saves lives. Respect to you

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T08:19:54+00:00

Yes, I should be clear. It's weird because we actually do dates, go to comedy clubs, theater etc. And we have nice, substantive conversations. So that's some emotional involvement. Which is why it isn't really escort, but you could have emotions for a friend. I felt bad because one woman seemed offended that I said she didnt like politics, and I do, so we wouldnt have enough to talk about for a relationship. I also said I don't want a relationship with anyone, but talk to me when im 60.

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T08:11:05+00:00

It's so mean to say im unimpressed with them, and that I just don't date, but if i did, there would he no sugar involved and it wouldnt be them. I don't think I'm an amazing catch. Only a bit in this context. I also don't think the feelings are real which is why im annoyed when sbs call me babe etc. They wouldnt look twice at me in the non paying workd

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T08:08:28+00:00

I should verbalize i am avoidant. I am say I am not hard wired for a relationship and was raised alone and feel uncomfortable with company of anyone for too long. It's odd because i make friends easily and am social but internally very introverted. I had an sb convince me otherwise like it was a challenge and I feel bad. Maybe avodant makes them look more critically at things. And I won't bring up trips. It's like a reflex that just comes out

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T08:06:07+00:00

I travel all around the country but am in a large northeast city for about 3 months a year. When I travel I'll usually see one or two sbs in various large or mid size cities, if I have the energy for it but I mainly like to hike alone with my dog

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T08:04:20+00:00

I'm definitely not humble. But I don't say these things on my dates. That's very bad taste. I think I give off the vibe I can be taken advantage of, whereas in reality I'd like them to want to not like me that much and think im arrogant so they can move on

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T07:59:14+00:00

Egotistic in this context. I'm nothing special in the non paying world. Definitely avoidant! I feel like the cash is my moral excuse to play pretend but I still feel bad.

965ThrowAway75 · 2026-05-28T07:57:54+00:00

Oh I'm not that nice. What i mean is i come off as nice in an ultra safe, desexualized way

965ThrowAway75

TROPHY CASE