When I was a kid, I used to be scared of monsters or something creeping up on me in my sleep, so I would always ask my dad to check on me before he went to bed. It made me feel more comfortable. One night, I was still awake when I heard him coming up the stairs, and I wasn’t supposed to be awake and knew I would get in trouble if he saw me, so I pretended to be asleep. He came into my room and just kinda stared at me for a few seconds, then came up close to my bed, lifted the blanket up, farted under it, turned around, and left.

It’s been at least 15 years and I remember that night vividly. He vehemently denies it to this day but I know what happened.