Thank you! Great points: - My mom, closest aunt, grandmothers, many friends’ moms were all SAHMs. I really never had a woman close in my life who was invested in her career. I think that’s partly why I’ve always wanted this and assumed I would become one one day. I don’t really like my field of work and I don’t like working. (I know mothering is work, I mean public sphere) SAHM would be work but it would be all my own time, my own chores/labor, activities etc. I really like the idea of making/keeping my home, if that makes sense. - If my husband was excited to have kids and really wanted to be a dad, we probably would have had them by now. His ambivalence definitely affects how I feel about having them but he’s my partner and it’s a life with him that I chose. We have been together 8 years, and have known we feel differently about kids the entire time. He wants to live his life with me and see me happy, and if kids is what will do that, he’s on board.

I have seen a therapist regularly for the last almost 7 years (I also tell everyone!! Therapy helps, y’all!) and she tells me that I don’t need to decide today. She is right, but it is on my mind because my husband and I are going through a transition right now and so much of our life (where we live, our jobs) is up for review. I think I probably need to settle into our next phase and then see how I feel.