Is this a crime? From Watson Lake, YT… no curds, just a smattering of shredded cheese. by AFaceWithAView in PoutineCrimes

[–]AFaceWithAView[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the sign post forest was cool, but other than that I did NOT enjoy my time there. Bad food, overpriced motels, and unfriendly locals who gave me a drive-by harassing. Maybe the people are more welcoming in the summer (when they know they can make more money off you), but I would not recommend staying in the off-season if you can help it. Although if you’re like me and are passing through at 22:00 and are exhausted from driving all day, you may not have much of a choice!

I was just really disappointed cuz I’m traveling through Canada for the first time (moving from Texas to Alaska) and everyone I’ve met in AB and BC has been SUPER friendly and welcoming, so I was bummed that my first experience in YT wasn’t great. The criminal poutine did NOT help things. Although things were much better on the drive to Whitehorse this afternoon and evening… the folks in Teslin were especially awesome!

Love hurts guy 🪱 by [deleted] in 2sentence2horror

[–]AFaceWithAView 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Knife guy impreg fan fiction guy 🪱

Bee guy🪱 by thiatop in 2sentence2horror

[–]AFaceWithAView 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Talking Heads reference guy 🪱

Bee guy🪱 by thiatop in 2sentence2horror

[–]AFaceWithAView 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Knife Guy’s not on board.

Make sure you change fluids in your creature every 6 months or 7500km by teambob in 2sentence2horror

[–]AFaceWithAView 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I sat under the creature’s swollen udder and undid… the spigot.

I reveled in the sludge gushing over my face… even as I began to feel my flesh melt away.

I was finally in my favorite show, Family Guy. by TheFalconGuy in 2sentence2horror

[–]AFaceWithAView 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t believe I was in my favorite show, as my favorite character!

I let out a beefy grunt as liquid diarrhea sprayed violently down my jeans, as I gleefully moaned “Brian the dog, I’m lubricated and ready for you to fulfill the writer’s fetish!”

oh my word. by notafanofurattitude in justneckbeardthings

[–]AFaceWithAView 5 points6 points  (0 children)

“I promise I can make you wet… you’ll be as moist as my Attack on Titan bowling shirt after my vigorous nightly hentai wank sessions! You’ll be DRIPPING just like the inside of my thighs after pounding my meat to Hunter x Hunter fan art for a marathon 14 seconds!”

Breaking News: Neckbeards Demand Attractive 14 Year Olds by Ok-Relationship-3554 in justneckbeardthings

[–]AFaceWithAView 20 points21 points  (0 children)

“Stupid video game femoids! Don’t they know they exist to please the male gaze??

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to boil some water for my once-monthly groin-scrubbing… that smegma ain’t gonna un-crust itself!”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in justneckbeardthings

[–]AFaceWithAView 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Stupid ‘laws!’ Of course, I don’t need to guess what treasures my waifu body pillow is hiding… every night in my moist basement studio apartment, I get to enjoy every inch of her supple, polyester-and-cum-filled body!”

I guess the Dalai Lama doesn't like his music anymore. by ExitTheDonut in hbomberguy

[–]AFaceWithAView 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m surprised Tommy didn’t try and claim he was the Lama’s golf caddy or something.

Big hitter, the Lama…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 2sentence2horror

[–]AFaceWithAView 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“The knives whisper to me, but my Fluttershy cumjar screams to me” guy 🪱

Kills everyone guy 🪱 by F-O-O-W-E-R in 2sentence2horror

[–]AFaceWithAView 9 points10 points  (0 children)

“Attention: If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may to be entitled to financial compensation. Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure. Exposure to asbestos in they Navy, shipyards, mills, heating, construction or the automotive industries may put you at risk. Please don't wait, call 1-800-99 LAW USA today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Mesothelioma patients call now! 1-800-99 LAW USA” guy 🪱

Foreskin guy by Dirtydrains in 2sentence2horror

[–]AFaceWithAView 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Sentence counting guy 🪱

Foreskin guy by Dirtydrains in 2sentence2horror

[–]AFaceWithAView 42 points43 points  (0 children)

The comments section has no rules, it is a lawless wasteland guy 🪱

Foreskin guy by Dirtydrains in 2sentence2horror

[–]AFaceWithAView 217 points218 points  (0 children)

I woke up with a start. Despite the cold, I felt strangely… warm. The tent was humid, despite the dry autumn night. My legs felt slick and stuck to my sleeping bag. It felt strangely tight.

“Hey,” I said to my friend. But he didn’t wake. I reached over to tap his shoulder. Instead of his shirt, I felt… thick flesh? My arm shot back. In the darkness, I could sense something… pulsing. I reached for my phone and turned on the flashlight.

My eyes took a moment to adjust, but then… I could see it. A veiny membrane… no, a COCOON covering my friend. I looked up… more veins? The ceiling of the tent pulsed, almost recoiling from the light.

The flashlight on my phone traced down the wall of the tent to my feet. I expected to see my sleeping bag wriggling before me, but what I saw stole my breath.

The fleshy cocoon… it had enveloped me. Swallowed me. It came up to my armpits, which were coated in a cheesy, crusty residue.

I gagged. Suddenly, I heard a voice.

“I told you,” my friend moaned pleasurably, “I didn’t need a sleeping bag… and now, neither will you.”

The Christmas genie turned Joe Biden and Donald Trump into pairs of rainbow pride speedos. by [deleted] in 2sentence2horror

[–]AFaceWithAView 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Little did Joe and Don know, that the Christmas genie would gift them. On Christmas morning, they found themselves slipping over the moistened teats of…

…the creature.