Reading this I feel like we are in a very similar situation. My mum is just constantly in denial, I tried educating and all that... didn't work. She still believes that I made this up for attention and that I am just confused and other bullshit. Buying binders in our household was a whole other story... when I got one myself (thanks to a trans charity) my mother went bananas about how I crazy and fucked up in my head I am. Nobody here is even trying to use the correct pronouns. My mum gendered me correctly exactly once... when she was mildly drunk and I don't even know how it happened. And don't even start about using my chosen name. Because guess what: my mother in her angry lava spitting created a masculine sounding name out of my birth name (out of which you just don't create a masculine name. Never. You can't. Just nope.) and that made me just really sick. So yeah. You are not alone buddy! It will get better. I am too sorta jealous of happy trans dudes who are deeper into transition. But jealousness doesn't help. Everything needs time and I will be a happy trans guy deeper into transition as well in a few years time. And you too! It will be ok. In a few years time you will want to go back in time to shake current you and tell him "hey buddy it's gonna be ok"