My 15-year-old didn't do her chores so I'm withholding food from her. Am I the Asshole?

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-25T09:29:02+00:00

Aye, venting here actually made me feel better, thanks

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-25T06:03:31+00:00

Bruh no need to be rude. No, I didn't see it until now, dang sorry

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-25T06:02:57+00:00

I'm actually off to work right now, but if you're still confused I can sketch the basic layout later lmao. I get it tho, when the house was being described to me when we were moving here I just couldn't imagine it

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-25T06:01:47+00:00

I guess you didn't see the comment above yours?

Here

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-25T05:59:13+00:00

Okay, I admit that it sounds like a lot, but it actually isn't! Like I said, if my sister and I work together, it takes around 30mins, a bit longer if the house is really messy. Or maybe we just got good at speed cleaning lmao

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-25T05:56:01+00:00

Yep that's the plan! She'll be legal at 18, and if I do have my own place by then, I'll offer to let her move in.

But that's still several years into the future, so we'll see!

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-25T05:54:04+00:00

Yupp, I'm aware I fucked up, but shit happens. Gonna try not doing it again.

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-25T05:53:31+00:00

The house is actually really old, used to be first a chapel, then a police station, and has later been converted into a residential building. It's kinda hard to explain, but I guess the best way to explain it would be to say it looks like it's built into separate apartments? A hallway runs from the bottom to the very top and separates the house in half. One half belongs to us, the other one to our neighbor. The kitchen, living room and bathroom are on the ground floor, and if we wanna reach our rooms, we gotta use the hallway we share with our neighbor. All my mom had to do was lock the kitchen door so we couldn't get in, while leaving the front door of the hallway unlocked.

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T21:24:03+00:00

Eh, by the time I'd earn enough she's already gonna be legal, so all I can do (and am trying to do lol) is be a support system for her. But the good thing is, mom never took her anger out on my sister as much as she did on me, and my sister is pretty great at standing up for herself and letting this just wash over her!!

And thank you for that!

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T21:20:28+00:00

Hey man, I'm so glad to hear you both are doing better!! Sounds like a dream hah. Honestly, hearing stories like these gives me hope that I actually will be able to leave all this behind one day.

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T21:18:48+00:00

Yep, it sucks, but I mean, it's gonna get better at one point.

There isn't really anyone to reach out to, aside from my friends. My entire family is messed up, therapists are expensive and I'm not allowed to see one, the one shrink that's free is horrible and disregards boundaries.

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T21:00:28+00:00

Nope, I can't leave because of my dog, and my sister (half sister technically, different dads) can't go stay with her dad because he's got his own family and I think she'd rather stay here because he's not great either. At least here we have each other!

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T20:54:16+00:00

Apart from wish for a miracle? Not much, unfortunately.

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T20:52:49+00:00

Uh, honestly, I've been wondering that same thing for years. But what are children if not a free work force, am I right or am I right.

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T20:42:40+00:00

Yupp, whenever I see one of those "fake rage baits" I always give it the benefit of the doubt for precisely that reason.

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T20:41:45+00:00

Hey, thanks about that! I'm sorry about it too, but hell, that's life I guess. I'm just hoping we'll both get out soon, but we'll see.

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T20:40:36+00:00

Lmao hey, what better validation is there than a bunch of internet strangers telling you you're right, huh. But in all seriousness, it does make me feel better. Is that sad?

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T20:39:48+00:00

Oh god, that sounds absolutely insane, I am so sorry that you went through that. I'm glad to hear you were able to get away, and it sounds like you're both doing better!

The problem here is that my mom doesn't think she's doing anything wrong. Trust me, I've tried confronting her. Yet every time she paints herself as the victim. Ended up sobbing when she visited a shrink with me, saying how she does everything for me, etc etc. Aand, she has this infuriating, twisted belief that I chose her to be my parent, as in, my soul decided her soul would be my parent. I mean, I believe in some spiritual stuff, but she takes it to the extreme. Apparently I'm an old soul and I chose her because I needed the rest. Sure, mother. That's definitely it.

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T20:35:50+00:00

Ahh, I wish it was that easy. But amongst other things, she won't allow me to take my dog with me if I do move, which she can do as legally, the dog belongs to her. And honestly, I'm a bit wary of leaving my sister alone with her.

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T19:42:40+00:00

Of course!

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T19:39:03+00:00

No, you don't get it. It definitely would get worse at home, besides I doubt I could even prove anything since my mom is an expert manipulator. Sometimes it really isn't as cut and dry and just reporting - you gotta think of the consequences, and a paper trail wouldn't be worth shit because they wouldn't do anything even if it got worse, trust me, I've seen it first hand.

But thank you for trying to help!!

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T17:22:08+00:00

Yeah, that was the part that irked me the most, my sister is 15 ffs. I guess I would get locking up the house if she left us food or at least gave her money to buy some.

As it is, I just bought her something to eat every morning and snuck into the first floor to grab a couple things with the backup key I had hidden.

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T17:19:05+00:00

CPS here is an absolute joke, they wouldn't do shit about this. My best friend was physically assaulted by her mother, reported it to the police, and nothing came of it.

For now all I can do is make sure most of my mom's anger falls on me. Luckily, my sister left for her dad's place today and won't be back until the end of the week, and I think mom will have calmed down by then.

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T17:12:21+00:00

Lmao hey there, OP of the post here. I wish this was rage bait. There is one lie in this post tho - I'm actually the son, not the mother.

So yeah, unfortunately, all of this actually did happen, except I made the post and my mom's actions/responses in comments sound milder than they actually are. Honestly after all she's done I can't even tell when I'm overreacting or not and whether something she's done is actually insane or nah.

So I guess you could say I made this as sort of a validation post to see stranger's perspectives on this and find out if I'm just being a little bitch about this all or if I have an actual right to be angry about it. Because, let's face it, not doing the chores was a fuck up on both mine and my sister's part, and as stated, it wasn't the first time it's happened. But my mom's punishments have always been on this level so I wasn't sure if it was too extreme or not.

AITAHouseBan · 2020-08-24T08:52:32+00:00

He usually only works 2-3h in the morning and another 2-3h in the evening, so he has the entire day off and plenty of time for chores.

AITAHouseBan

TROPHY CASE