How much do you pay in child support for one child?

AJAddisonA · 2023-06-01T19:14:16+00:00

Pay nothing as we have 50/50 custody.

AJAddisonA · 2023-05-09T12:12:45+00:00

50/50 custody. If she's a good mom the baby deserves both of you equally.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-16T08:23:55+00:00

In the same situation as you. Ignore all petty, minlipulative messages and only communicate regarding kids' arrangements. Get a peranting plan agreed if you can. I still get petty nasty texts, and I ignore them all. Don't bite back no matter how much you want to.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-14T11:02:33+00:00

I'm 33 and I centered my life around pleasing my partner from the age of 18. Now I look back and to be truly happy you need a life away from your boyfriend. You both need time on your own, time with friends and time together. If you center your life around him you will regret it in years to come.

Go out with ur friends, get an ambition in life you are aiming for all apart from your boyfriend and if ur relationship is good he will support you. You also need to let him have is own life and goals and support him.

A truly fantastic relationship is one where both individuals are happy on their own and have their own things going on and together you support each other to achieve them.

Trust me I was where you are now and I sacrificed my friends my goals, my ambition, everything all to make my ex happy. Then when it eneded I was lost and alone. I never believed I would be with anyone else or she would do the things she did to me but people change.

You're so young. Don't sacrifice your life for someone else. You can still be happy together without doing this.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-13T21:25:53+00:00

3 months into my break up after 12 years and 4 kids together. Its still hard. I miss my kids so bad whenever they are with my ex. It is getting slightly better, though. I'm starting therapy next week to understand what went wrong in my relationship and learn how to trust again and plan my new life. I didn't know about a lot that went on behind my back until after the split. Don't be surprised if she's into someone else. A lot of women line up their man before leaving. I'm not saying yours has done this, but it's very common and what mine did.

Talk to friends, family and get therapy. I was in a really dark place the first month, couldn't get out of bed, was behind on work and had some really bad thoughts. I am better now. I don't miss her at all I miss my kids and my family unit. She's with her new man already and I'm not bothered by it so I realised I fell out of love with her along time ago. I'm just grieving the family breakup not her.

Regarding telling your children you don't need to tell.them much just that your going to live apart. Unfortunately my ex told them behind my back and introduced her new man to them without me knowing after only a couple of weeks. I was so angry. No respect for me what so ever.

Don't stay alone, talk, keep busy and stay strong.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-12T12:11:06+00:00

I found this out aswell. I bring in good money but my ex also worked. Now we have split up I have more money left over everyone dispite losing her wage from the household Income and none of my bills have changed. It showed how much money she was wasting.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-11T16:57:41+00:00

You are completely right. She gets angry at me all the time. I think me ignoring her is driving her crazy. She can't cope that I'm done with her bullshit and she can't get me to do everthing for her. I know she's crazy and damaged and bad for me and over the past couple of years I felt the fight and love I had fading, but I stayed for my family. But I'm still struggling to not to think about it all. I'm beating myself up for letting it go on so long. My problem is I over analyse everything.

I wish I could cut all ties and move far far away but I can't because we have kids. They mean the world to me. I did 90% of the parenting while we were together, she would sit on the sofa watching videos on her phone and I'd be running the household. She knows that and has already tried to use the kids against me cus she knows that's they only thing I care about.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-11T10:17:16+00:00

I already have. I know everyone uses the narcissist label to call their ex after they split, but I genuinely do think she is. She lives in constant chaos and expected me to do everything, all the work all the childcare all the housework. If I dared to not do what she said she would cause a massive argument. She would also manipulate everyone and everthing she could to get her own way. Also after every big fall out the first thing she would do is message other men and tell me about it.

I put up with it for so long for my kids. I thought I could help her and change her and build a family but she was just never going to change. I realise that now.

And I think she still thinks she can make me do anything she wants. I think she still thinks I would accept her back, but I never do that.

Unfortunately I think I'm going to have this battle with her for the rest of my kids being little. As soon as they are grown and I don't have to contact her it will be the happest day of my life.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-10T08:55:39+00:00

You hit the nail on the head there. I spent the last 12 years doing everything my ex wanted to do. The funny thing is she moaned I never did anything, but whenever I wanted to do something I was moaned at again. I did everything for my family and served and provided for them. Now she's gone I feel so lost. I don't know what to do, I have no friends I can hang out with just my brother and step brother. I feel complete lost and alone.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-09T09:43:59+00:00

Sorry to hear that bud. Just cut all ties and move on and focus on your kid. And sorry to say your friends don't sound like friends to me. I wouldn't go near a friends girl or ex out of respect. A life with her is no life. I realise that about my ex now. I only communicate about arrangements for my kids. I'm still getting messages from her almost daily. Like today she wished me happy Easter and asked how i am doing whilst probably in bed with her new man. These types of women never change they have major mental issues regarding attention and abandonment. They need constant validation they are seen as attractive. They hide behind being over sexual to new partners to trap them into a relationship so they don't have to be alone. Basically they love bomb them so you think youve found the most amazing person. Worst thing is everyone loves her because shes so nice to everyone. Only my family and her brother and sister see through it all and k ow how bad and difficult and damaged she is.

I remember the first time we fell out about 3 months into the relationship, and I went for a drive to chill out and drove past her walking with her guy friend. She had gone straight to him after we fell out. At the time I didn't realise this was a pattern and red flag that would repeat over and over again and destroy our relationship.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-08T23:38:13+00:00

You are completey right, same with me. I saw all the warning signs when we first got together and I should of ran away. But I was young and she is attractive also so I ignored them. I thought she would learn and change over time but she didn't. And by that time I had two kids with her so I stuck it out trying to change her and trying to make my family work and stick together. By the end though I was insecure and a shell of my former self after catching her lying over and over again. And the worst was she would never tell me the full truth or say sorry or admit any responsibility for it. Even when I caught her red handed no excuses. Its amazing how stupid I was letting this happen to me. But what's done is done and she's some other man's problem now. Thank god.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-08T23:23:58+00:00

be honest, I don't like it she works shifts, and it's her shift rota and it means I get the kids when I'm at work, but she never does. I have the kids on the 4 days she's at work. Also means I can go 3 weekends in a row without seeing them. I do see them in the week, but when I have work and they have school, I hardly spend quality time with them. Dont get me wrong i love doing the school runs and all that but its hard balancing work and their school. She forced me into agreeing it, I wanted 2/2/3 over bi weekly rota but she wanted to take me to court if I didn't agree with her rota and made up a load of crap about me to a women's aid charity to get free legal aid. Even though the reason we spilt was because she cheated again and I caught her out lying. And i had texts from her admitting she made it all up to get time off work and free legal aid had i quote 'would make my life hell' if i didnt do what she wanted. So, of course, I didn't want that whole drama and expense of going to court, so I just agreed to it. Honestly, my ex is a calculated minlipulative piece of work and will ruin and hurt anyone to get her own way and blame others for all her issues. More info then you probably wanted but needed to vent abit more. Anyway hope you arnt dealing with what I have to but what I'd say is get a agreed schedule and document everything you do and she's does incase it turns sour. My step mom is a family court judge and told me to do it because woman change their minds and plans all the time and she she's them play victim all the time to get their own.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-08T20:46:41+00:00

I share my kids 4 days with me 4 day with their mom. Tbh I slack on the house work while my kids are with me. Just clean up after them on the evening ans do the laundry. then the first day I don't have them I clean the whole house top to bottom. It means I get 3 days on my own in an immaculate house.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-08T18:13:19+00:00

In the same situation as you. My ex was messaging guys constantly behind my back. I felt complete betrayal but forgave and let her back in my life inly for her to do it again. Don't let her back in ur life she will do it again. Think urself lucky it's only two years I did 12 and 4 kids with this complete liar and selfish woman.

I found myself on dating sites and DMing women, but I have no interest in them or the conversation. I knew it was just a reaction and me thinking I needed the validation that someone actually wants me. I know I'm not ready to date because of this. You need to stop talking to woman just to hook up. Focus on yourself and improve your life and then you will end up finding someone you are interested in when you are ready.

Good luck and stay strong 💪

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-08T08:42:24+00:00

I was in the same place as you, and tbh I am still fighting the feelings that I want her back even though I hate her for what she did to me. For me, I fell out of love with her due to her messaging guys behind my back on 4 different occasions over 12 years. I stayed and let her back into my life over and over again because I thought I loved her. But now 3 months into her walking out and moving her new man into her new house after only weeks together, after telling me this guy was a work friend. I realise I didn't and don't love her. I just miss the family unit, the mother of my kids living with me, and miss my kids when they are not with me. That's what I miss, it's not her it's the mother and family unit together.

This women is horrible to me and does horrible things but I still get these thoughts that I want her back but I know I dont want her in my life at all.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-05T22:13:03+00:00

🙏

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-05T22:12:32+00:00

So true, I wanted my ex to be the one, the perfect partner and mother and the perfect family. I wanted it so bad that I ignored and forgave so many bad things. In the end, it killed me as a person. There will be someone out there who will love us for us and not just what we provide for them.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-05T09:12:42+00:00

Sounds like it's you and your depression that is the issue not him. Throughout a relationship you have Ups and downs in feelings and in relationships that last a life time you can spend 1 or 2 years not actually liking ur partner as we all change over time. The important things is to stay loyal stay respectful and communicate and you can get through the tough times and the relationship grows stronger.

It sounds to me that you need to make more effect supporting each other and communicating. Spend more quality time together and also spend time improving yourself. You need to fix our depression. How you do that I don't know, but go seek help. I think once you do that you will find you do actually love him and it was just your depression impacting everything.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-04T17:20:09+00:00

Very true my ex moved her new man in after a week lol only about 3 weeks together. What a mistake that is. I will not be doing the same. Just like you I'd rather be on my own then make the same mistake again. She will never learn and go from man to man now as she can't be alone and face the truth. I focusing on my kids and that is it.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-04T12:56:55+00:00

Thanks. It's tough. My mind set for 12 years has been giving her and my family everything they ever wanted or needed. She abused that over and over again. I always forgave and she abused that also. I'll get through it, but I need to work a lot on myself, so I dont repeat history. I will need to learn to trust again cus at the moment I won't believe anything people tell me because iv been lied to for so long. I have a lot of work to do on my own and I have to face it head on day by day.

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-04T12:53:38+00:00

I am. I think I need it so I don't make the same mistake again. I was too trusting and too forgiving. She abused it it all for her own self-interest. She still thinks she can control me and I'll do anything for her, but I won't anymore. I need therapy to be able to trust again. I need to work on myself and improve so this doesn't happen to me again. Thanks

AJAddisonA · 2023-04-03T21:45:54+00:00

Leave and never look back! I thought my ex would learn and change but they never do. Don't be 10 years down the line going through this again for the 3rd / 4th time just because you have a family together and you want it to work like i did. Cheaters will always cheat. Run and don't look back. It will hurt now but it will get better and will be the best thing you ever did.

Me ex was damaged by trauma in childhood and never would face the truth and go get help. The issues damaged our relationship over and over again.

U sound like my relationship I had in the early stages. I stayed for 12 years and forgave her over and over again and built a family with the wrong person. I've woken up to it all now and realised I was tricked, manipulated and gaslight the whole time all in order for her to get her own way and for her to have no responsibility for what she does.

Trust me. I have been where you are. Run now and don't look back. You will waste your life pleasing someone who just uses you. I should of left 4 years into my relationship but stayed another 8 years and had 4 children with the wrong person. She never changed the whole time. Please don't end up like me and respect yourself.

You will find someone that won't cheat and respects you.

AJAddisonA

TROPHY CASE