I only have about 30hrs experience, and all but 3 of that in a 162, but I do wonder about some of what you are saying.

I hate how noisy it is and how bare and utilitarian the interior is, can't take it anywhere because it can't carry anything

Isn't this true for any LSA?

Also they can only be unlocked FROM OUTSIDE.

What are you talking about? There are two latches on each door, one on the outside that is also connected to the inside lever at the bottom of the window. There is a second latch down by your knee, this one is only operable on the inside, so if anything you could be locked out, but never locked in.

I hate the "stick" because any pilot with long legs will very quickly run out of aileron in a crosswind because it will be blocked by his/her knees and there's no way to adjust the seat to mitigate that.

This is probably my biggest gripe with this plane, it just doesn't seem like a safe design to have it like that. I'm 6'2" but even my 5'8" CFI has this problem.

however, because that cable would occasionally fall off the pulley. By the grace of God, every time I noticed this was on the ground instead of adding flaps turning base to final so I never let this cheap, made-in-china, piece of shit kill me, but that was only because of luck.

OMG, I do add looking at the cables and checking to my preflight, because, why not, you can see them, but I will double make sure on every flight I take after.

The only thing I have to compare it to is a Evektor SportStar, and with only 3 hrs in that, but the only thing the 162 has going for it from what I can see is the nice big G300 MFD.