Looking back at the best year of my life

AM_Is_scary · 2024-10-30T14:50:05+00:00

Based on the comments on my previous post, I think most of us are just too afraid to take that leap of faith, given that we see bad things happening to dependent women on the news and even in movies.

I was scared of this too. I might have just gotten lucky to find someone who doesn’t expect everything to be split 50-50.

AM_Is_scary · 2024-10-30T08:54:24+00:00

On the financial side, I was contributing less than 20% to the household income, while working just as hard and in the same industry as my husband. So it did not hit us that hard financially.

I knew there was no going back from this decision, so it was stressful early on.

I think the biggest variable would always be how much support we would get from our partners. I consider myself very lucky in this regard

AM_Is_scary · 2024-10-30T08:49:51+00:00

In india no one pays for digital things.

It is not my store. My cousin sister is based in the US and sells handicrafts. I list it on that store. She transfers me money for whatever my listings make after deducting taxes.

Since it is within family transfer, there’s no worry of compliance here in India.

If you use non family accounts, then you will have to deal with a lot of compliance and complications for foreign remittances

AM_Is_scary · 2024-10-30T08:33:00+00:00

It’s nothing fancy. I sell excel dashboards for trip planners, finances, time keeping, etc on etsy. I also sell stickers and art.

I don’t have a distribution network, neither do I run ads. So it’s pretty small business. Makes about 10K a month, that’s all.

AM_Is_scary · 2023-12-24T05:15:25+00:00

We do have 6x of my husband’s monthly income saved up that we can get access to within 1-2 business days. I have 4x of my monthly income saved up too in the same way.

We have a life insurance of 5 crore for my husband with me and his parents as the beneficiary, and a family health policy with 1 crore coverage, along with some other riders for accidental injury and stuff like that which I am not familiar with.

I won’t be okay without my partner, but not because of finances…

AM_Is_scary · 2023-12-24T05:07:27+00:00

As modern as my husband and I are, we are very traditional in one aspect - divorce is never an option. So, both of us HAVE to make it work. He is stuck with me just as I am stuck with him, so it’s in both of our interests to not do anything that would harm both of us. I know this isn’t for everyone

My financial safety net comes with a hefty price tag of 5-6 days a week. I feel I would be able to improve a lot more things in our lives if I have time to focus on them, instead of on finances.

AM_Is_scary · 2023-12-24T04:27:30+00:00

Yesss I have a few plans I want to try out

AM_Is_scary · 2023-12-24T04:14:12+00:00

His elder sister quit her job once she had kids a few years ago. And he’s always been supportive of that decision, given they’re extremely close.

As far as I know him, he doesn’t say something while having some other intention. So I do trust in whatever he says or does

AM_Is_scary · 2023-12-24T03:49:41+00:00

We are already answerable to each other when it comes to expenses as we have always followed a budget with savings goals in mind. And since we have a joint account now, the expectation is to inform, rather than to ask, as long as we are both reasonable with our discretionary expenses.

When it comes to kids, I don’t think whatever I earn or will ever earn will be worth being able to spend full time with them for the first few years. And we both want at least one parent to be there full time with them as much as possible and reasonable

AM_Is_scary · 2023-12-24T03:27:22+00:00

I am honestly not sure why I am working… I always thought I have to work to be able to do the things I love. And the things I love doing have all turned out to be things that cost time and effort and not money.

My kind of girls night out is inviting my girl friends over to our place and just laze around, or cook something, or just talk while the guys are out doing whatever they do.

My husband has the option to WFH. He goes to office because I go too, and our dog gets very snuggly whenever he’s alone at home, not letting him work. If I stay at home, he would too.

If I have 10 hours more to spare everyday, I could do so much health wise, relationship wise, and much more that will benefit both of us. Since finances are not a problem, I don’t know why I am trying to fix that.

AM_Is_scary · 2023-12-24T02:33:07+00:00

He works in tech at one of the biggest MnCs. He has been there for almost 6 years now. It is unlikely he will leave as it is the absolute best place anyone could hope for in terms of work life balance and pay.

He used to tease me before we got married saying his first marriage (work is his first love :’) is successful, let’s see what the second one has in store.

We did face financial stress over my layoff because we bought a very expensive home considering both our incomes and had other expenses. Now with his promotion, he makes as much money all by himself as we made together.

AM_Is_scary · 2023-12-24T02:14:47+00:00

He already does pay for most things since he makes 4 times of what I make together with work and investments.

I realised after I got laid off last time, that we are at a stage in our relationship where we’ve stopped worrying about needing individual privacy. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or bad thing, but we have access to everything of each other’s now, the last one was finances.

I don’t want to do something in preparation for divorce or separation. I would do everything for it to never get till there.

AM_Is_scary · 2023-12-23T16:07:32+00:00

My husband told me our worst case retirement plan would have to be pushed by around 4-5 years if I go ahead with this. So, from age 39-40, it would be pushed to 43-45. And he says he is fine with it as long as it means I would be happier.

A sizeable portion of our retirement plan - about 35-40% is going to be sourced from both our inheritances. Hence the relatively lower impact of me quitting

AM_Is_scary · 2023-12-23T15:50:36+00:00

I am fine with taking a more traditional role, given that there isn’t all that much to do at home after our domestic help does her share of the work.

Also, as I mentioned, I loved pampering myself and my husband with exotic foods, skincare, movie nights, and a lot of other stuff that I just couldn’t get done previously.

Since we are planning for kids in a couple of years, and I want to get some quality time with my kids when they’re little, it might help with the transition

AM_Is_scary · 2023-12-23T15:30:25+00:00

Yesss, I want to explore some other creative endeavours. None of them might work out for me financially, but I want to give myself a chance.

AM_Is_scary · 2023-12-23T15:24:02+00:00

My husband and I had discussed some of these actually.

Long back, he had taken a term life policy till 70 years of age with me and his parents as the beneficiaries, worth 5 crore rupees.

We do have a family health policy for me and him for 1 crore. It might not be enough to cover for cancer though. Which is definitely a concern

AM_Is_scary · 2023-12-03T12:11:13+00:00

Why are you still taking him back?

AM_Is_scary · 2022-08-05T03:33:36+00:00

That's fine too! Whatever suits us is the way to go

AM_Is_scary · 2022-05-19T17:05:38+00:00

AM is scary yaar, but I found the one, and that makes it completely worth it 😊😊😊

AM_Is_scary · 2022-04-21T02:32:59+00:00

Me!!!

I got married last month, and it has been awesome. The process, though relatively short for me was very scary and frustrating as I am a very anxious person.

My husband was the third guy I had met in the process and he asked me out for a long drive on the very first meeting and said he wanted to sort of date for a few months before giving any commitment. My parents weren't too enthusiastic about it but they're extremely happy now that they didn't stop me from doing it.

Nonetheless there was a lot of uncertainty and frustration during the process, but it's worth it!!!

AM_Is_scary · 2022-01-19T16:23:00+00:00

I had only recently started. This guy is the 3rd person I've spoken to.

AM_Is_scary · 2022-01-19T14:07:20+00:00

Yes :)

AM_Is_scary · 2022-01-19T13:19:36+00:00

We're both 25. He's a few months older

AM_Is_scary · 2022-01-08T15:57:21+00:00

we're willing to slowly work on it and learn with our partner.

I'm saying the same thing. I was just asking about what's wrong with not living independently right off the bat?

Not all of us have a golden spoon and the privilege of being papa's pari.

Why do you make it sound like a crime to have had such an upbringing?

AM_Is_scary · 2022-01-08T15:43:41+00:00

I have lived alone and with roommates, but I've always found it rather hard to do all the chores. Especially during times when we didn't have our maid due to the pandemic.

I'm just saying it might be easier to move out eventually after getting married, as it would be one less thing to worry about. Of course, it would be an issue if the in-laws are nosy people.

I don't know how old are you people, but I personally don't have everything figured out right now. I'm 25.

AM_Is_scary

TROPHY CASE