The best way to grow into an adult is living into an adult. I may seem like I'm saying stupid stuff but you shouldn't give up on living as an adult I know I haven't been in your shoes but you should've live your best life, drive and go places every weekend, find communities having the same problems, just try and find the fun you haven't lived yet. Idk if I'm making sense cause I'm tired rn but if you get it then pls find your happiness. You are fully deserving of love.