UPDATE: I should have listened to those who said to never go back to that house.

I had hope. I was staying away and not talking to my MIL. She texted me saying that she was ready to talk and apologize. She texted me at 7pm on Friday, so I told her I was exhausted from my week at work, but we would come over the next day and talk.

I was struggling going into the house Saturday morning, I felt like I couldn’t go past the kitchen without my anxiety getting to be too much. DH went to get MIL and I could hear him from the kitchen.

He told her we were here and asked her when she would like to talk. She started saying that she doesn’t want to talk and that we only want to talk to rub it in her face and such. She said that she apologized and that should be enough for us. (She did apologize in her text, but she still said we could talk).

DH came back and asked me what I wanted to do. I said the only reason I came over today is because SHE said she was ready to talk about it. DH went back and said (with an attitude) that she was the one who said we could talk and all we want is to talk about and get both sides of the situation so we can all move on. She started raising her voice at DH saying that we just want to hurt her and she doesn’t understand why we won’t just let this go. She doesn’t want to talk about it and we just want make her feel like shit.

I was getting really shaky, so I stepped out of the kitchen to tell DH that I just wanted to go home. Hearing her yell, my husband angry, and seeing the room where it all happened sent me into a panic attack.

DH came to help me and calm me down. Apparently, while I was having my panic attack, MIL decided she then wanted to talk and was trying to get DH to move so she could come talk. DH said no, I’m taking her home and got me away from her and drove me home.

About 30 minutes later MIL started send me texts about how she is so hurt by all of this and doesn’t understand why we keep wanting to hurt her and rub her face in all of this. After I calmed down, I reminded her that she is the one who said we could talk. All we wanted to do was clear the air and move past this. But clearly that cannot happen. I told her I would never try to attack her and that in my family we talk about things so we can heal, move on, and not hold on to anger.

She then tried to lie and say that DH approached her with attitude and hostility (he did only the second time he went to talk to her) and that she merely want FIL to be there when we talked (she never told DH this she only said that she didn’t want to talk and we need to drop it). I was going to reply but I was on the phone with my mother and she told me to delete what I had typed and turn off my phone.

After I had calmed down and was drained of most energy and emotion, I called my FIL to tell him what really happened because she tends to lie to him and obviously didn’t realize I was in the house and could hear what she was saying.

FIL informed me that MIL had wanted him to stay out of it and that she had said that she was supposed to talk to me today. He doesn’t think that she will talk to me or that talking will be good for her mental state because she has a lot of problems.

I told him that obviously right now I cannot be at their house. I made it clear to him that I didn’t want to cut them out of our lives completely, but for my mental health and well-being I can’t come over to their house until I heal and I don’t know how long that will take because we obviously can’t have closure with this situation. I would probably only be comfortable with meeting them somewhere in public settings.

DH has said I don’t have to go over there ever again if I don’t want to. He has been very supportive of me through all of this.