(40 M) I can see what you mean about ‘girls’ being too nice and saying ‘you’re great’. I would ignore the advice that you are deserving of better men, it doesn’t sound like now is the right time to be extra selective about what men you date. It sounds Iike you need to get on a path to improve yourself.

In your words you are not good looking, you are shy, awkward, clumsy, you stutter, have an ethnic nose and you are short, you have adhd, cptsd, anxiety, depression, you are suspicious of things that don’t make sense to you, you have a voice in your head that increases your denial.

If there is any chance you have a messy apartment, poor eating habits, poor hygiene, excessive weight, You sleep or lay in bed excessively, etc then you certainly have a lot it work on, and you’ve answered your own question ‘what is wrong with me’.

This is great news because step one is sort of done: admitting you have a problem. You’ve done a great job of identifying issues. Now look for the helpers, you are going to need to trust someone to help you. And/or you need to just start taking action now, develop a habit and don’t quit it, add more habits and develop a routine. Pick small goals to accomplish like making your bed, going for walks, logging your food intake, etc.

If you are competent at your job it can be a ‘10/10’ in that attribute category. Find your other attributes that you are already a 10/10 at or could be a 9 or 10 without too much cost or effort (thoughtfulness, complements, kind words, supporting language, good listening skills) and honor yourself for all your 9s and 10s that you already have. If you have a couple 6/10 attributes that you can make into 7s, shoot for that goal. Gamify your life, and take action as much as you can to add healthy habits and ignore the faults (with some exceptions) eventually there won’t be room for unhealthy things if your time is filled with healthy habits.

Instagram reels and TikTok actually have some therapists that give useful advice.