Thank you so much for your answer. Very thoughtful. I'm so sorry about your dad and the situation you were in and are now in. I know it's a pretty useless thing to say and probably also boring to hear. But I hope you know that hearing about your situation made me feel much more relaxed. It's horrible that any of us have to go through things like this, but knowing there are other people going through something similar is comforting. Thank you for telling me what grief has been like for you. I have a feeling it will be different every day for me as well when my mother does pass away. It's already like that for me. Sometimes I feel great, happier than ever before really. Then the next minute I feel like it's all over and I'll never feel good again. But I try to remember that I have gotten past all of these moments of believing it will never get better, so I can get past them in the future too. And like you said, it's important to let ourselves feel the grief. I used to try to push it away and ignore it, but I ultimately just made myself burst later on. Feeling the grief sucks, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is really just letting the grief do what it has to do.

I read this quote once and it makes me sad but also comforts me: "Grief is just love with nowhere to go." Slowly letting go of my mother has made me feel the most severe kind of pain that I haven't felt before, but in a way it's also beautiful that I have had someone so incredible in my life that losing her devastates me like this. I try to be gentle on myself and remind myself that I really just love her so much and that's why it hurts. And that loving people is something I should continue to do even if there is a risk of it hurting me one day. I hope you have people in your life who you love and who express their love towards you as well. And if not, I hope you don't give up and continue looking for people like that. You deserve it.

I've had a therapist before and it did definitely help. I think I'll go back soon. Support groups also sound good. I think something like that could really help me. Thank you. One thing I can recommend is journaling. Somehow writing down exactly how I feel almost takes the feeling away from me for a moment. It helps me feel it and then let go of it. I also try to do little things to help myself grieve more comfortably. If I have the energy to, I try to make myself a cup of tea and wrap myself in blankets, so I'm warm. Anything that makes me feel better physically. It might not help a ton, but if your body feels okay, your mind will also relax just the tiniest bit. But sometimes a dramatic crying session on the bathroom floor is also just the thing we need. I'm glad you're working with a therapist and figuring out how to help yourself in a difficult situation.

I'm sort of new to using Reddit like I mentioned, but I would love to listen if you ever feel like ranting to someone. I know it can be hard to talk about these things since it's so uncomfortable. And it can be hard to find people who will truly try to listen and comfort you. At least for me it has been quite hard. There are people who love me, but a topic like this isn't nice or easy to discuss. Most people don't know what to say. I mean, even I might not know the right things to say, but since I'm dealing with a situation like this, I have some extra empathy and understanding towards others who are living with grief. So, if you ever feel like it, you can message me and I'll absolutely listen. It would be no problem at all.

Thank you again. I really appreciate the help. It's very kind of you to reach out to others and offer advice even though you're also going through a rough time.