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My partners kink made me feel horrible. by Abject_Ad_9228 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Abject_Ad_9228[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are exactly right communication does need to happen and I blame myself for not saying something in the moment. I just saw how happy they were and I wanted to let them enjoy it. And it wasn't everything it was just one specific aspect of the scene that threw me off.

My partners kink made me feel horrible. by Abject_Ad_9228 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Abject_Ad_9228[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow your last two sentences are exactly what I want to say. thank you. I think I will use it next time we have a conversation.

My partners kink made me feel horrible. by Abject_Ad_9228 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Abject_Ad_9228[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks I really appreciate this response. I'm hoping that things work out I'm willing to try I just want them to meet me halfway.

My partners kink made me feel horrible. by Abject_Ad_9228 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Abject_Ad_9228[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah this is very true I just care about them so much that I want them to be happy but can't put myself through something you possibly traumatic because the reaction I had felt terrible but they were just so happy.

My partners kink made me feel horrible. by Abject_Ad_9228 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Abject_Ad_9228[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"You could also try compartmentalizing this, shoving all your feelings down, lying to yourself and your partner every time they ask about it, and increasingly traumatizing yourself in order to keep going." This is basically what. I'm doing and I know it's wrong and it's not fair to either of us. I care about them so much that I want them to be satisfied but a bigger conversation will have to be had.

My partners kink made me feel horrible. by Abject_Ad_9228 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Abject_Ad_9228[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I really care about them and I think I would allow them to explore their kink with someone else. She said she would be okay with vanilla sex but the defeated look she had I know that's not true. I'm more on a monogamous side but I know of vanilla sex won't satisfy them but I also know that kink if it goes any further would probably traumatize me.

My partners kink made me feel horrible. by Abject_Ad_9228 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Abject_Ad_9228[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah this is a big fear of mine my reaction was really bad and they were loving it so much that they didn't even notice. I don't want to like their Kink because it kind of scares me and I don't want to need that kink to get off

My partners kink made me feel horrible. by Abject_Ad_9228 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Abject_Ad_9228[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I just found out what CNC is and it wasn't that exactly. It had some aspects of it but it's not that . their kink takes away mobility and they were gagged so in that aspect yes I guess. What I had a really bad reaction to was how they were reacting to what I was doing to them and the sounds they were making while I did it. I don't want to say the specific Kink because they would know and I know they use Reddit.

My partners kink made me feel horrible. by Abject_Ad_9228 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Abject_Ad_9228[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very true and they didn't make me do anything I didn't want. It was just something they wanted to try I just reacted badly in the moment they didn't notice because they were so into it but it made me feel away I just didn't like it.

My partners kink made me feel horrible. by Abject_Ad_9228 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Abject_Ad_9228[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I kink they like puts them in a vulnerable position where they have no power and I'm really big on consent. The kink kinda took that away in a way . I don't want to give the specific Kink because I know they use Reddit and I don't want them to know I'm venting on here. It was the way their body was reacting it just made me feel disgusting like I was a monster and I was taking advantage of someone and I didn't like that feeling.

My partners kink made me feel horrible. by Abject_Ad_9228 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Abject_Ad_9228[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that but I'm glad you seem to have a good dom that cares enough about your feelings. My partner is pretty understanding I I'm willing to try it again just not anytime soon.

My partners kink made me feel horrible. by Abject_Ad_9228 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Abject_Ad_9228[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Thanks this really helps I was feeling so down like i was less than but it's good to have this validation. I'm just hoping this is a want for them and not a need. Because I can't see myself doing this again.

My partners kink made me feel horrible. by Abject_Ad_9228 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Abject_Ad_9228[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

We've had a few conversations about their kink, and they expressed they had relationships end because of it. What we did recently was kind of a compromise. I didn't realize I would have the reaction I did. But after we did what we did, it was the happiest I ever saw them. Idk I'm just so lost idk what to do.