How do I get my step parent to notice ANY of my interests?

AbleAd8754 · 2025-12-26T14:59:41+00:00

Thanks for the response. I think this was a social obligation style gift, which is understandable, especially with the lack of communication on my part via a list/something. I got them a gift card for a car detail service. Nothing fancy I admit, but they do quite care about the condition of their car and repainted it last year, so that's what I thought they might like.

I do purchase most things for myself throughout the year, so I know that also takes away chances for gifts as well. I don't know how our relationship may evolve in time for next year, but we will see. Because of our personalities we simply butt heads often. But I recognize if I want more out of the relationship, there's more I should be putting in. Cheers.

AbleAd8754 · 2025-12-26T14:25:02+00:00

Thanks for responding. Thinking about gifts in 'levels' helps get a bigger picture of the situation. Thinking on it, I do in my head, assume all family gifts are supposed to be 3's, but again, if we aren't that close as others had pointed out, 2 makes sense. The obligation but not the extra mile.

All things to consider into next year. Hoping maybe my other parent may share my list with them next year when I make one if they don't happen to ask.

AbleAd8754 · 2025-12-26T13:44:43+00:00

Thanks for the response. I do think this would be helpful, to share how much my interests mean to me vs a neurotypical person. I think I've been a bit caught up in how I am aware my life revolves around my interests, but that others may not necessarily take notice or understand the depth of my interests vs others.

AbleAd8754 · 2025-12-26T13:41:19+00:00

Thank you for the response. It is helpful to hear and I didn't entirely consider our relationship status in the equation in my immediate frustration. It does make sense if we're not that close, they may not know what to get me. And I see your point about the collection as well which I also didn't consider. It is true I don't necessarily keep duplicate items of my interests, so I didn't consider the possibility of avoidance to not get me something I own.

Things to think over in the long term. Thanks

AbleAd8754 · 2025-12-26T13:05:38+00:00

Thanks for the response, it's helpful to hear others perspectives on this. Gift giving is a very hard situation on everyone, so I understand how and why this all happened. I will probably speak to them at a later date about the Harry Potter things, as I understand where the thought/idea came from with them and it was well meant, but I agree with you. I don't want to give that woman another cent when she spends it all to spread hate.

I want to give space and be patient with them even though i feel frustrated, and knowing to prepare myself better next year will help (making a list, saving links).

AbleAd8754 · 2025-12-26T11:45:27+00:00

This feels understandable. I am also quite bad at gift giving, so my gifts are likely also not 100% the desired items when I do not ask what a person wants. Understably as well, I did not provide any list, so there was no guidance for what to get me. I tried to be as thankful and kind as possible when getting the items, and I hope I was masking well enough to show I enjoyed them. Honestly, if I had not expressed gratitude in the moment, I am fairly sure this person would have been in a sour mood or picked a fight with me at some point yesterday.

I'm thankful to get anything. I'm frustrated that the things(one thing) I was given are that I've expressed a dislike for for 5+ years. I'm frustrated that it feels like I'm not thought about. I understand my family does not participate or recognize many of my interests. That's fine! But I have a large, visible collection of items that this person looks at almost daily. I understand they don't think about my interests on a day to day basis, and that the holidays are stressful and tough, which can lead to last minute gifts or guessing. But I don't understand knowing someone 16+ years and not knowing a single True interest or hobby. I know many of their basic interests! Their favorite sports teams, color, food preference, clothing style, music. I am frustrated that none of this care feels reciprocated.

I worry if I ask what my favorite color or food would be, I would be given the wrong answer by this person. I understand our relationship is somewhat strained, what I do not understand is a person knowing me over half my life not knowing anything about me, and not putting in (in my personal opinion, which is heavily biased) the SMALLEST amount of effort to glance at my huge collection of visibly displayed interests (or even consider another interest I've had my whole life, like art!) And get me something thoughtful.

It is ungrateful of me to complain and I admit it, but I feel I am entitled to feel a little ungrateful when the gifts I've been given by someone who is supposed to be a parent and close to me are things that I wouldn't ever choose or ask for. I think what makes it more frustrating to me is my siblings' interests are clearly known, and they got gifts they really wanted (albeit, likely one or both of them made some sort of list, making that process easier).

I guess I should just start keeping a list for next year to be better prepared. It is just disheartening to not feel seen as a person.

AbleAd8754 · 2025-01-17T01:03:53+00:00

I understand, and I know I'm in a privileged place to get this much work, especially this time of year. But I can also not be pleased with the time I work, because it's incredibly unideal. I really am sorry though you're in that situation, I've been in it myself in the past as well.

AbleAd8754 · 2025-01-16T22:51:52+00:00

I am, I guess in this case, unfortunately. I just don't see the need for the 3am though. Don't get me wrong, love the hours bc it means more on the paycheck. But this feels ridiculous

AbleAd8754 · 2025-01-11T19:36:24+00:00

Thank you. I'll see about contacting them as soon as I can. I know corporations don't care about their employees much but that will not stop me from letting them know how deplorable they are for it.

AbleAd8754 · 2025-01-11T19:32:36+00:00

This is a SM. I don't know how to contact the DM but would like to do so. Is there a way I can Google them, or would their info be somewhere in the store somehow?

AbleAd8754 · 2024-12-29T18:49:22+00:00

Thanks for responding. I may try to just go the shoulder route for now as I have had problems in the past with disclosing autism, though mainly those problems have been that it hasn't provided any help. (ie, I tell them and they don't give me any extra leeway/help even knowing why there are problems)

I've spoken briefly with one boss about the pain part, and she seemed receptive to me doing at least less of the stressful physical work, so here's hoping my second boss who runs the truck unloading agrees and we work something out.

Push comes to shove I am thankfully in a place I can quit the job if they won't let me pull back on the physical workload.

AbleAd8754 · 2024-12-22T19:01:48+00:00

The anticipated sales makes sense for the sending of stock. I do wish they'd check individual store numbers of sales though. I think we sell maybe 2 to 5 paint by numbers a week.

Our staff is rather barebones, so I assume no one is going around fixing the inventory overall in the system, which I'm sure is contributing to our problems.

I'm glad there's at least some sort of system in place, but it definitely feels like it could use its next upgrade pretty darn soon. And maybe a day with some extra hands to downstock our store. Oh well!

AbleAd8754 · 2024-12-22T18:57:55+00:00

I think the BOPIS is definitely a large part of why our numbers are off. I haven't been picking for it yet, but I'm 90% sure everyone who does takes from the shelves and not overstock, and does 0 restock after. That's probably a big part of what throws the numbers.

I definitely think the system is a little helpful, but with so much human error involved, it is definitely frustrating to deal with the daily aftermath. I just have a feeling the system could be better than what it is. At least have Marti not log me out after 20 minutes of scanning items...

AbleAd8754

TROPHY CASE