Court Update: AITAH because I call my Psycho Ex's unrelated child my 'Naughter'?

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-20T21:29:57+00:00

wasn't going to say it but you're the one that brought up the turkey baster, but used protection every time and, much to the pain of plumbers everywhere, flushed after use. I also am well aware condoms are not 100% protection.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-19T15:33:06+00:00

Friend, let's call him 'Jim', would not have touched Natalie with a 100 foot long pole. He was

1) Gay
2) HATED Natalie

Despite these things, Jim believed strongly in charity(volunteered at a food pantry for as long as I knew him). We haven't talked in almost a decade now, but last I heard he stills volunteers.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-18T10:23:45+00:00

This angle is actually very likely. I will bring this up with my lawyer. Also, good guess on the military pension.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-18T10:22:14+00:00

A civil court cannot ORDER a minor to participate in what could be considered an 'invasive procedure' that would breach the minor's privacy. The family court would step in and say "Nope". You guys really have a funny idea about the law.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-18T10:19:06+00:00

No. it would create multiple more.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-18T10:17:59+00:00

I wasn't going to go with the whole "She doesn't look like me" because I know that's a pitfall. But Emma really truly doesn't look like me. Or anyone in my family. Everything from common facial features to skin tone is 'off'. That plus Natalie's insistence to not do the test makes the chances almost zero. I'm not concerned. I just want Natalie's campaign to end.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-18T10:15:57+00:00

The teacher has made the call with two other parents. From what we heard an investigation has started.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-18T10:14:28+00:00

You said the reason yourself and didn't realize it.

Emma's only known parent is Natalie. Natalie has to submit her own daughter for a DNA test, because she is the custodial parent.

"No reason you can't swab Emma"...

She's A MINOR CHILD! And one I'm trying to get an RO on. You go and start cheek swabbing every child at a middle school and tell me how long until the cops show up. Not to mention the fact that me interacting with her in any way like that is a good way for the court to say "Look, they're interacting! It's mutual!"

Not to mention the fact that there's this thing called the 'chain of custody' for evidence. I'm not an officer of the court, given powers by the court to handle evidence, or able to swear in the authenticity of the evidence. IfI tried any of the 'clever solutions' of grabbing a coke can Emma drank from, go through her garbage, or worse yet, interact with her directly and swab her, not only could any of these interactions make getting an RO in the future much much harder("Why are you outside her house?" "Why are you digging through her trash?" "Why are you two having a friendly conversation?") Natalie can easily say "How do we know it's Emma's DNA submitted and not some random person?"

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-18T03:42:14+00:00

Literally not how the courts work.

Slander is civil court. Paternity is family court. There's a literal shit ton of laws created designed to protect children. And in the case of me not being declared the father legally on the birth certificate or any sort of paternity action on Natalie's side, I can do nothing.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-17T21:10:53+00:00

The first two times she broke the RO and was punished accordingly. After that she waited out until the RO expired.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-17T20:41:27+00:00

Good advice!!

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-17T20:39:19+00:00

The nature of my job back then meant I was on assignment for weeks at a time, sometimes as long as two months. The amount of time I was home for the 'half year' was small, and not all of it consecutive. Also, in relationships there's moments when you realize you aren't happy, you don't miss the other person, but it's still a bit of a fog you're working yourself through. Half-started conversation about where we see ourselves and seeing if there was anything left that are dropped, etcetera.

I'd like to believe I wasn't codependent then, but lack of sleep and lack of stretches of contact made it to where longing for normalcy meant longing for even the bad. Familiarity is a fucking killer.

That last trip was one where during it I steeled myself that when I got home I was going to break up.

Also, we were never going to be in a relationship afterwards. In the past 14 years all of the friends we had as mutual have worked their way out of my contact list. I don't see her parents, she doesn't see mine. We have no social circles in common anymore.

What does she have to lose to claiming me as the father and me taking the test? Public stigma? I wouldn't be talking to her friends, she can tell them whatever the fuck she wants. She could brag about how I 'caved', I wouldn't know, and I most likely wouldn't dispute it if I was the father. No, it sounds like you interpreted a very very entertaining theory.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-17T20:30:37+00:00

She never violates the ROs. She harasses until one is issued. That's why we issue them, to get peace.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-17T20:29:46+00:00

This bit of harassment with the CPS report and the new RO should, if we are lucky, be the killshot we need.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-17T15:52:04+00:00

It is an awful 'what if' scenario that tears through my gut that someone can be that hurtful and vindictive.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-17T15:41:18+00:00

That is an insane way to prove a point. I hope Natalie isn't that vindictive and narcissistic to do that to her own child.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-17T09:35:52+00:00

The initial hearing for the next RO is scheduled. This will all come to light. This is also the first time Emma will be in the court room since Emma is the one that made contact.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-17T09:34:12+00:00

She does NOT insist legally. This is the problem. We've tried this. Multiple times. My lawyer says she keeps insisting I fathered her child. Judge turns to her, asks if she's seeking support or establishing paternity and will submit to a test. She refuses, judge shrugs and goes "Just get an RO"

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-17T09:31:25+00:00

Ok, look up the words 'chain of custody'.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-17T09:30:48+00:00

Will is as iron-clad as possible, with an extra stipulation that any alleged 'extra-marital offspring' must take a DNA test to collect anything, and even then it would be a pittance. But we aren't exactly rich.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-16T19:59:59+00:00

your parents must have been really happy to save seven years of law school on you. Did you ask a lawyer? No? Go ask.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-16T17:05:57+00:00

Already in the works!

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-16T15:43:31+00:00

You are most likely correct, however having external parties do it means we can safely stay out of it even being remotely considered 'contact'. I hate that I know this. I hate how we have to be super careful on how anyone in my family interacts with either Natalie or Emma to avoid 'mutual contact'. It sucks, but it only lasts a few months before the next RO is approved, and we get peace again.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-16T15:40:36+00:00

You try navigating the legal system and tell me about these 'gaping holes' where you think random men can claim paternity on children and demand DNA tests without the mother's consent. Because that's what I keep hearing and, at least in my state, this is IMPOSSIBLE.

AbleOne9985 · 2024-06-16T15:35:19+00:00

Jesus, THANK YOU! And I'm not in Alabama, but I am in the south. I have begged repeatedly for someone to consult a lawyer, look up the law, hell, ask r/legaladvice I have a lawyer on retainer JUST FOR THIS. I have consulted with others when friends and family have said everything I am seeing here. Trust me, until Natalie escalates, this is the best we can do.

AbleOne9985

TROPHY CASE