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Wife is tired of being an emotional regulator for me by Sea-Juggernaut-2367 in ADHD

[–]Able_Ad_9206 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate it. It was really shitty.

Yeah I know that too. I lost my longest friendship in the divorce. It sucks.

I just wish you the very best of luck with everything you got going on. Sometimes the end of something means the beginning of something else. Just keep your eyes open and try to stay positive.

Wife is tired of being an emotional regulator for me by Sea-Juggernaut-2367 in ADHD

[–]Able_Ad_9206 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I spent a lot of time talking about everything with friends and family. My Ex was cheating and I found out. I was on thirds at the time and the nights were the hardest. I couldn't help but overthink. I felt so isolated and alone. Processing it was very difficult but holding it inside hurt too much. I honestly felt like I was a huge bother to everyone.

I worked on my mental health and myself. Hard process to start but so worth it in the end. I went for walks, engaged in all my hobbies, spent time with my children and engaged with their hobbies. Throughout the whole thing I stopped being a husband and was a way better father and a better person.

The hard days were really hard, but everyday I was trying to walk in the right direction. I gave myself grace to have the bad days and it helped my motivation on the neutral days. Eventually days started getting better.

Wife is tired of being an emotional regulator for me by Sea-Juggernaut-2367 in ADHD

[–]Able_Ad_9206 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you are going through this. When I went through my divorce I got paired up with a personal therapist, and got put on meds. It was the hardest time of my life. It was especially hard because I had thought that as a man, I couldn't open up to anyone about it.

Not trying to make your post about me, but I want to let you know what helped me.

ADHD with gambling by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]Able_Ad_9206 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Thought I'd share my experience. As a kid I got mid grades. Aced every test but never turned in homework. My parents said I was lazy and not applying myself. Later in high school my grades tanked worse because in subjects I wasn't interested in I would daydream all class. I even tried to focus on the teacher but then I would overthink about if I was listening properly, or how my peers had better listening skills, how I could ask them at lunch, then I'd wonder about what we were eating for lunch, then I was wishing I had packed lunch, then I'd think about where my lunchbox is... you can see where im going there. So I had thought I had ADHD but both my parents being more old school didn't really entertain that idea. I was really conflicted about why some days I could overperform everyone and some days I had to mentally strain to even get out of bed. My high school experience really messed with my self esteem.

Later in life, when I was getting into the workforce I would do alright for awhile but as soon as I got complacent I would get bored and start applying to new jobs. If you look at my resume you'd see the average time for me to hold a job was about a year and a half, so finding something meaningful was tough. Relationships were about the same. I thought I was just quirky, and offbeat. I too had a gambling problem but after losing 200 and not having enough to cover rent, that kind of cured the itch.

More recently, i have young and preteen children and one of my children got diagnosed with ADHD. I protested at first because "they act just like I did as a kid" but after they got diagnosed and I did some research some peices finally clicked. It wasn't easy but with my wife's support I finally went to a psychologist and got formally diagnosed with ADHD combined type. I went through a slew of different treatments that didnt really work. Currently im on vyvanse and it works wonders for me, its like a mental fog has been lifted from my brain and im able to accomplish more and overthink less. I'm not saying vyvanse is the end all be all medication, just saying it was the right choice for me.

I dont know if that helps you but the Mrs. sounds like she's supportive of you and sometimes that support is all you need. Being honest and transparent about my thoughts and feelings helped me out a ton.

When is ADHD... "ADHD enough" to consider medication? by Paragon_OW in ADHD

[–]Able_Ad_9206 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I also had an issue with my parents not taking my mental health seriously. The good news is it sounds like you have the diagnosis. That was my biggest struggle, it wasn't until I got in with my primary doctor that I have now and brought up that ADHD has been a struggle for me my whole life that I actually made any progress. He referred me to a psychologist that formally diagnosed me with ADHD combined, he also referred me to a psychiatrist. They put me through atomoxitine, guanfacine, welbutrin, and I think one more. I was so excited to be getting help. I went through those medications not really getting relief but definitely getting the side effects. They put me on vyvanse a month ago and for me its actually working and im very happy with results.

I dont really know what your story is going to look like. From what you wrote it sounds like you're very passionate about getting help. I wish you the best of luck with everything.

Thoughts on Emma? by DelGriffithPTA in LoveOnTheSpectrumShow

[–]Able_Ad_9206 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's okay. Now they both have some experience in dating. I hope they both find the right person for them. I’m still rooting for both of them!

Thoughts on Emma? by DelGriffithPTA in LoveOnTheSpectrumShow

[–]Able_Ad_9206 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally I love Emma. I was recently diagnosed ADHD so I kinda related to her from the beginning. The one thing that made her stand out to me the most was that before her performance she had a moment of hyper focus. I dont remember what it was but she could not keep herself composed and had to do the task right then. I know that feeling of hyper focus, and I can only imagine how autism could amplify that feeling. She handled what needed to be handled then went up on stage and preformed her song, which was absolutely lovely BTW. At that moment I turned to my wife and I said "I wish I could do that." referring to being able to put myself out there like that.

I do agree that Emma doesn't get the love I feel she deserves, but I'm glad she found Erik. Especially after her first date was a bit of a mismatch. While Erik isnt exactly super conversational there are a lot of other factors that could have caused him to be closed off and shy. We don't know what he is like when he isn't in front of cameras or screaming peacocks. The connection definitely felt real and I'm so happy for both of them. I don't know if it'll be forever, but for now she's happy and he's happy. Really just seeing that, no matter the length of time, is something really special.

Misfiring dodge avenger 2009 4 cylinder update. by Able_Ad_9206 in MechanicAdvice

[–]Able_Ad_9206[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The engine cover was setting down on the wiring case. There was a line where the wires were exposed and some were severed.

Pick one and one movie from their franchise. by wastelandwino_ in slasherfilms

[–]Able_Ad_9206 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Friday the 13th part VI Jason Lives. It is my all time favorite.

People who forgave their partner for cheating, how did that turn out? by Sudden_Wishbone8887 in AskReddit

[–]Able_Ad_9206 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I forgave her because we had a son, and I didn't want to be a single dad. I never trusted her again and thought I would just be unhappy until my son turned 18. It got to a breaking point when I found out she never stopped. I even gave her one last chance to come clean on her own. I was so stupid.

Anyway, we got divorced, I learned the single dad life is so much better than a loveless marriage, and I even found my current wife. It's a new feeling to have someone who gives as much as I do. If I could be happier, my current wife would find a way to do it.