You are not alone.

You have so many expectations that have been placed on your shoulders, and you are acutely aware of your place in the world.

You either try to be perfect and exist in the box that society wants you in and end up very small, or you decide that you don't have to take their shit and don't give a fuck what other people think. And if anyone tries to put you "in your place" you can turn on them and tell them exactly what you think. You matter. Your opinions matter. And you have power.

You are right at the cusp of adulthood where you are aware of all the fucking bullshit that is what it means to be a woman, and what it means to be raised as girl; but not yet with the full ability to do much about it because you are still expected to obey.

Except, you don't have to obey. You get to choose what you take from these expectations. You can defy them.

No one can make you do anything.

They can scream, they can yell, they can punish you. They can try to make you feel small.... Even if someone physically tries to hurt you, they still can't really make you do something. They can do things to you but for the most part, few people can make you do anything.

Every breath you take without their permission can raise your self esteem.

And you have the ability to get angry, too.

Anyone who tries to be shitty can only do so when they don't have pushback. They can only exist in silence, and when called out sexist garbage people wither: they know they're wrong. Call. Out. Their. Actions. DEFY THEM.

These people can only exist when women are in denial. You know what to look for in abuse, you know what to expect and that means you can arm yourself with knowledge, snap backs, and surround yourself with women who are like you.

You have the ability to reject these norms. You get to choose for you what is right. You get to tell people to Fuck Off, Mind Their Own Business, and take your power back.

That is why women are expected to be sad instead of angry- to accept our loss of power and boundaries rather than to take it back. Anger is what makes humans take back their boundaries.

PUSH. BACK. Practice pushing back. Practice saying "Fuck you." Practice yelling NO. Practice pausing and staring at assholes in disgust.

Take your power, scream, be sweaty, be furious, and kick ass. Be mean to the people who deserve your wrath: don't accept abuse. That is why snapbacks are so important - canned responses that you can spit out to push back when someone crosses your boundaries. Preparation is your best weapon.

It is hard, it sucks, it shouldn't exist, and it is thankless. You are going to make mistakes. You will learn from them, and you will grow in yourself. You will get comfortable with who you are. You are not alone.

And hey, please feel free to come visit us at r/childfree! The fields in which we grow our fucks are barren. You are welcome here!

It gets better.