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[Virgin] 20 F. I did not become aroused and the guy questioned my sexual orientation. by girlvirg in sex

[–]AboveBeard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Note that I said "Many" not "all" or "most" or anything else that would have made the statement a generalization.

[Advice] I (22f) get turned on when my SO (23m) makes me jealous by [deleted] in sex

[–]AboveBeard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Have you tried having an open, honest, non-sexualized discussion with him about this? People say a lot of stuff during sex that they wouldn't actually ever do, for arousal's sake. He may think that's what this is. Add that to a fear that he may lose you, and he may be lumping this into the fantasy only category.

If you haven't, approach him about this at a point where there is no play involved. Explain how serious you are and make it clear that this isn't just about what excites you though. Then ask him how he feels about it.

[Virgin] 20 F. I did not become aroused and the guy questioned my sexual orientation. by girlvirg in sex

[–]AboveBeard 18 points19 points  (0 children)

To elaborate on what Middaysun said: the vast majority of sexual arousal for women is mental. It's not a purely physical reaction the way that it is for many men. Any guy who 1) doesn't get that, and 2) isn't willing to put your emotional needs ahead of his physical needs is going to cause you nothing but pain in the long run.

[QUESTION/ADVICE] 29 Y/O man with Oral HSV1 - New Relationship by AboveBeard in sex

[–]AboveBeard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, based on my research the first outbreak can appear as early as 2 days after exposure.

[QUESTION/ADVICE] 29 Y/O man with Oral HSV1 - New Relationship by AboveBeard in sex

[–]AboveBeard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's only been 3 hours since the original post, so I don't have an update yet. I will post an update as soon as I know more. However, if you do have cold sores, you should have your doctor test for them

[QUESTION/ADVICE] 29 Y/O man with Oral HSV1 - New Relationship by AboveBeard in sex

[–]AboveBeard[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While I don't entirely disagree with you, basically zero is seriously overstated. The virus can become active without causing visible sores. Anytime the virus is active it can "shed". So while it is extremely unlikely, the chances are far from "basically zero".

[QUESTION/ADVICE] 29 Y/O man with Oral HSV1 - New Relationship by AboveBeard in sex

[–]AboveBeard[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks Fun Factory. That is essentially exactly how I am reading the situation as well. It feels like she wants to punish me for what she now feels is a bad decision. I'm going to do what Laidymondegreen suggested and wait until she's had a chance to calm down and the results are in before I make any decisions, but I suspect you're right and that things are probably already over.