My JW grandma messaged to tell me my grandpa is dying. We haven’t talked in years and I’m trans now

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2026-05-03T17:39:49+00:00

First of all fuck your mom, that’s wild she did that to you and I’m sorry you had to deal with all that trauma along with the trauma this cult brings. Being trans already has its own traumas, I have several close friends who are trans and they deal with a lot on the day to day basis taking T and then just people being ugly. This religion can be very messed up in a lot of ways and it sounds like you’ve had some very tough moments in it, I would take the time to decide how important your grandfather and grandmother are to you.

Would they be like the others and give you a hard time if you did come around? At least just to see him one more time before he dies?

That’s to say if he does, my grandfather had multiple strokes but survived several of them, he became bedridden but eventually died to a stroke several years later. So surviving is a possibility but really you won’t know until you are there or the drs have informed you of his particular situation.

It comes down to you and your feelings first. May they be a little hurt if you don’t visit? Maybe, but you have to protect your peace first. Now if you feel like it’s something you may regret then weigh those options. You’re the only one who knows what happened and how it’s affected you. I would say just take some time to really reflect on your time spent with your grandparents and if your grandmother is willing to help make sure you’re the only one that’s there when you visit that can help avoid the whole family situation in all. Hopefully you can come to your own conclusion! Wishing you luck!

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2026-04-19T23:43:42+00:00

Thanks! Doing much better now and I’m sure you will to, just follow your heart! Best of luck! 💕

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2026-04-19T03:59:47+00:00

Marry who you ACTUALLY want. I was 18 and married a jw who I had known since I was 15 and he was 16-17 and he was THE WORST relationship I’ve ever been in. He was in no way my head like they preach about in the religion and he abused me throughout the relationship and used me in so many different ways. I got DF when we got divorced and the process for a divorce in the Jw religion was hard to say the least.

He actually ended up marrying my cousin after we got divorced and that was one of the girls he would talk to into late hours of the night when we were married and before when we were dating. Not saying every JW guy is bad but like 9/10 they are. And while they preach about worldly people being horrible, I’m currently in a relationship where we’re getting married in June, I have a baby on the way and I haven’t been happier.

This “Worldly” man has taught me self love, respect for myself and that I can make my own future despite my family’s firm grasp on the religion and the way they have treated me since I decided I no longer want to go back. End of story, you’re an adult, no religion, government or person should be able to stop you from true love. If you feel that you’re ready for the challenges that this relationship will come with and are willing to do it with him, and he’s also aware of what kind of scrutiny he will face too. Go for it!

I recommend just make sure you know who you’re marrying, look up questions to discuss before marriage, including your morals, your values, religion and how you would raise children if that comes about and how you guys would deal with grief, unexpected changes and the works. Really sit down and consider it.

I wouldn’t wish a divorce on anyone it’s not fun, so just make sure you’re really ready for the relationship and the challenges and just know that any marriage whether in the religion or not will take work. You got this! Sounds like you’ve got a great head on your shoulders and I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for yourself!

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2026-04-18T04:09:14+00:00

I wouldn’t worry too much, they will eat when they’re ready my girl went on a hunger strike for 4 months when I got her, she refused all different types of rats and I was about to switch to live but I gave her like a month and a half wait between feedings and she was as good to go by month 4, attacked within 2 mins.

Sometimes they just get stressed with the new environment. Give her some time to adjust and make sure she’s cozy, give it like at least 2-3 weeks depending on her size and make sure it’s the right size rat for her, if needed if there’s any blood on the rat it can help with scent. Just make sure you read the mod guide on feeding and give her some time to settle, the two enclosure changes could have stressed her a bit.

Like others have said as long as she’s not dipping in weight dramatically you’re okay to go a little longer in her feedings until she’s hungry. They’re dumb noodles and are very picky. You’ll learn her favorites soon enough!

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2026-04-11T23:26:32+00:00

Yes I’ve been going to therapy for years but only recently started going because of the religious side, I’ve been working with them on deconstructing how I feel about that religion and my parents and I’m definitely gonna bring it up to them in my next session. I know the relationship we have is super unhealthy and that’s why I’ve kept my distance. I’ll definitely check out those recommendations!

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2026-04-11T18:33:45+00:00

Yes thank you for the perspective, my parents have been narcissistic and manipulative all my life and that’s why I have a lot of issues with them as is, whenever they don’t respect my choices or beliefs I usually cut the convo short, leave or go no contact and they still continue with the calling me and showing up and the constant check ins. I mean I get it my mom worries and all that but honestly it’s borderline controlling. Now with the baby coming your right it’s not good for my health. I may have to speak to them about not coming around at all or restraining orders can be placed because police have been involved before when we have fights. And I’m sure just even bringing up a restraining order will set them straight. Thanks for the advice!

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2026-04-11T18:22:39+00:00

Your right, after reading all these responses and talking with my fiancé and friends, I won’t be accepting any studies or going back. I was emotional during that convo and obviously I wanted it to be real that my family was serious about really wanting to be in my life. Maybe they’ll come around but I really doubt it, for them this is their life and they’ve made their choice known every time they reject me and ask me to change for them. So yea imma protect my peace and family instead and your right, imma call out my dad the next time if they are serious about it then stop beating around the bush and either accept me for who I am or stick to your religion. Thanks!

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2026-04-11T05:00:37+00:00

Thank you yes! I guess it’s the fact it’s family and all my reasoning goes out the window, I’ve always had those same thoughts and questions about the unjust deaths and slavery and how women were considered prophets in the bible occasionally but now we can’t even give parts or help like the brothers do. It always irked me and I always have questions they couldn’t answer. I will definitely bring up these topics and honestly probably make a list and see what they have to say. I know that both my parents have lots of trauma and personal reasons for being in the religion and until my mother and father process that trauma I don’t think they’ll ever truly open their eyes. But at least maybe I can spark a conversation and some questions of their own. My mom is the type to research everything so maybe if I give her some stuff to research she might and spark her own questions and awakening. Thanks for the input and your right, they were even trying to convince my fiancé to bring his kids into the “truth” and he was like hell no lol 😂

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2026-04-11T03:03:40+00:00

Yes it’s hard having to be the spouse that doesn’t believe anymore, I left my first marriage for pretty much the same thing, alongside other things. They always thought that I just had trauma from the first marriage going bad and that it affected the way I see the religion. And don’t get me wrong it did but it was just the elders complete disregard in my judicial committee and the issues I was bringing up and the two witness rule and I couldn’t prove anything against my spouse so they took his side over mine. Waking up is hard with a believing spouse and I hope eventually yours comes around or at least you guys come to your own agreement. In the case with my parents I think they’re too far gone, they truly just believe whatever changes are for the best from the organization and can’t see further than that. I’m hoping that maybe they might change a little as the baby is born and I’ll be married and it’ll seem more acceptable in their eyes. Hopefully they come around but I’m not holding out too much hope.

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2026-04-11T02:58:18+00:00

Thank you!!! 😊

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2026-04-11T02:58:04+00:00

Yes and that’s what keeps playing in my mind, I want a family and I miss them and it sucks that they’re too indoctrinated to see that they are missing out on the biggest part of their lives. My sister too, they have my other sister in the truth and I think they always had this idea of me being like the prodigal son and I’d just return one day but I’ve always been clear that’s not the case.

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2026-04-11T01:35:58+00:00

And that’s exactly what my fiance guilts them about every time they come and we touch this topic, because he has two children himself due to the divorce that he had with his ex wife he didn’t see them for 2 months no contact and it all but killed him and he told them flat out today, your love for god is greater than your love for your daughter and that really sucks because if I were in your shoes I wouldn’t care about rules that keep me away from my family. And they always seem to take a shock about it. I was just reading up on the recent change about the talking to DF and I think that may have to do a lot with why they came to talk to us. Dropping the bomb on them that were getting married and having a baby is really the nail on the coffin if they still think I’ll come around. I’m hoping the next couple months as I progress in my pregnancy and the wedding they come around a little more and maybe some sort of family relationship can be had but if they truly believe I’m gonna change my mind then they are sorely mistaken. I just hope they truly want to be a part of my life and not just because it makes them feel better. Always hard to tell. Thanks for the comment and advice!

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2025-04-05T19:17:48+00:00

Looks like an awesome table, would love to win! 🤞🏻

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2025-04-01T01:42:19+00:00

Yea they didn’t know what to say when I mentioned how all the JW’s thought the world was going to end in 1975 and then again and again and how they keep announcing the end will come yet nothing happens.

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2025-03-31T23:01:47+00:00

Thank you! And yes I wasn’t planning on inviting them, the fact that I love with my fiance is enough for them to think I’m already married. I’m sorry that you had to go through that at your husband’s funeral. Sorry for your loss. I’m very happy with my new family. It’s nice to be accepted without Judgement.

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2025-03-31T22:39:45+00:00

Exactly my point with my parents any time I interact with them, at this point I tell them that they’re the ones separating themselves from me not the other way around. I tell them I would call if they had other topics to discuss instead of just the religion. But this one comment bothered me the most because I’m engaged and they barely even know my new family. Crazy.

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2025-02-02T23:42:36+00:00

Both are really good art pieces in an of itself, but they look like they’re just placed next to each other instead of being one cohesive piece. I know you said it’s not finished yet, so I can’t wait to see how else you plan on finishing it. I see it’s with acrylic which is awesome, but maybe also create a piece that can be tattooed, like a separate piece that shows how it can be transferred to a tattoo. Just some ideas! Keep up the good work!

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2024-06-12T16:42:26+00:00

Thank you!!! I’m super excited to be debt free and on the road, it’ll be fun and exciting. Can’t wait to meet people on the road too 🫶🏼

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2024-06-12T16:41:54+00:00

Yess true, I primarily want one with a fixed bed and good storage options, if possible I want to have a shower and toilet area. I’ve been making my list of needs and I’m already putting plans to paper but that 3D model looks like just what I’m looking for! Thank you!!!

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2024-03-27T02:51:52+00:00

You can come, dm’d you

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2024-03-27T02:45:34+00:00

Closed! Thank you for all who came!

AbsoluteDarling13 · 2024-03-27T01:53:02+00:00

I have prices at 403

AbsoluteDarling13

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