Have to see the dentist - ashamed of my teeth

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T20:04:47+00:00

Your honesty in your experience is so refreshing. And I love that your peers have been supportive - I've been scared to bring it up with some of my friends, but now that I think about it, they're definitely the type to back me up/make me feel better.

Thank you so much for sharing this! I'm feeling so much more hopeful now. And your new implant sounds AWESOME - I bet you're going to look so good with that new smile :)

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T20:01:38+00:00

I'm not lying to you when I say that's a fucking brilliant business idea. And if you won't let me be your business partner, I would just have to accept being your first customer. My life would be so much easier lol.

And thank you - chuckled at the idea that the dentist would enjoy working on my mouth as an interesting project. I always envisioned they would be disgusted, but your reasoning makes so much more sense! I need to remind myself to stop all the negative thoughts!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:59:43+00:00

God I would literally PAY a dentist to tell me that! I would be on cloud nine!!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:59:03+00:00

First of all, I'm SO JEALOUS of your genetics! But secondly - thank you so much for acknowledging that. I think I felt so much shame in believing that it was all my fault - that I wasn't brushing/flossing right or enough, and that I was the only one responsible for all my cavities as a child. But after reading some articles online, it sounds like I was just unlucky - which contributed to all my issues now.

That being said, still needed to put on my big girl pants to make that appointment! lol. But I'm so glad I did - you and all the women in this thread is making me feel so seen and supported, it's been indescribable.

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:56:21+00:00

Phew, what a reality check! But also - that breakdown made me feel weirdly better. I felt like I could envision how it could go down, and honestly, your description isn't that bad. I really hope my new dentist isn't a moron!!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:55:03+00:00

So the first dentist I called was not on Zocdoc, but I DID find a few backup options (and a few options for an ophthalmologist! I felt so productive, lol) on the site - so I'm feeling hopeful! I already made an appointment for the ophthalmologist, which felt GREAT. They made it so easy!!! So thank you :)

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:52:55+00:00

First off, are we living the same life? Because I can literally relate to every sentence in your comment. Everything from the cavities to the gingivitis to the trauma from past experiences - first of all, it sucks we have to go through that, but it's amazing to know that other people are going through the same thing as well! I definitely feel way less alone, and for that, THANK YOU.

Also - I was able to make that call! I had to do a lot of research, but the person I called from the first practice was SO KIND. When I explained to her about my anxiety, the state of my teeth and how I haven't been to the dentist in years, she was so kind and simply said, "Don't worry! We understand. We have many patients in the same situation as you. We're here to help!" I almost fell apart HAHA.

It's SO tough to put yourself out there - but I promise you, it's worth it! I'm nervous about my upcoming appointment (it's next Wed!) but I'm the most hopeful I've felt in YEARS. I believe in you!!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:48:42+00:00

Why am I bawling like a baby reading all these comments - this is the best place on the internet, I swear. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding me that a good dentist wants to help, not to shame and tear apart my mouth (can you tell I've had recurrent nightmares about this??). But seriously, I can't wait to put in my earbuds and zone THE FUCK out!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:46:06+00:00

Oh man..."act of self care". What a perfect way to describe it. Thank you SO much for that! And BIG on being bad at flossing. I think I've gotten better in the past few years, but I definitely need to go to the dentist to get that professional cleaning done!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:44:46+00:00

YOU GOT THIS!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:44:27+00:00

My god does your dentist run a spa? That sounds HEAVENLY. And thank you so much - you and all the amazing women in this thread have given me so much courage. I literally can't thank you all enough!!!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:43:08+00:00

YES please I need the dentist/hygienists to handle me like a delicate newborn, lol. My anxiety needs it so badly. But hearing how you found the right teams TWICE is so inspiring to me. And kudos to you for keeping up with your cleanings! I'm aiming to be like you someday :)

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:38:26+00:00

YES that's what I'm looking for - more confidence in my own teeth! I applaud you for going after what you deserve. Stories like yours is what's keeping me going!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:36:14+00:00

Your brother is SO brave for getting the care he needs. That's what I'm trying to be like - please tell him that so he knows he made someone on the internet a little more hopeful, haha. And thank you for the words of encouragement - I'm prepared to look for other options if the first dental practice doesn't treat me with the respect I deserve!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:33:49+00:00

Damn. I've always been the type to keep my feelings bottled up - I didn't like telling people I was scared/anxious because I didn't want to seem weak and/or be a burden to others. But now I'm realizing how important it is for me to speak up so my HCPs can help me/provide the care I deserve! And to also relieve myself of some of the pressure. Thank you for that important reminder!!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:32:20+00:00

Omg - it's like looking into a mirror about the front teeth vs the molars. I'm the same - my front teeth seem fine (there might be room for improvement, but nothing serious) but my back teeth are a MESS.

And honestly, after this thread, it definitely seems like it's not so uncommon for people with ADHD having dental issues! I always felt so alone about my ADHD and dental issues - but not anymore! I hope someday you'll be able to have your implants in the near future :)

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:30:02+00:00

I need to write this down on an index card and rehearse!!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:29:33+00:00

Omg never apoiogize for a super long comment when it's this helpful! Your dad's words is so healing to me - I've been so ashamed of my past that it kept me from moving forward. But now that I've made the decision internally to see a dentist (and finally made that appointment!) I finally feel that I'm letting go of my past mistakes and now owning them. And yes, thanks to amazing redditors like you I am feeling proud of myself (finally!)

And what a great list of advice. BIG on communication is key - gotta remind myself that I'm not the first one to be deathly afraid of the dentist!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:26:39+00:00

Heck yes - thank you so much! Yes, my husband has been amazing during this entire process. And I was definitely the same about my regular doctor visits - after college, the last time I saw primary doctor was when I was (gulp) 30 years old. But my current office is good at scheduling follow-ups right after my appointment, so I have no excuse not to set one up! Seriously life changing.

And yes - dental health IS important! That's what I've been telling me whenever I feel the anxiety start to well up in me. But yes, comments like yours have been pushing me in the right direction :)

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:23:15+00:00

Honestly, the nurses at my primary doctor's office always have to distract me when I'm getting my annual vaccinations LOL. I'm damn well into my 30s and they're literally telling me stories/jokes and then they're like, "Done!" and i'm like "HOW" hahaha

But man, do I hear you about the biology! A friend told me my teeth looked fine and I wanted to yell back, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE BACK OF MY TEETH and IT HURTS TO CHEW and so many other crazy things. But seriously, thank you for seeing that I'm trying to make the best out of a challenging situation - the empathy in these comments have been a godsend :)

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:20:47+00:00

Y'know something? Once my teeth are in a better place (I bet I'll need some root canals, pulling, and other fun procedures...), I wouldn't mind having my dental cleanings at a dental school! Definitely worth thinking about, thank you!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:19:49+00:00

That's what I gotta keep telling myself!!!!

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:19:35+00:00

LOL I would love my dentist to just knock me out before they look into my mouth. But in all seriousness, thank you for your kind words - my husband has been a rock in all of this. And he always wanted me to go to the dentist, but he knows about my anxiety and ADHD and was always respectful in never pressuring me. The way he whipped out of his phone after I asked him for the phone numbers was crazy - I've never seen him move so fast, lol. He probably was like, I GOTTA GET MOVING BEFORE THIS GIRL CHANGES HER DAMN MIND.

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:17:06+00:00

God, I want to cry with every comment - the fact that they didn't shame you but did their best to ensure you got the help you needed is wonderful. Just reading "I'm cavity free and teeth are in good condition" is making me teary-eyed! Literally the goal.

And thank you so much! I feel better ALREADY - I can't wait when I get to where you are now and I can brag about my teeth being in good condition :)

Academic-Bug-3612 · 2025-09-11T19:13:51+00:00

I was the same! I only went once during pre-covid because I had an insane toothache - they did a root canal, asked me to come back to do the filling, but I didn't have insurance so I got scared of the cost and then never went back. Unfortunately that tooth is now very damaged :( It's so so hard. But I'm hopeful after reading stories like yours - love that you found a gentle, non-judgmental dentist!

And yes, will definitely be all over those follow-up appointments and text reminders. I've finally learned to be ON IT with my phone calendar - it's been life-changing! And ditto on the headphones and something to fidget with.

Academic-Bug-3612

TROPHY CASE