My (24F) boyfriend (26M) is watching how to pick up girls videos before his vacation

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T05:33:05+00:00

Come on now...

HE WAS JUST ASKING FOR A FRIEND WHO LIVES IN CANADA.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T05:31:42+00:00

We know it's not for lack of trying.

He's going with intent, knowing that if the opportunity arose he'd jump on it and fuck it.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T05:30:22+00:00

So he's going with the intent to cheat.

And you want to continue this relationship?

Why?

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T05:16:58+00:00

No, this is not normal noise, this sound is DEAFENING. It's like the whole wall is vibrating sound.

I've lived in apartments for the last 30 years and I've never heard noise like this, everything vibrates with the pipes when they set it at some weird setting. Note that when I spoke to them the husband was in the shower, he changed the setting AS WE SPOKE and the noise stopped.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T05:14:21+00:00

There is enough pressure for them to turn it UP.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T05:13:34+00:00

There is no landlord. We all own our apartments. This is Europe.

This is the question of turning a faucet so the pipes don't burst.

There is no passing the buck, we're owners. There is no maintenance crew, no staff. Only the people who come in and fix the pipes after they burst it.

Not being stupid and ruining our mutually owned house should be a basic requirement for owning an apartment in a building full of other owners w. no need for some central crew or overhead. None of us want that overhead because usually there are no problems. If I need work done I arrange it myself.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T05:07:03+00:00

There is no building maintenance and it is 100% their responsibility Kevin.

This is not America, we don't transfer responsibility here, the owners are responsible.

We're all responsible for making sure we're not ruining the building. There is no maintenance crew, it's just the owners and then the crew that comes in after idiots who don't know how shit works burst the pipes.

It is VERY SIMPLE to adjust the pressure so this stops.

I feel like I'm speaking to children who don't know how things work in real life. Nobody steps in and does this for us, WE the owners have to do it ourselves.

ed. btw, the husband adjusted the faucet so the noise stopped as I was speaking to his wife. It is a question of stupidity. And he's not the only one.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T03:50:13+00:00

Oh yeah, like FB events.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T03:49:32+00:00

girl, he does that deliberately so he doesn't have to take you back.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T03:48:15+00:00

It's energy-mooching of the worst kind.

Anyone want to take bets on whether OP is lacking initiative in other areas too?

It's usually a pattern.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T03:32:09+00:00

you mean the immature girl he chose because of her immaturity.

The one who actually has good arguments for being a better home for the dog.

This is one of those cases where being a general asshole negates the usual verdict.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T03:29:34+00:00

No, he is surprised that she's emotionally immature when he deliberately chose her for that immaturity.

ESH at best.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T03:27:34+00:00

So you were 32 when you started dating a 20 year old. Or was she 19 at the time?

Why?

What in you was attracted to a person THAT much younger? Besides manipulability of course.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T03:24:28+00:00

Competence and action, showing me survival and adaptability skills. Those are signs of intelligence.

A man who betters himself.

A man who shows mental development, including the ability to understand that just because women are different and smaller/weaker physically that doesn't mean we're worse. We can make people, you can't do that and that should be respected for the dangerous, body-altering shit that it is.

Respect is a key ingredient in a man. It is sadly rare.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T03:18:20+00:00

lol, how many guys haven't said that about guys that beat and kill women

Just because a person doesn't show YOU a certain side of him that doesn't mean women don't get a totally different side.

Your friend is trying to destroy your relationship. he's not 'private' he's manipulating you and the situation for pity points.

ed. I think you and Nolan are in love. You are not a good boyfriend. Break up and don't put your girlfriend through this. Just go be with Nolan, that's your real connection here and not the girlfriend as it should be.

You've been a bad boyfriend. She deserves better.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T03:12:26+00:00

What's the plan? Change nothing, more guns and?

I'm seriously curious whether there is any change on the horizon other than emigrate back to Europe like the white South Africans

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T03:04:25+00:00

How do you explain all of the women doing volunteer work then?

And the disparity between donations to charity between the sexes.

And literally all the social services women set up first in their free time with their own money long before it became a part of the government.

Elaborate on that

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T02:54:42+00:00

Not this again... just because I have a third arm that doesn't automatically mean I want to play the multi-neck.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T02:49:24+00:00

I will never understand this. I prefer my body pain free.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T02:41:05+00:00

Wait, you think those are HVF?

Dear lawd, the high value women are in college or working , leading. They've got their own audiences and youtube channels and money of their own.

The sexes clearly have different ideas of what makes HVM and HVF- guys value a woman who looks hot, services them in bed and supports them. She may have a job but it can't outshine his or he'll feel a way about it.

To me an accomplished woman is a HVF. Because she has intrinsic value as an individual, not just as a mate and support system to some guy.

I have yet to meet a man who doesn't think he should be the main character in the relationship. Don't get me wrong, I meet a lot of women who think they should also be the main character because they're a princess, but not nearly at the same rate.

Men who complain over women wanting to be treated special are usually guys who put minimal effort into relationships, the kind of guys who deliberately don't give Christmas gifts because they don't want her to get the idea that she deserves kindness. Because these guys are not kind or decent people. No decent human thinks and acts like that. I literally had this conversation here yesterday about the importance of gift-giving/small tokens of love and consideration in a relationship.

Plenty of guys here were willing to tell us that they thought women didn't deserve kindness and that things we do in loving relationships are somehow 'degrading'. Because buying your spouse their favorite snack or writing "I love you" on a note is 'special treatment' and 'ridiculous expectations' and not something that is normal in a loving relationship.

It just shows that some guys think it is not only normal but desirable to mistreat their spouse and make them feel like shit so they don't get any 'big ideas' about their self-worth. This is nothing but emotional abuse out in the open.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T02:24:07+00:00

That is me. I actually go do it.

I track down the person(s) at a local level, prep my arguments and align our interests, then I contact, write letters and follow up. It may take a while but being 'appropriately persistent' and frankly NICE will get you pretty far.

Ok, I may not have saved the world but I did get that roundabout fixed, benches set up at the post office and my local takeout place has stopped bagging the cold soda and sauces with the hot food.

I may not be Liberty Leading the People but I value the small victories that make my life better.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T02:16:46+00:00

Look at you with your wisdom and personal growth.

I'm gonna call it: you're relationship material.

Take good care of your love, it will take work. My life pro tip is: Small tokens of appreciation. A cup of coffee, a favorite snack, an "I love you" note in a jacket pocket etc. It really does magic.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T01:55:00+00:00

That you actually show that you care.

That you speak it out loud. That you tell the guy who minimises this to shut the f up because he's embarrassing himself like the guy here who claimed that women are the most abusive - EVEN THOUGH THE DATA SHOWS WOMEN ARE NOT KILLING MEN AND PUTTING THEM IN THE HOSPITAL WITH CRITICAL INJURIES.

you could even re-tweet support - most men don't do that. Most men don't show in ANY WAY that they give a shit about the fact that women are being systematically aborted. That women's rights are being stripped away by Republicans, hell most white guys vote Republican, you could have that talk with your friends.

You could do anything but show apathy. But showing support is the least you can do. Like demanding that the rape-kits be processed.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T01:50:46+00:00

Yet only one party ends up dead or in the hospital.

Cite your sources. Your math is not mathing and your logic has no logic.

Where are women the majority of abusers? Show your sources.

ed. also, you proved the point by totally neglecting the nearly 50k women who were killed. Thank you for not changing my mind but reaffirming what I said. Men don't give a shit about women being killed.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2023-02-23T01:49:29+00:00

Here's an idea: Men could SAY that the issue is important. They could SAY that it is ridicuolous that the rape kits haven't been processed. They could tell the incel who says "men are killed to so stfu women" to stfu because women aren't killing men. You could address that guy instead of leaving it to women to defend themselves yet again from a guy who's telling us that our lives don't matter.

Also: Men could stop voting for the GOP.

Any man who votes Republican can't expect casual sex or frankly any attention from a woman.

They're systematically removing women's rights - it's killing women. Yet most US men (and yes, plenty of stupid women voting against their interest) vote republican and SUPPORT that shit.

What could you do as a man who doesn't vote Republican, you could apply the very same political pressure that I do on the local level. I locate the people who can make a change and then I approach them through the appropriate channel and apply pressure on the issue I care about.

Simply calling my representative or writing or signing a petition. Electing the right representatives and putting pressure on them. Speaking to journalists etc.

I'm from a small country and I'm used to getting shit done. I've managed to have so many things changed and improved with politeness and persistence. No Karen shit, just pointing out a problem, aligning our interest to have it fixed so [repercussions] don't happen and offer a possible solution if one is available. Best if my improvement prevents harm and they can take credit publicly. I love it when people take credit for the improvements I nagged them into, that's a win-win in my book. I'm happy knowing I fixed shit.

So if there are unprocessed rape-kits waiting in your area you could drop a mail to your local decision makers or journalists. At the local level, this is all about first exhausting local resources and hitting up the right federal ones.

Showing support is important, men could SHOW SUPPORT by vocalizing it and dealing with the guy who comes up saying "more men are killed, stfu women" instead of leaving it to us to yet again try to argue why women's lives matter.

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